"Come here" and "go there" (part 5)

"As the clatter and clamor of life bustle about us, we hear shouting to 'come here' and to 'go there.' In the midst of the noise and seductive voices that compete for our time and interest, a solitary figure stands on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, calling quietly to us, 'Follow me.'" 

- Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Follow Me," April 2002

Image via Popular Mechanics, The Real Face of Jesus: What Did Jesus Look Like?

Bonus scriptures:
"And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away"

"And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will"

"For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things"

"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven"


Bonus links:

• Stand By My Side by Liese Rodger. "I am a Black woman who has lived in Utah for twelve years. Utah is a state with a rich history that its people are immensely proud of. But for a people so enriched in the stories of their oppressed pioneer ancestors, I often wonder why it is so difficult for many to see the parallels between their own oppression and the deeply rooted, ongoing history of their minority neighbors."
• We Are Witnesses by Charlotte Mountain. "What has made [George Floyd's] murder so different? It is that we are witnesses.... This video was shot with a steady hand by a 17-year-old girl named Darnella Frazier. Keep her in your prayers. The Latter-day Saint religion has a great tradition of anointing and setting apart children for great things. I believe that for this day Darnella has been set apart. She showed us the truth. She made us witnesses."
• Why I'm Skeptical of New Christian Allies by Marc Antoine Lavarin. "Something majestic is taking place in the midst of this struggle. However, in order for us to seize the moment, we must avoid the path of safe and easy allyship that doesn’t require theological transformation."
• Womanist Theology and Mormonism (Maxwell Institute podcast) with Janan Graham-Russell. "When you think about your religious beliefs, your theology, how much consideration have you given to your race? How has the color of your skin affected your understanding of God, of Jesus Christ, or of your religious community? Maybe you’ve never thought much about it. If you’re a black Latter-day Saint in America, you virtually can’t escape these kinds of questions. Many black American Latter-day Saints know that questions about the color of their skin and their faith are deeply intertwined. Add the component of gender and the questions multiply."
• "There Is No Equality": William E. Berrett, BYU, and Healing the Wounds of Racism in the Latter-day Saint Past and Present by Rebecca de Schweinitz. "Shortly before The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’s 2018 'Be One' event, celebrating forty years since the LDS Church removed racial restrictions on temple and priesthood participation, Black Latter-day Saint podcaster and author Zandra Vranes asked white members to consider 'what you or your Mormon ancestors were doing between 1852 and June 7, 1978.' It’s an important question that forces us to, in Eugene England’s words, 'face our unbearable Mormon loss of innocence.'" 
• Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter, Black Mormon Lives Matter by Meg Conley. "We are not individualists. Individualism is anathema to Mormon theology. If heaven can only be built through physical and spiritual collective action (and the temple is a physical and spiritual place) then God’s Kingdom on earth can only be built through both physical and spiritual action. Our ancestors said their prayers and then got off their knees and acted for the community."
• New Volume of Saints Reveals the Many Sides of Brigham Young by Peggy Fletcher Stack. "This image of the 'Lion of the Lord,' as he was known, sits atop monuments, stands on statues and graces a university named for him. In today’s 16 million-member Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, however, believers know little of Young’s many sides — tender, stubborn, willful, racist, yet profoundly religious with a great love for the temple."
• Follow Christ to Eliminate Racism by Bryant Jensen, with contributions by Janan Graham-Russell and Melissa Inouye. "By following Christ to eliminate racism, we participate in the “ongoing Restoration” of His gospel and prepare for His Second Coming. We are all children of God, members of a body. Some members have been terribly mistreated, for a very long time. Let’s work arm-in-arm—Latter-day Saints of all racial and ethnic backgrounds—to eliminate interpersonal, institutional, and implicit racism. He lives and loves us all, with our differences. He asks us to do the same." 
• Healing the Wounds of Racism by Darius Gray. "1. Acknowledge the problem. 2. Recognize it in ourselves. 3. Learn a new approach. 4. Listen."

*

Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"

In much patience (part 4)

And, here are action ideas 7-10.

Please consider these action ideas, many of which you may already be practicing, and resolve with me to make our circles at church more open, more generous, and more holy.

If they seem obvious to you: great! You're probably already doing these things! If they seem suspect or like overkill to you, maybe examine why.

TL;DR:
7) Don't ever make it about me.   
8) Avoid asking personal questions rooted in stereotypes.   
9) Listen, learn, and become friends.  
10) Repent.

7) "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted"
See also: mourn with those that mourn, in previous post.

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Eeeeeek, this is a tricky one. Ever hear of White Tears? You probably have. (Either way, I recommend About the Weary Weaponizing of White Women's Tears by Luvvie Ajayi Jones and White Women's Tears and the Men Who Love Them by Robin DiAngelo.) "White Tears" don't  mean a white person's natural empathetic human tears. White Tears are a emotional tool to help me center a situation around myself. There are a whole lot of tears flowing at church, and there always were and there always will be. So where is the line?
Action: If I find myself in an uncomfortable or emotional situation with a person of another race--or I am talking about race at church, for instance trying to stand up for someone who is a victim of racism, or maybe I'm bearing my testimony or it's some other emotionally charged moment--and I need to cry, because crying happens, I will make sure my tears are not about me. If they are about me, and I can't redirect the emotion to focus on what the problem really is, then I will excuse myself until I'm ready.

I *think* I can avoid this situation by processing those types of tears on my own at home so they don't sneak up on me in public. If I'm accused of being racist and I feel tears coming, I will promptly apologize--"I am so sorry that I hurt you, and I will listen if you'd like to say anything further"--and then promise to get back to the person ASAP once I've composed myself. I am not talking about empathetic tears in an intimate and loving conversation. I am talking about self-centering tears.



8) "In much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labours, in watchings, in fastings; by pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned, by the word of truth, by the power of God"
Whew, this discipleship thing is harder than it looks.

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Action: You might want to laugh at this one because it sounds so ridiculous, but it's really very unfunny. One way to help scale back the inadvertent offensive questions, and simultaneously to check our own biases, sounds really obvious and more than a little nerdy. If you have a question about Black people: before asking a Black person directly, try googling it first. Really. Have you ever asked a Black person if they wear sunscreen? I'm reluctant to admit that I did once. I had never thought about it before. I knew about melanin but apparently not very much. We were at the pool and I offered this friend some of my sunscreen: "...or actually, do you wear sunscreen?" His answer was friendly and succinct: "Yes, I wear sunscreen." That was about 4 years ago. Ugh. I am a curious and open person, and I sometimes can get over-personal with people. But I am trying, and I think (?) I'm less likely to ask those questions now than I was 4 years ago.

You're probably better versed in human biology than I was at the time... at age 33... (hmmm) so anyway, you won't run into that one. But what other weird ideas or questions might any well-intentioned person be harboring? Do they border on stereotypes? If a question about Black people (or Asian people or Latinx people or any people as a "people") pops up in my mind, if there's anything I'm wondering, try googling it before asking anyone. And then if I'm surprised by the answer, examine why. Dig into that.

While I'm googling, maybe even google around to figure out if I'm saying stuff I shouldn't be saying. (I literally just googled "what not to say to Black people" to see what's there, and a ton of articles popped up. Clearly a lot of people are wondering this... or a lot of people are wishing that people were wondering this.) Note: This applies to any race I do not belong to.

Besides. After stocking up on all of that information, and digging the biases out of myself, I may just find that I can have a normal conversation about normal stuff and not be an idiot who is accidentally offensive. Please note: I am NOT an antiracism expert, if you want to be academic about it there are lots of classes and seminars and things to help with this type of idiocy which enough of us want to overcome including me, that it's a problem and there's a market for it, and an extra great thing about purchasing these services is that it is supporting Black-owned businesses. A few courses that I have seen that look great are run by Dr. Mica McGriggs, Dr. Lucretia Carter Berry, and Monique Melton.

Side note about this. Sometimes people ask me a personal question about a "label" I belong to that they do not belong to--such as Latter-day Saint, or stay-at-home mom, or white person--and they preface it with "I don't want to be offensive," and I always laugh because I am a ridiculously open book, there are almost no questions you could ask me that would offend me (except maybe if you catch me between day 22-28 of my cycle, and that is a stereotype that is very true in my case). That confidence and openness comes from privilege. It comes from the fact that most days, people don't ask me naive questions about my race, because they know a lot about my race, because it's the dominant race in America. Also, I am unafraid of just about anyone who is asking me these questions. I know that "privilege" is a buzzword that has been around a long time, and sometimes it feels political or like an excuse, but it makes so much sense. I love Jasmine Bradshaw's explorations of it at First Name Basis. Anyway, just wanted to note that just because I don't think anyone could offend me, doesn't mean I should ever assume that my questions are inoffensive.


9) "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath"
Feel free to let me know if you've mastered this one. I like to talk and I'm usually right. Right?? ;)

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We've just established that just because I'm not easily offended doesn't mean I should assume that what I say is always inoffensive. Now about being swift to hear: listening instead of talking is so hard sometimes but so important. As far as action goes, number one is always going to be personal relationships, and we will all work on those in our own spheres. But we don't know everyone. And if we're a white Mormon, it's fairly likely that we aren't close with very many Black Mormons. Below I will share a few Black LDS people's perspectives that are available on the Internet, that I have found helpful.

Action: I will actively seek to listen to Black LDS people's perspectives (in all their varieties :) and to be a friend. Everyone makes friends in their own ways, but a few would be invite them over to dinner (someday when we're visiting each other's houses again...), make plans based on mutual interests, follow them on social media. You know, the usual. So: this action will be in my personal circle as well as voices that I connect with online, that I will continue to listen to, not just as a passing fad.

Obviously this doesn't mean cornering the next Black person and saying "Hello, please tell me your story of being Black at church!!!" [cringe] It means becoming friends; learning about each other is part of that.

PSA: With the below links, I am including specifically people I am familiar with who talk about the Black LDS experience. There are also many many many MANY Black people of many faiths who have made their voices available online to listen to, enjoy, and learn from. Feel free to share any suggestions you have.

Black LDS Legacy and Black Lives Matter to Christ (see previous post)

Beyond the Block: Every week these two discuss the Come Follow Me curriculum. In their own words: "Brother Jones and Brother Knox describe themselves as staunch advocates for the theology and harsh critics of the culture when it comes to Mormonism. A black life-long member and queer convert respectively, they bring a less heard perspective to the notoriously white and heteronormative faith."

First Name Basis: Look for Jasmine of First Name Basis on Instagram or any podcast app. She is Black biracial and a Latter-day Saint. "I'm Jasmine Bradshaw, a researcher, educator, podcaster, and founder of the First Name Basis Community. I truly believe that creating a more loving, inclusive, and just society starts within the sacred walls of our homes. First Name Basis exists to give you the tools you need to teach your children about race, religion, and culture. In this space we prioritize truth, hold one another accountable, and celebrate growth!"

Sistas in Zion: Tamu Smith and Zandra Vranes are on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, and they have written multiple books together. "The Sistas in Zion are two friends, Zandra Vranes and Tamu Smith, who started a blog to keep in touch when one moved out of state. Their journey, detailed in their blog, touches on all aspects of life, but most especially and most importantly on being inclusive in a world that is increasingly polarizing and divisive."

*Bonus: Not LDS, but faith-based:
Black Coffee with White Friends: Marcie is a generous and faithful Black person who shares her perspective purposefully with thousands of white friends. "I am usually the only black person in the room. That is what this is, what this blog is all about: me being the only one, most days, in most of the places I go.... Unknowingly, we so often narrow our scope of black and of white. So therefore, we narrow our experience of the complexities of each color. We miss the nuances because we can't see the differing hues. These stories I hope widen our lenses. My days radiate a unique color of the Imago Dei reflecting a particular shade and hue that He specifically chose for me to wear, and said that it was 'Good.'"


10) "When we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride... the Spirit of the Lord is grieved"
Pretty strong language that speaks for itself.

Image via me

I saved the best for last! JK. This is complicated. Not all members of our Church, believing or not, have been happy with our leadership's tentative stance on our racist past. I'm personally not that happy with it, although I think I understand where it's coming from. The NAACP is maybe medium happy with it. But I think I look at this through a specific lens, which is that I am faithful and have already spent many years reconciling a lot of the tough stuff. So it's easy to say to myself: this is a mess, but it's been a mess more often than not, and we still have a prophet, and we still have lots of people who are speaking up and staying faithful, and it is all going to be OK.

Jumping straight into the tough stuff all at once without a friend to lean on, though, can lead to a devastating faith crisis. If you're old enough, you may have already been through a faith crisis or two, and having friends to lean on can make the difference. Regardless, we have all been called to repentance lots of times, not just in D&C 121 (above) but also pretty recently, about this very topic.
Action: Daily, a little at a time, with the glimpses of clarity I can see as I'm trying my best, I will do what President Nelson has said: "The Creator of us all calls on each of us to abandon attitudes of prejudice against any group of God’s children. Any of us who has prejudice toward another race needs to repent!" How does a person repent of their sins? Something along the lines of: "confess them and forsake them." Also, repentance is not a quick or easy fix. It's a rebuilding.

Am I going to publicly self-flagellate so everyone knows I ONCE WAS LOST, BUT NOW AM FOUND?

No.

Besides, in LDS theology, repentance is not a one-time thing. It is daily and it is personal. I will examine my past and present actions. I will do the work in whatever way makes sense to my heart. I will keep coming back. I will not stop.



Bonus scriptures and links listed in next post.


Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"

Mourn with those that mourn (part 3)

Part 3! Action ideas 4-6.

Please consider these action ideas, many of which you may already be practicing, and resolve with me to make our circles at church more open, more generous, and more holy.

If they seem obvious to you: great! You're probably already doing these things! If they seem suspect or like overkill to you, maybe examine why.

TL; DR:
4) Apologize when I offend someone, even accidentally.
5) Speak up when witnessing racist statements or events.
6) Practice "comfort and cleanup" skills (thanks to Dr. LaShawn Williams for this concept)


4) "Now, it came to pass that when I had heard these words I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren"
I care deeply for my fellow humans. I do not want to hurt anyone.

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We don't want to hurt each other. We don't want to offend each other. And if we didn't MEAN to hurt or offend each other, it boggles our mind that we could do so accidentally. They are being so sensitive! If I could just EXPLAIN what I really meant...
Action: If someone at church who belongs to a different race tells me that I have offended them by something I have said or done, I am going to apologize and listen. Full stop. God knows my intent. The person I offended only feels the impact, and they don't actually need me to explain my intent in detail. Maybe I can explain my intent to them later, once I've understood the impact I made and if we have come to an understanding and a forgiveness. But honestly? Once I've understood the impact, and we've come to an understanding and a forgiveness, my urgent need to explain why "I didn't mean it that way" will probably dissipate. *note to self: this is probably a good process to follow whenever I offend someone about anything...


5) "This is Zion—the pure in heart; therefore, let Zion rejoice, while all the wicked shall mourn"
I actually meant to put this verse in my first post because I'm using it ironically, but it got lost in the shuffle. If Zion is the pure in heart, then "racist" is a label for the wicked, and that's not me, right?!

 

The above video is a thoughtful and funny version of the "intent versus impact" principle: it explores a conversation focusing on "what a person did" versus a conversation about "who a person is."
Action: As a lifelong habit that goes hand-in-hand with listening to my Black friends and taking note of what seemingly innocuous statements said by me or someone else are actually racist: If I notice something racist at church, or in a conversation surrounding church, I will point it out. If I am afraid or caught off guard and don't point it out in the moment, I will take some time soon afterward and point it out privately in the way I deem appropriate for my relationship with the person (some form of "X sounded racist because Y"). And I will focus on the action or the words, rather than speculating anything aloud, or in my heart, about the person's character or intent. Not only because there's no way for me to know someone's intent, but also because if I accuse someone of bad intentions ("You are racist!"), they'll block me out, and rightly so, because I'm acting like I know their heart when I don't.

Side note: A white person is not going to be the expert on antiracism, but don't be afraid to speak up anyway. If another white person says they don't need to listen to what you say about racism because you're white, just absorb that. It's fine. You're white, but that doesn't mean you can't talk about race in a helpful way, if you are using what you've learned from Black people, and for that matter what you've learned from people of any race or ethnicity. You have a unique voice and unique circles that only you can touch. You'll stumble and that's fine too. Black Saints should not be bearing this burden alone.

6) "And now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort"
This is boilerplate Mormonism. One of our most famous scriptures. We want to be there for each other. Help and serve. Cry together. Hug each other.

I draw this connection specifically because of something I learned from Dr. LaShawn Williams during an MWEG town hall about Black Lives Matter. She used the example of playing to her strengths as a mom: she hates vomit and has a hard time handling it psychologically when one of her children vomits. But she is very good at handling "the comfort and the cleanup." Hugs, laundry, changing the sheets, etc.
She offered this Action: I will practice my "comfort and cleanup" skills. In a situation where a white person says or does something that is racist, and a Black person is hurt (this could be a comment in a lesson, or it could be a talk, or it could be a casual conversation), as a bystander we may or may not be confident enough to say something in the moment. We may or may not be brave enough to talk to the person who said the harmful thing. But either way, we can "comfort and clean up" by reaching out to the person who was a victim of the harmful words or actions. Letting them know that we witnessed it, showing them we care, asking them if they want to talk about it, but not pushing anything on them in a white savior sort of way. Following the Spirit to continue in the "comfort and cleanup" in the way that the people of Alma promised to do. This may also apply in any situation where we believe our Black friend may be suffering from any racist or racially charged incident, either personally or in the news.

Another note which is maybe kind of tangential but I'm putting it in anyway because I like it: this can also include developing a resolve to speak up about racism sooner in the future, and also a resolve to be mindful about weaving in this topic at church in the future, not because I have an Agenda, but because I don't want our awareness to be a passing trend. Over the pulpit (in a prayer or a testimony or a talk), in a lesson (with kids or adults), in a meeting (presidency, council, what have you).

*The key to doing this effectively is: be sincere, and put your "money" where your mouth is. If I have shown to my fellow members that I am dedicated--in my callings, in my service, in my testimony--then it's less likely I'll be dismissed as Just Someone with an Agenda.

**And by that logic, if I am anxiously engaged in the gospel and truly want the best for the church community, then it's less likely I'll be Just Someone with an Agenda. (This tweet from Luvvie Ajayi Jones about Dennis Rodman, and her Instagram caption, made me lol and illustrates a little bit of what I mean.)(Can you handle my tangents?? If you've made it this far: looks like you can.)

More soon.

*

Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"

Seek ye diligently (part 2)

Please consider these action ideas, many of which you may already be practicing, and resolve with me to make our circles at church more open, more generous, and more holy.

If they seem obvious to you: great! You're probably already doing these things! If they seem suspect or like overkill to you, maybe examine why.

I hardly need to make the disclaimer that I'm not an expert. I'm a white Latter-day Saint who is taking a few steps into the unknown and, knowing that antiracism isn't a checklist or a self-improvement project, trying to have some sort of a sketch of a plan that I can share with interested friends.

The general format of what follows is: scripture, interpretation, action. Repeated a bunch of times. :) This is going to be a total of 4 posts covering 10 ideas for white Latter-day Saints about combating racism at church and being more inclusive at church.

TL;DR: 
1) Learn the history while fortifying my faith.
2) Actively teach and be inclusive with kids.
3) Attend Black-led events and plan inclusive events.


1) "Seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith"
Don't just start learning, keep learning, and use the best books. Study and pray. Look for everything, not just the easy stuff.

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Action: Assuming that I want to challenge and change the racism in my church, I will continue to learn about my church's racist past and connect it with the Teachings, Attitudes and Perceptions (as mentioned in previous post) that continue today. I will not ignore the hard stuff, but I will also not let it consume me. I will talk with trusted friends and leaders about what I learn.

*For anyone who hasn't already read much on this topic, you might start with Race and the Priesthood, Saints vol 2 (chapters 5, 12, 13, and 39 are particularly relevant), and Healing the Wounds of Racism, all on the Church website. I have more links listed at the bottom of the final post, but if you feel like getting academic about it: I loved David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism for a look at mid-century history that deals with the priesthood and temple ban in depth. A few more that I have either not read yet, or have started but not finished: Decolonizing Mormonism; Religion of a Different Color; Race and the Making of the Mormon People; Mormonism and White Supremacy; and The Book of Mormon for the Least of These.

**If you are worried that you will come across something that will shake your testimony, remember this: lots of things can shake your testimony when you least expect it. Fortify your testimony in the ways that are natural for you. Trust in God. Take the examination of our past at your own pace, while continuing to nurture your own faith in study, prayer, and service. Find trusted friends and leaders to discuss it all with. But don't stop seeking real knowledge, and that includes this real and raw history so that you have a better understanding of why racist teachings, attitudes, and perceptions continue in our church today.


2) "But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another"
This verse directly follows a verse that says we should take care of our kids and teach them not to fight. I imagine that King Benjamin is saying, "OK here are the basics when you're in charge of kids: Keep them fed and clothed. Don't let them fight. And, help them to love each other actively."

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Action: This action for white Latter-day Saints is a two-parter. First part: We will talk about racism with our kids at home AND be actively inclusive at home. (Many people of color provide free resources on this: a few are Here We Read, First Name Basis, The Conscious Kid) And we will discuss racism and inclusivity specifically in the context of the Church. This is not a one-time FHE lesson; this is an ongoing lifelong conversation, that is part of daily interactions as well as sit-down discussions, especially since we're all going to keep learning outside the home too, and bringing home new perspectives with us.

When the 2020 Come Follow Me manual came out and it became clear that a disavowed racist teaching was included, what did you say to your kids in the lesson that week? Did you point it out, and wonder out loud how it might have gotten there? (See also: Teachings, Attitudes, and Perceptions, previous post.) Did you X out that part with a Sharpie, explain that we are still working on overcoming our racism as a church, and talk about how to move forward? If you didn't: consider bringing it up soon as part of a Come Follow Me discussion. If we don't talk about it with our kids, how will they know what we think about it?

In another life, I worked in curriculum editing at the Church Office Building. These manuals take years to produce. Multiple writers, copyeditors, proofreaders, and fact-checkers look at them. Lots of eyes rested on that paragraph before it was published. I wonder if some people thought it might be a problem to include that paragraph, but maybe they didn't say anything for whatever reason. Was this an error? Maybe. But it was an egregious one. And it was also a mistake. People make mistakes. Even leaders do and even prophets do. It's OK to talk about that with our kids. It's necessary to talk about it with them.

Second part: I will actively look for ways for my kids to learn to be inclusive through play at home and at church. Nursery, Primary, and youth programs can all be thoughtfully inclusive, if we try. I will never forget when I was Primary president and a white nursery worker purchased some Black baby dolls for the nursery. There was a little Black girl in our nursery. The nursery worker did not make a big deal about it; she just did it. And the little girl could play with baby dolls who looked like her. And, very importantly, the other kids could play with them too.

I would love it if we purposely had baby dolls of varying races in all of our church nurseries, even if every child in the room is blonde, because young children learn through play. Jesus loves all children of every race, and so do we. Imagine the power of that visual for children. Now imagine a room full of blonde kids holding blonde baby dolls and learning (implicitly--I know no one is saying this in a church nursery) how Jesus loves all the little blonde children. Creepy, right? Which speaks to another related topic which is LDS Art, and Jasmine Bradshaw has a great podcast episode about that.

If you are feeling like it seems like overkill to purchase an array of baby dolls or Barbies for your children, your preschool, or your church nursery: where is that coming from? Interrogate that. You don't have to make a big deal about it. It's okay if you feel silly. Just try it. Be natural about it. The kids may or may not even mention it. If they do, then bam: learning opportunity. If anyone asks about it, you can briefly explain why. "We're trying to be inclusive with the toys because Jesus loves all children of every color, and so do we." If a child says something about the doll that sounds racist, don't get embarrassed or laugh at them. Remember you're the teacher and you are helping this child. Gently talk about the doll in the same way that you've practiced teaching kids about racism in general. Maybe this gets into tricky territory, but if I'm off base about it, I am more than willing to listen. Regardless, make sure the Black dolls are taken care of just as well as the white dolls, especially their hair. (I can't remember where I read this but I thought it was a great point.)


3) "Ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God"
I love this message of unity.

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One of the most stirring Church events I have been to in recent years has been our stake's annual interfaith Christmas devotional. My friend Martha organized beautiful Christmas concerts each year that included a variety of Christian churches, including Black churches and churches with diverse congregations. She attended events at their congregations too. One beauty (of many) of the Black church is music, and music is a universal language. I have never forgotten the spirit I felt in our own stake center with so many people of other faiths worshiping in ways that spoke to all of us.

Action: I will look for interfaith gatherings hosted by various churches (obviously we'll need to put a pin in IRL gatherings for now) and Black-led gatherings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If I am in charge of events in my ward or stake, I will consider visiting nearby churches with a more diverse congregation than ours, getting to know their leadership and members, and inviting them in return to: serve with us, eat with us, sing with us. I will do this in ways that make sense to me--through friends of friends, for example, or through connections I make online or at community events.

Also: Attending protests, rallies, or vigils (or any other community event we are invited to) with Black friends is not a church thing per se, but I think it can be a very holy and certainly a communal experience to spend time in that space where white people are not the leaders or the decision makers.

Black Lives Matter to Christ is "a space to engage with, learn about, and celebrate the stories of Black LDS members in all of their complexities and diversity." There will be a virtual Juneteenth fireside, streaming on the Facebook page this Friday night.

The Black LDS Legacy conference occurs annually on Presidents/Valentines Day weekend at the DC temple visitors center. This is a Black-led, Church-sanctioned physical space, which in Mormonism is somewhat unique and is also so vital. As a white person, if I attend this conference, I'm going in as an observer, a listener, a learner, a supporter. I am not in charge. No one is asking me to speak at the pulpit. I am not offering to speak at the pulpit. What I have to contribute will show up in my future actions and relationships. *If you don't live in DC, you can still join the Facebook group, and you can still watch and listen to previous conferences in the Videos section. Great for a Sunday afternoon while you're making dinner. Or any time.


More soon.

*

Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"

Unspotted from the world (part 1)

Image via Euro News

I'm going to speak from one of my core identities, which is a believing, sincere, committed Latter-day Saint. A white, believing, sincere, committed Latter-day Saint, since that distinction is important here.

The distinction that I am a believing and active member is also important, because a lot of what is out there on this topic comes from people who no longer believe. Certainly still valid voices, but this situation, to me, is not a binary where you're in (and racist) or you're out (and not racist). 

I was thinking about how wanting to keep ourselves unspotted from the world, makes racism extra hard for white LDS people to really wrap our brains around. The violence in particular doesn't compute. Before you judge me too quickly...

In church, in the scriptures even, we are taught not only not to do bad stuff, but also not to associate with it in any way. In today's world, assuming I have the privilege of not seeing actual abuse or violence (a privilege which so far, I do have), then perhaps also I should try avoid seeking the real-life stories about it. Try not to watch it in movies. Try not to read it in novels. Try not to listen to it on the radio. Stay completely separate. Stay completely innocent. Keeping it tame with my media consumption has always been my approach, and generally still is.

This came to mind when I was thinking about one of the most powerful movies I have seen about benevolent racism, and how much it shook me: Get Out. This is a horror movie which is rated R (two things that a "good" Latter-day Saint person should perhaps not partake in, and two things I generally do not partake in). I was hooked as soon as I saw the brilliant trailer--Guess Who's Coming to Dinner with a deep and painful twist--but I know how I am about horror movies, and so I took my time before watching it. I read the plot summary on Wikipedia and the parents' guide on IMDB. And then finally, about a year after it came out, I watched it filtered, with the explicit language and the gore deleted and/or fast-forwarded. (It gets really gory toward the end.) Yes, this was just about the most sanitized way I could participate in this experience. It's OK if you're laughing at me. The intricacies of this movie's metaphors about the "white moderate" (or "white liberal") including white feminists, are so sharp and so true that it hurts, a lot. This review is great: Get Out Deconstructs Racism for White People

Warning: this post contains disturbing images.

Weeeelll, so speaking of explicit language, this is where we get into F-word territory. That's right: Fragility. I have been thinking about how incredibly thin and wobbly the wire is between innocence and ignorance. Do I think we Mormons need to go out and watch horror movies? Or seek out real-life violent situations? No. If I am truly staying unspotted and untouched from all avoidable evil in the world (because it's a slippery slope; I have anxiety and I am obsessive. If I watch one violent movie or see one violent act, I may not be able to get it out of my head), then it might be more difficult for me to believe and to wrap my mind around the notion that evil happened in the real world. It is happening in the real world. And just like the unwelcome images may linger in my mind for years, the unwelcome experiences of violent OR benevolent racism may linger in the minds of my Black brothers and sisters. For life.

"Lay apart all filthiness"
Keep the appalling and disgusting stuff out of your mind and heart. (link is to Lady Day singing "Strange Fruit")

Image via National Memorial for Peace and Justice

"Keep thyself unspotted from the world"
Don't let the unpleasantness of the world linger in you.

Image via Wall Street Journal

"Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly"
Don't dwell on iniquity and vice.

Image via NBC News

"If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."
If it is violent, ugly, or shameful or evil, we do not hold these things in our minds and hearts.

Image via NBC News

OK, so, I've never burned a cross or been to an alt-right rally. I've never attended a lynching. I've never unconstitutionally detained anyone or beaten anyone, and I've never killed anyone. Neither have you. (probably?)

So: assuming that (probably?) many if not most Church members over the centuries but especially in recent decades have not done those things either, although certainly some have: When we talk about racism in the Church (specifically the racist teachings propagated by a century plus-long policy against Black men and women of African descent participating in temple ordinances or being ordained to the priesthood, which ended in 1978)(these racist teachings have been officially disavowed, yet they turned up in a major world-wide lesson manual in 2020), I have personally witnessed a common "not-me" approach: "We are not racist." "That was 40 years ago." "All of America was segregated for most of that time." "The people weren't ready for it yet." Granted, that  not-me attitude is slowly changing. Like, a millimeter at a time changing. But as sheltered as we are, it's sometimes hard for us white Latter-day Saints to see the ways that our racist legacy continues.

If you consider that the Church was founded in 1830, the official policy against Black people participating fully was announced in 1852, and the official revocation of that policy was announced in 1978, here is the math:

22 years of no overt policy against Black members' full fellowship

126 years of an overt policy against Black members' full fellowship

42 years of no overt policy against Black members' full fellowship, plus the relieved confidence of "That's all behind us!"

LDS scholar Marvin Perkins (controversial in his own right, due to a cringey message of colorblindness which can unfortunately overshadow his broader, more helpful message of interpreting "blackness" in scripture as traceable to a Hebrew idiom meaning "gloom") uses this really great graphic, which is somewhat illustrated here:

Image via LDS Living

There's an image of the temple on the far left. There are four brick walls blocking the temple, one labeled Restriction, one labeled Teachings, one labeled Attitudes, and one labeled Perceptions. These "walls" have been up since at least 1852; but let's be real, a few of them were up as early as 1830. The first wall, the one labeled Restriction, was removed in 1978. The other three walls--Teachings, Attitudes, and Perceptions--remain. That "Restriction" wall kept Black Saints literally out of the temple. The other three walls, all of which remain today, in 2020, keep Black Saints metaphorically out of the temple and they keep Saints of all races out of achieving our full purpose of heart, which is to come unto Christ, leaving no one behind.

So I have another post to follow up to this one. Well, I will have another post, once I write it. haha. It includes some seemingly small action ideas for our day-to-day as well as larger long-term ones. The followup post is also inspired by some more scriptures I've been pondering. I'll share just one here, and the rest in the next post:

"And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge"

We need diligence, faith, and definitely virtue, sure sure sure. OK so the big thing we might be missing if we're focusing entirely on the first three, is that last one KNOWLEDGE.

Who knows the most about the Black Latter-day Saint experience? That would be Black Latter-day Saints. Are they a monolith? No. Do they offer a variety of perspectives? Yes. Can we come unto Christ without them--and would we want to? No and no. Is it possible to change our Teachings, Attitudes, and Perceptions about them? Yes. Is it going to hurt? Yes. Is it as simple as one blog post, one announcement, or one invitation? Obviously not.

More soon.

*

Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"

Just some thoughts on resurrection and perfection.

Been a little absent from the blog, busier than usual with work and home stuff. I'm back today.

Now and then I go on Facebook for a few minutes, just to see what I've missed mostly with discussion groups that I belong to. (When I think of the hours and hours I spent in past years getting into arguments on the 'Book... oh heavens... I'm still recovering psychologically)

Anyway on one group I follow on Facebook, Q.Noor Sisterhood, someone posted a question about the afterlife: "We talk about how we will be resurrected to our perfect bodies but what color will our skin be? Will we all be the same color?" I know I know, this could get real racist real fast. Here's where we get into the potential for all kinds of rabbit holes as far as "doctrine" which is really just "interpretation" or "personal opinion." But I thought it was an interesting question and the responses were interesting and thoughtful. The consensus seems to be that everyone will look like they did on earth and that that's a good thing. (Obviously said consensus doesn't actually matter, since none of us actually knows.)

OK so then I went down a personal rabbit hole of reflection--the conversation was also about physical variances and disabilities, not just skin color--and the thought suddenly occurred to me: What if a state of eternal perfection means this: in a perfect world, we are all exactly how we're supposed to be, which will mean endless variety and diversity. What makes it perfect is that we all see and understand each other as God sees us.

"Sure, Eliza, I'm pretty sure I've heard that notion a zillion times before." But specifically I'm thinking about anything biological that we see in each other that makes us put up a roadblock from connecting with that person. That roadblock is our own fault. It doesn't mean the other person needs to be changed. How we look (skin, hair, etc.), how our bodies or limbs are shaped, how our brains work, all of these things are part of us as unique individuals, whether we were born that way or have been changed through surgery (for example organ transplants or gender affirmation or reassignment or whatever you want to call it--sheesh this post is full of rabbit holes!).

Of course we work on earth to change our hearts (our figurative hearts) to become better. I am not excusing any of us from our sins, our actions or our words. Alma 5 comes to mind as the ultimate self-examination of whether we are moving forward to our best possible selves. But I'm talking about physical characteristics, because physical resurrection for all people is central to LDS theology. So: perhaps aside from physical pain (which may come from chronic illness or other disability--although that's another rabbit hole we could go down because what if my own pain is part of who I am? and what if becoming stronger to withstand the pain is more important than eliminating the pain entirely? Mosiah 24:14-15), I wonder if in eternity, everyone's perspective of each other will change so that we see and understand each other as God sees and understands us.

In that case, my son who is autistic won't need to be "healed" of anything. (Plug for neurodiversity :) Perhaps even someone who is completely nonverbal will not need to be "healed" of that, because we will be fluent enough in everyone's communication methods that we will be able to understand each other’s hearts.

I'm not sure how that applies to a condition like blindness or deafness. Hmm. Will need to think on that one for a bit. Especially since I am neither of those things and don't actually have any intimate friends who are blind or deaf, so I can't speak to the experience itself, but I do know that a compromise on one physical sense leads to amplified capabilities of the other senses, which may be a unique gift that the recipient appreciates. OK I don't have an answer for that one. But if in this imaginary framework we did include blindness and deafness, then again, we would be fluent enough across communication styles that we would all be able to understand and appreciate each other.

So setting aside the fact that we need vital organs in order to live, which throws a wrench into my theory about how our bodies will stay the same--I guess vital organs are going to have to be an exception--I think about how much society has progressed in the past few centuries re: whose life is valuable just as it is, and how we have learned through research and experience how to better interact with people with mental and physical disabilities so that they can thrive and contribute just as they are.

OK now I'm thinking about how medication helps me and my son thrive and contribute just as we are... and how medical science helps lots of people thrive and contribute. How does that figure into my theory... rabbit hole #17

But anyway, perhaps in a perfect world which I think is how most of us imagine paradise, heaven or eternity however you want to name it, no one's skin color or body shape will need to be different. No one's limbs will need to be changed. No one's brain will need to be fitted into a "neurotypical" mold. Because the lens that our fellow humans view us with, will be made perfect. We will understand and accept each other. And we will all be free to be who God understands us and accepts us to be.

Lady, running down to the riptide

Ahhhh I feel like I'm swimming in the ocean and the waves keep coming. I just have a lot of stuff I want to accomplish... work, home, relationships, life... and I'm not doing great at prioritizing them. Yet the clock keeps ticking so I guess I'll just jump in wherever.

Anywho. I wanted to take a second and write about something that has been on my mind for quite some time. A while ago, a person I love--who may or may not ever read this and it's fine either way--told me in essence that I projected Mormon Fragility, or perhaps Faith Fragility is a little more catchy. 

To be clear, they didn't say it in those exact words. BUT it was part of a conversation wherein, not long after I was told (not in these exact words) that my purported anti-racism could seem disingenuous because my church is racist, I brought up the topic of "white fragility" in a tangential way, and they compared their view of Mormon apologism (is that a word?) to my view of white fragility.

And I will say, that I rolled my eyes HARD, and said peace out.

And then, as the days and weeks went by, I took that, and I sat with it.

Because doi, obviously I was being fragile.

My name is Eliza and I have participated in Faith Fragility.

The comparison is not completely solid, but bear with me.

I did not fully project the confidence that I thought I felt in my apologism, because I got mad when someone questioned its motives. I did not take the time to sit with it before responding. AND, I did not consider that maybe despite my efforts, maybe I was actually missing something. Maybe there was more to learn—about my attitude, at least.

This person did not use the word "gaslighting" (any more than they used "Mormon Fragility"--again, I'm just interpreting, not quoting) but in a passing conversation about any problematic aspect of church history or contemporary stances, it is easy and INCREDIBLY TEMPTING for me to simplify the problems, because I personally believe that I have done the work of dismantling and disavowing past beliefs and past teachings that are just wrong, and I personally have found connections and insights that bring me peace. Not to mention that after years of swimming through it, it just gets OLD sometimes. 

BUT, if I do that carelessly, and just try to project my own hard-won peace onto a person who feels conflict or anger about the same topic, then it essentially is gaslighting, because dismissal is the impact, no matter my intent.

Look: in defense of my eye-roll. If you know me, or if you even just read this blog, you probably know that I am in the weeds with problematic aspects of my church and have been for years. I know about them, I do not ignore them, and I have wrestled with them. I am also devoted to my personal faith, and I value my identity as an Latter-day Saint, and I have put my time and my money into the church as a vehicle for good and truth that I believe in, and I will continue to do so. 

By the same token, I am also a white person who is in the weeds with my own racism as well as systemic racism. I have been in it for a long time, thanks to some really wonderful friends and family who helped me go down that path many years ago. I have studied and read and listened, and I have spoken up when it was time. Other times I have spoken when I should have listened, and I have stayed quiet when I should have spoken. I think that for most of the times in recent years when I made the wrong choice, I learned from it and tried to do better.

This is all pretty personal and may or may not make sense to anyone. I guess it's mostly for me. I just wanted to work out the feeling itself--to admit to myself that as open and as loving as I believe myself to be, I can also be pretty capital-F Fragile. 

And just like all the times before, I can move forward and do better.

In the cold November rain

November 8, 2016! Hoo boy! I know (or assume) that not everyone reading this wants "anyone but Trump" to win. But, probably a lot of you do. So, if you're interested, I came across this website today, which offers ways to Adopt a State for the November election. I really like this idea and am interested in trying it out. Virginia used to be a red state, then it was purple, now it's pretty much blue, all due to the populous and generally urban northern part of the state. So, my vote in a presidential election "counts" but also doesn't count.

I am intrigued by the thought of calling up people in Arizona, or Florida, or Michigan, or North Carolina, or Wisconsin, or Michigan. I am leaning towards Arizona because I have ties there. Nebulous ties, of course, having to do with my religion (lots of the Mormons live in AZ) and with my longstanding appreciation and admiration for their late senator John McCain.

Anywho. In case you're interested in replacing Trump with someone else in November. (Looks like Joe Biden is the guy, he wasn't my pick in the primaries, but he seems more sane and less sociopathic than Trump, and that is the bar.)

And if you're not interested in that. I'd love to pick your brain. Truly. Because for me it is not about politics anymore. I think I'm already more conservative than I was 4 years ago. Although I lean to the middle-left, I would literally vote for any sitting Republican senator to be the president other than Trump. Well except for Mitch McConnell. But literally anyone else. Hmmm, maybe not Lindsey Graham. Okay okay, there are probably several Republican senators I would not vote for, but there are a LOT that I would vote for! It is really not about policy for me anymore, but about Trump's dismantling of "norms" (that really should have been rules) many of which have to do with personal finances, disclosure of relevant information to the taxpayers, anti-corruption practices, and generally not being shady.

Democrats (well, some Democrats anyway) have learned the hard way that shoving through legislation or Supreme Court nominees or what have you, seems all well and good when you have a sane person in the executive branch, but that precedent of "WHAT I WILL DO ON DAY ONE!" proclaimed by MANY A DEM! has only helped bolster executive power in the worst possible way. I think the Book of Mormon even has some stuff to say about this ("if it were possible that ye could always have mentally stable people to be your presidents it would be well for you to have a president").

NOW, if we can just get JOE BIDEN to KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT. I have been sharing this very sympathetic stuttering story far and wide because I think it accounts for MANY of his public gaffes. But I'm sorry, it does not account for blatant racism! How tone-deaf can you be! Never has he needed a woman of color as his running mate more, than he does now.



And on the "woman" note, believe me, I am following the sexual assault brouhaha too. PRETTY SURE Elizabeth Warren doesn't have any rape accusations brewing, I COULD BE WRONG THOUGH!

ARIZONA! I'LL BE TEXTING YOU!

Yikes

I still think Kavanaugh should have stepped down from his Supreme Court nomination, and I think Ralph Northam should step down from the governor's seat. I mean I voted for the guy, but Yikes.

Not because I don't think Kavanaugh is and will be an impartial judge, or because I don't think Ralph Northam has been and could be an effective governor, but because the only way to stop ignoring shady behavior is to... stop ignoring shady behavior.

When Matt showed me the news about Northam yesterday (the governor of our fine commonwealth if you were unaware), I thought of the scene from Clear and Present Danger where the President's advisers are telling him to cut ties with a friend who was found dead in a drug deal situation, and Harrison Ford the "Boy Scout analyst" disagrees. "If they ask if you were friends, say no, he was a good friend. If they ask if he was a good friend, say no, we were lifelong friends. It would give them no place to go. Nothing to report. No story." (Finding real-life parallels in '90s movies: always winning)(granted, that President ended up being an actual bad guy)

Not only am I surprised that Ed Gillespie's camp didn't find this photo before the election (hello), I'm disappointed that Northam didn't get ahead of the story and apologize before someone published the photo, in effect pulling the Boy Scout/Jack Ryan move of preemptive honesty. Either the stakes were too high or he forgot about the existence of the photo; neither option holds up.

From Janai Nelson of the NAACP: "While we are mindful that youth and young adults can make regrettable mistakes that may merit leniency, this image perpetuates some of the worst hate in our nation's history and undermines the ability of all Virginians--particularly those of color--to have faith in the integrity of their Governor. His failure to proactively own a mistake of this magnitude before it was discovered by others calls into question his ability to credibly lead the diverse people of Virginia. We vehemently condemn racism regardless of the political party of the offender, and Governor Northam is no exception. His apology is insufficient, and we demand his immediate resignation."

From Rep. Eric Swalwell: "No, you can't wear a black face or a white hood and lead a state. Not now and not ever. But we are merciful people. Governor Northam should step down, seek forgiveness, and through good deeds earn the respect of the African-American Community."

Northam stepping down and accepting consequences of something he did as an idiotic young adult and then tried to leave buried, will hopefully be an example to the rest of us about (a) not doing idiotic/offensive things and (b) not taking photos of them.

Thank you, Dr. King

Now, let me say as I move to my conclusion that we've got to give ourselves to this struggle until the end. Nothing would be more tragic than to stop at this point in Memphis. We've got to see it through. And when we have our march, you need to be there. If it means leaving work, if it means leaving school -- be there. Be concerned about your brother. You may not be on strike. But either we go up together, or we go down together.

Let us develop a kind of dangerous unselfishness. One day a man came to Jesus, and he wanted to raise some questions about some vital matters of life. At points he wanted to trick Jesus, and show him that he knew a little more than Jesus knew and throw him off base....

Now that question could have easily ended up in a philosophical and theological debate. But Jesus immediately pulled that question from mid-air, and placed it on a dangerous curve between Jerusalem and Jericho. And he talked about a certain man, who fell among thieves. You remember that a Levite and a priest passed by on the other side. They didn't stop to help him. And finally a man of another race came by. He got down from his beast, decided not to be compassionate by proxy. But he got down with him, administered first aid, and helped the man in need. Jesus ended up saying, this was the good man, this was the great man, because he had the capacity to project the "I" into the "thou," and to be concerned about his brother.

Now you know, we use our imagination a great deal to try to determine why the priest and the Levite didn't stop. At times we say they were busy going to a church meeting, an ecclesiastical gathering, and they had to get on down to Jerusalem so they wouldn't be late for their meeting. At other times we would speculate that there was a religious law that "One who was engaged in religious ceremonials was not to touch a human body twenty-four hours before the ceremony." And every now and then we begin to wonder whether maybe they were not going down to Jerusalem -- or down to Jericho, rather to organize a "Jericho Road Improvement Association." That's a possibility. Maybe they felt that it was better to deal with the problem from the causal root, rather than to get bogged down with an individual effect.

But I'm going to tell you what my imagination tells me. It's possible that those men were afraid. You see, the Jericho road is a dangerous road. I remember when Mrs. King and I were first in Jerusalem. We rented a car and drove from Jerusalem down to Jericho. And as soon as we got on that road, I said to my wife, "I can see why Jesus used this as the setting for his parable." It's a winding, meandering road. It's really conducive for ambushing. You start out in Jerusalem, which is about 1200 miles -- or rather 1200 feet above sea level. And by the time you get down to Jericho, fifteen or twenty minutes later, you're about 2200 feet below sea level. That's a dangerous road. In the days of Jesus it came to be known as the "Bloody Pass." And you know, it's possible that the priest and the Levite looked over that man on the ground and wondered if the robbers were still around. Or it's possible that they felt that the man on the ground was merely faking. And he was acting like he had been robbed and hurt, in order to seize them over there, lure them there for quick and easy seizure. And so the first question that the priest asked -- the first question that the Levite asked was, "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But then the Good Samaritan came by. And he reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"

That's the question before you tonight. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to my job. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers what will happen to all of the hours that I usually spend in my office every day and every week as a pastor?" The question is not, "If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?" The question is, "If I do not stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to them?" That's the question.

Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination. And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge to make America what it ought to be. We have an opportunity to make America a better nation. And I want to thank God, once more, for allowing me to be here with you.

...

Now, it doesn't matter, now. It really doesn't matter what happens now. I left Atlanta this morning, and as we got started on the plane, there were six of us. The pilot said over the public address system, "We are sorry for the delay, but we have Dr. Martin Luther King on the plane. And to be sure that all of the bags were checked, and to be sure that nothing would be wrong with on the plane, we had to check out everything carefully. And we've had the plane protected and guarded all night."

And then I got into Memphis. And some began to say the threats, or talk about the threats that were out. What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers?

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop.

And I don't mind.

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land! 

And so I'm happy, tonight

I'm not worried about anything.

I'm not fearing any man!

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!!

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I’ve Been to the Mountaintop

April 3, 1968

#blacklivesmatter

This summer I finally watched Selma (which is, or was, on Netflix).

I started watching it because I kinda felt like I should. Subconscious "white guilt," maybe. I kept watching it because it was gripping.

This happened 50 years ago: men and women beaten, some killed, for marching peacefully to protest the fact that black people were not allowed to register to vote in Alabama despite their legal right to do so. Children were killed in their own church just for being black. 

I feel like the only real difference today is that there are now millions more in our country who are outraged and saddened when they hear about racist violence (by civilians or police).

My brother is a police officer, and to me, he represents the vast majority of American officers who serve and protect honorably. I love him, respect him, and trust him. I am so thankful for his bravery and for those who have died in the line of duty, having made the ultimate sacrifice.

I feel like I need to say that here so that there's no confusion. I support #blacklivesmatter and I also very much support America's police forces.

Along the same lines, I loved the book The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd. It's about a girl whose parents are slaveowners and she eventually becomes an abolitionist and a suffragist.

How is that along the same lines? you might ask. I guess I recommend this movie and this book to white people who are trying to figure out where they stand in today's civil rights climate. I used to wonder what I would have done if I had lived during the Underground Railroad, or during the civil rights movement. Maybe I still wonder. What would I have done? But I don't have to wonder that, because I can ask myself what will I do now?

What will I do now?

A few months ago (when I initially wrote but didn't publish this post) I listened to President Obama's speech at the police officers' memorial in Dallas. I also recommend that. He quoted the verses in the Bible about softening our hearts. I am still not sure what to do now, but I am working on softening mine.