Polly quotes

Polly quotes are coming fewer and farther between 😭 but I have a few from the past few months.

(Noticing “Mariah Carey” on the car dashboard) “What?! I thought Marie Curie was a scientist, not a singer.”

*** 

“What is today? I mean I know it’s Friday but what ‘the’ is it?”

 (It was “the” tenth of January)

***

Polly: “I don’t like casseroles.”

Me: “You like some casseroles! What about baked ziti?”

Polly: “I don’t like other casseroles, like apple casseroles.”

Me: “Apple casseroles?” 🤔 

Polly: “I don’t know, I feel like that’s a thing.”

Thanks for the primary program

Yesterday was Lars’s final primary program at church. (He’ll be a deacon in January 😇) He gave the last talk of the program. I love this kid. And I love primary programs. Forever and ever. Amen.

Seventh heaven

Every age she turns, I keep thinking it’s the best one. Seven. Seven is the best one.

Some Polly quotes:

(After sitting through extra innings in a very long Nats game)

I don’t even understand the game, I don’t even know what pitches is, I thought they were saying the B-word…

I thought they were called “characters.” (baseball players)

(A house in California)

A old granny probably lives there, cause old grannies have roofs like that. And fancy cars.

(When she was sick and had to miss a friend's birthday party)

I have been waiting this long… FOR NOTHING!

Mom, do poisonous strawberries taste like regular strawberries?

Mom, I don’t think it’s a good idea to dance while you’re holding a knife.

I’m going to eat some of my own skin because I want to know what it tastes like. 🤢 

For the books

Some more Polly quotes for the archive.

“Eating a whole cake doesn’t make everyone sick. My teacher ate one and she feels fine.”

“Our substitute today was a teenager. Well, she looked like a teenager and talked like a teenager.”

“I fell into the creek. [pause] …Well, I was just gently pushing on the ice and it cracked and I fell into the creek.”

“Lars, I think you’re going to be a robber when you grow up, because you’re SO annoying.”

“Mom, this is something that hasn’t happened in a while: my-glasses-losing.”

“Mom, I was looking at the pictures on my bulletin board and it kind of gave me tears because it was a long time ago and it was really fun.”

Bonus quote overheard from Ida:

“Polly, do you know what ‘donating your body to science’ means?” 🤔 

And now a word from my favorite first-grader

It’s been a minute since I shared Polly quotes. Today was her first day of first grade, and she burst in to my room after she got home, yelling “MOM! I LOVED IT!”

Here’s the archive from the past couple of months.

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Mom, are you secretly pregnant?

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Polly: Do you drool when you sleep?

Me: Sometimes.

Polly: I drool every time.

***

Most rock stars have like stripes of white hair. Or they have white hair and it’s really spiky.

***

I don’t need hand sanitizer because I already touched a bunch of Dad’s back.

***

My tongue feels spicy because Lars gave me a Life Saver. I’m worried I might have tetanus or something.

***

Me: There’s a fly in the car. Some kind of New Mexican fly.

Polly: No, that kind of fly is in America too. I saw it.

***

There’s lots of people going on trips these days!

***

It was like, folding out the hurt

***

Mom, was there anyone in secret that was born before Theo?

***

(About to say her bedtime prayer)

(Deep breath)(dissolves into giggles)

I’m just used to saying knock-knock jokes!

***

Hey mom do you want me to say four things that start with B?

***

Bonus, from Theo on our road trip:

Me: “ok guys we’re listening to Beyoncé because she’s from Texas”

Theo: “and because she’s our queen”

Polly wolly doodle all the day

Here are some recent Polly gems.

Me: Do you know what lungs are?

Polly: Is it part of the meat when you kill someone?

Me: ...

.

Polly: (Bing Crosby song comes on the radio) Is this an old-fashioned song? It sounds like it. Back then they had a lot of trumpets.

.

Polly: Why do we have to get molluscum and eczema and warts and sunburns and stuff? Why does it have to be in life?

.

Me: As long as you promise to stay this cute forever.

Polly: We can’t do that! It’s just our body, we can’t stop it.

.

Polly: I’ve never seen grass growing in rocks before. Me: why do you think it grows? Polly: I don’t know. To make the world soft?

.

Polly: (Inspecting algae on rocks in a creek) "is that waterbug snot? It's really slippery."

.

Polly: I had a dream about a really dirty bathroom in like the 90s or 80s? It was really dirty and really small.

.

Polly: You have a long, long mind.

Me: Um... thanks?

Polly: You DO have a long long mind. ’Cause your mind thinks in your brain.

.

Me: Do you want to get in the pool?

Polly: No, I intend to have ice cream.

.

(Asked whether she would ever want to move to California)

Polly: YES!! CALIFORNIA! Wait a minute... What about my pretty bed and all my stuffed animals??

.

Pollyisms:

I’m ta-posed to (I’m supposed to)

Of-cept (except)

.

Polly: Mom I have hiccups, and I prayed for God but they didn’t go away!

.

Polly: Mama? When is it going to be tomorrow?

Fourscore + seven years ago

Just ran across this email exchange while going through old screenshots. It was with a parent of a Sunbeam, AKA the youngest class in church. I was reminding parents about the program the kids were putting on in church, and the Sunbeams were going to sing a song together. The dad suggested jokingly that his 3-year-old sing a solo. Just made me smile. And it made me miss church!!!

P.S. the Sunbeams sang “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam,” and popped up from behind the barrier at the front of the stand every time they sang the word “beam.” It was adorable if I do say so myself. Almost as adorable as it would have been to see little Joey in a top hat reciting the Gettysburg address. 😂

Sweet stage of life

As my other kids did, Polly is increasing in delightfulness the closer she gets to kindergarten. Makes it a little harder to let them go to school all day. She’s really fun right now. Here are some recent quotes.

Me: Ok goodnight!

Polly: Hey mom?

Me: Yes?

...

...

Me: Yes?

...

...

Me: Ok goodnight!

Polly: Hey mom?

Me: Yes?

Polly: Merry Christmas!

Me: Put on leggings or tights, ok?

Polly: Ok because I’m wearing long sleeves.

Me: Good!

Polly: I’m wearing one spongey. I won’t lost it!

(Spongey = scrunchie)

(tantrum) I hate taking pictures with my family! I hate doing things!

(Sofia the First doll she got at the hospital after getting stitches) It’s so cute! It makes my eyes happy.

(While looking at a photo) Mom, was this in the 60s or 90s?

(Muffled voice, hiding in a closet) Where is me?

(Searching through her dresser drawers) Do I still have that gray skirt? Maybe it’s in the storage room. I think it growed out of me.

(Sitting on the kitchen counter with her feet in the sink, in a saucepan full of water) Ahh, a nice soak. It couldn’t get any better!

Polly pocket

Some updates from the Polly archives from the past few months.

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Polly was upset about how I did her hair, and she went outside our bedroom door to sit and cry. I heard her say, "I really didn't want this to happen... this is, like, the worstest day."

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Polly: Dad loves popcorn. Yeah he loves alcohol, and popcorn, and vegetables...

Me: I think you mean soda, not alcohol.

Polly: Yes he loves soda. Alcohol is yucky. Well, it’s yucky for us.

***

Me, to Ida (as I cleaned out Theo’s backpack and kept exclaiming how disgusting it was): I’m sorry for complaining. I love Theo. It’s not his fault he lacks executive functioning skills.

Polly: Theo’s a good boy, but he never cleans his pack-pack. Only you do.

***

Me: Hey Polly, can I eat you up?

Polly: EWWWW! No, that’s “gisgusting,” I have poop in me!

***

Me: Your feet are getting so big! Because you’re growing 

Polly: Yep! But I still need... little chairs.

***

Polly: Mrs. Sahab’s girl-son likes me.

Me: you mean her daughter?

Polly: yes, her daughter.

***

Polly: Ida, give it to me!

Ida: what’s the magic word?

Polly: Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, can you give it to me?

***

After learning the symbolism of the sacrament (bread & water)

Polly: I think that’s why Theo always eats toast.

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Polly, to me: I wish I could sleep on your tummy, because it’s so cute and so warm.

***

I helped Polly take off a shirt with an extra tight neck, which caught on her ears for a second. Afterward, covering her ears she said:

“I don’t want these to disappear, because Jesus made me.”

***

Polly, carrying a blanket:

Mom, can you please fold this, gently?

From the archives

In case you needed more Polly in your life. (DUH, who doesn’t)

It’s been awhile since I posted archival quotes. Here are a few Polly gems.

...

Matt: Do you know how to work the CD player?

Polly: I don’t. Because I’m not a daddy.

...

Polly words:

“Tasty” (means it tastes bad or spicy)

“Eskited” (excited)

“Disdusting” (disgusting)

“Sungle” (this is a Polly classic since as long as I can remember. Means snuggle)

...

I can feel my skin and it keeps me warm!

...

Mom, what if you hitted a bad guy, and put some water on him, and a BUNCH of towels?

...

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Mom, and she grew up and married a prince named Dad. And they lived in a blue castle- but it was pink, because she liked pink.

...

Bones don’t have hair. Yeah, they’re just bald.

...

I can’t actually snore. I can’t. I can just sneeze.

...

There’s two teachers at lunch lunch, and they’re big, and they’re girls, and they’re humans. But they’re not my teachers.

[lunch lunch = lunch bunch]

...

I heared your heart-beep.

...

Polly: Pears grow on trees, and carrots grow on trees.

Me: no, carrots grow in the ground.

Polly: NO! You’re tricking me carrots grow on TREES!

...

(Hugs on Friday morning after being reunited with Polly—I work late on Thursdays)

Me: I missed you yesterday! What did you do?

Polly: (long pause) ...Wait, which day are you talking about?

Lars in May and June

Some recent Lars quotes:

"Camryn, you can choose the movie because you're the visitor. But don't choose a girl movie, because I don't like girl movies. But I do like Sleeping Beauty, so choose that one."

...

"Mom, with vegetables, is it the grosser they get the healthier they get?"

...

Lars- "What day is it?"

Ida- "It's Tuesday."

Lars- "Oh yay, I love Tuesdays!"

...

"They should have put a door here when they built our house. Wait- did they build it, or did Heavenly Father create it?"

Lars Lars Lars Yeah

You haven't lived until you've spent a day or two with Larsy-bones.

Photo by Marissa

Some recent quotes-

"We don't want Polly to get tooken away by witches! ... Because we're not going to grow ANY more babies."

"That tickled my foots very well!"

Reveling in his piece of banana bread straight from the oven 

"I wish I could sleep on this! Because it's so warm."

"We're not getting any more babies. So Polly won't see anything cute. Well she will...if she sees other babies that are her same age."

(We've established that Polly is most likely our last baby, and this notion is an endless topic of discussion among the older kids. Lars regularly asks me if we can have another one anyway.)

"You love everyone in the whole universe, mom! Well, except the people in that yucky store that sells junk."

Me- "What store is that?"

"Hooters!"

"Mom, jam is the jam jar's blood."

Photo by Alisha

The important thing about Theo.

I finally got around to going through Theo's school backpack. I quite enjoyed this lengthy journal entry from September about his future plans to be a Hotel Keeper.

I think he'd be a pretty good Hotel Keeper. And certainly a thorough one.

What about--?

(Church nap)

For the past 6 months or so, Lars has been really into hypotheticals (as we have dubbed them). He's very curious about "what would happen if... [whatever scenario]." But instead of saying "what if" he says "what about." Some are more plausible than others.

He spouts these off all the time but I only have a few written down. Behold the mind of Lars...

-"What about all the cars in the world didn't work and the kids could cross the street by their self?"

-"What about a kid was a girl and grew up to be a man?"

-"What about a plane didn't have seat belts and the plane flew upside down and all the people fell out?"

-"What about Santa didn't come at night?"

-"What about there was a girl named April and her birthday was in April?"

-"What about snow goed up, not down?"

-"What about the moon was the sun and the sun was the moon?"

(Which reminds me of an old favorite Ida quote when she was about the same age as Lars is now: "What if we could put the moon in a bag and carry it down to earth? We could use it as a doormat. But we'd have to tape it down so it doesn't float back up to the sky.")

And now, a word from my sidekick.

12-24-14

Lars: I think Jesus is in your belly, Mom.

1-7-15

Lars: [laughing hysterically]

Theo: what's so funny, Lars?

Lars: Butts!

1-8-15

Me: A lot of people are coming for Theo's baptism. Grandma and Grandpa from Utah, Grandma and Grandpa from California, Uncle Jeff and Aunt Deb, Hannah and Robbie and Rhoda...

Lars (furrowed brow): We might not have that much parking spots.

Me: That's right, we'll have to figure out where everyone is going to park.

Lars: They can probably park in the road.

Me: Yeah, good idea.

1-21-15

Lars: [looking out at the snow as the flakes got bigger and bigger] Mom, look, the snowflakes are growing up!

2-25-15

Lars: Goodnight! Sweet dreams! Don't let the... the bug mice... uh, wake you up.

Out and about

I don't know why this made me laugh so much when I saw it on the road yesterday. It's just so intense. This lady just feels really, really strongly about having voter ID laws. So strongly that she thinks about it every day. Don't tread on her, and don't show up to vote without a photo ID.

It's fun to live in a "battleground state." (Well...for those of us with photo IDs anyway. /cringe) These most recent midterm elections saw a big fight between the incumbent senator Mark Warner and his Republican challenger, Ed Gillespie. In the end, the vote was practically split 50-50. Warner won with like 5 votes. (Okay, probably closer to 5,000.) Pretty much every election, even at the national and state levels, I've felt like my vote mattered, and not just symbolically. It's fun.

Side note, "don't tread on me" actually always reminds me of Meg's joke at the dance in "Little Women." Anyone?

Thanks for the laughs.

Whoopsies. I almost made it the whole month without missing a day! Here's yesterday's.

Side note- all of a sudden this year Theo notices the cold. I swear he never did in the past. Now he puts on a coat, mittens, hat, and a scarf over half his face if it's 40 degrees outside. Whereas Lars can hardly be persuaded to put a hoodie on if it's 30.

I keep a running list on my phone of the funny things my kids say. Since school started, though, I only have lines from Lars. But all of the kids are funny. I'm thankful that they all make me laugh every day.

****

Lars: This is salt.

Me: Ok.

Lars: See it says "salt" on it. "E-O-G."

Me: That spells salt?

Lars: Yes. Actually no it says "F-O-G." That spells "salt and pepper."

****

Practicing Halloween etiquette

Me: what do you say to get candy?

Lars: Ribbit.

(He was dressed as a frog at the time)

****

Lars: Look at the balloons! What color is the blue one?

****

Lars: Read me this book.

Me: That book is kinda for big kids.

Lars: But I'm a big kid.

Me: That's true, you are getting big. How big are you?

Lars: About...seven minutes away.

****

Lars: The things that look like octopuses--or the things that look like hexagons--say "stop."

Me: You mean octagons?

Lars: Right.

Daily dose of Lars

Lars is a double edged sword. He's full of life and energy and happiness. He always entertains me and anyone he's with. But he's not always great at entertaining himself. After Theo and Ida leave for school in the morning it's pretty much "Mom will you play blocks with me?" "Mom can I play on your iPad?" "Mom can I watch a movie?" "Mom will you read to me?" Which is great and I do those things (although iPad and movies are only allowed while I'm in the shower or occasionally in the afternoon) but sometimes I have other stuff to do. It perplexes me how to get him to play on his own at home, which Theo and Ida were always pretty good at.

One thing I will give him: he's fantastic on errands, if it's just him and me. In fact he much prefers running errands over staying at home if no other kids are there. He even likes the grocery store and the mall and will sit in the cart or stroller for hours, just taking it all in and telling me about what he sees. But at home he's always like "So what happens next?" And the daily institution of afternoon quiet time, which my older kids happily submitted to, is always a battle with Lars.

Usually when he starts in on the requests I give him options of things to do (eg, "either play in your room or clean up your room"; or, "if you want to watch a movie then first you have to play outside on your scooter while wearing your helmet")(he loves to scoot but is not a fan of the helmet) and after some initial resistance/whining/etc he gives in. 

I was shocked yesterday, when I told him he could do the dishes if he was bored, that he actually went in and did the dishes. He unloaded the entire dishwasher, put the clean dishes away and then loaded it with dirty dishes. I could have cried, and almost did. This is the happy flip side of a third child who doesn't know how to play alone because he's used to playing with older kids. He knows how to do the dishes, because he's used to watching older kids and helping them do their chores.

Anyway. Lars is awesome. Frustrating sometimes; awesome all the time.

Some sound bites

--

8/28

Theo- I'm excited for the football game.

Lars- me too.

Theo- You're not going, Lars.

Lars- I know. I'm just excited of it.

--

8/28

Theo- if you swallow an apple seed you'll turn into an apple.

Lars- no I won't.

Theo- If you have a fever and swallow an apple seed you'll turn into a POISON apple.

Lars- (stunned silence)

--

9/2

Lars- I'm going to turn all the people in my preschool class into strawberries and I'm going to eat them.

Me- Really.

Lars- Yes, I'm going to wash them and eat them all.

--

9/3

Lars- Mom, can you play blocks with me when you're done playing yoga?

--

9/8

Lars- Mom can I have some of your water?

Me- sorry, I have a cold. My water bottle has germs in it.

Lars- But I'm just not going to drink the germs. I'll just drink the water.

--

9/9

(In the car)

Lars- Let's listen to ABBA.

Me- (incredulously) ...What? ...Really? I'll happily play ABBA.

Lars- So play it then!

--

I hadn't listened to ABBA in probably weeks and didn't know he even knew who they were. I laughed so hard. And was so proud. Can you hear the drums, Fernandoooo....

Just thinking out loud

Ida:

See these eggs? We got them from the farm. So they're real chicken eggs. We can't let them get warm or they will hatch and turn into chicks.

Theo:

Then we'd have to sell them back to a farm.

Ida:

Then the farmer would kill them.

Theo:

Yeah.

**********

Ida:

Hey Mom -- so, any time someone wanted to sing a pop song they would have to ask Michael Jackson? Because he was the king of pop songs?

**********

Lars:

Look, another ant!

Theo:

An ant, where?!

Ida:

Kill it!

Lars:

....No, it's not a ant. It's just a table.

Goofballs

Theo "I'm OK, I'm just hicking up a little bit."

>>>

Theo "Let's go outside."

Lars "Why?"

Theo "So we can look at the beautiful day."

>>>

Me "You're my precious little flower who smells like sunshine."

Ida "No I'm not!"

Me "OK, you're my little treasure box full of gold and jewels."

Ida "No, I'm not! I'm Darth Vader!"

I don't know why I don't have any other Ida quotes at the moment. But there are lots of them. She's exploding with curiosity and ideas at this age. I need to remember to write them down. 

She loves being told at night before bed how precious she is, though...in great detail...and then denying it. E.g. a perfect little yellow daffodil...or a treasure chest under the sea...or a heart made out of glitter...or a shining rainbow in the sky. "You're my furry little baby rabbit with tiny whiskers and a pink nose." "No I'm not!" "You're my sticky little candy cane." "No I'm not! I'm Spiderman!"

>>>

Lars was being sassy one day...as he is wont to do.

Me "Don't you talk to your mama like that! How do you talk to me?"

Lars "With a voice."

>>>

Lars "Mama, can you get the cold out of my hands?"

I'm sorry, son...no. I cannot. For it is the endless winter.

(not anymore though! yay spring)

>>>

I looked outside one afternoon while Theo and Lars were playing. Apparently they were playing hide and seek, because Lars was hiding his eyes behind his chubby little hands and yelling something. I opened the window and caught the end of it, "...twenty-eight, twenty-nine, twenty-ten, twenty-nine, twenty-ten, twenty eleven. Here I come!"

>>>

Thank you very much, goodnight everybody!