One of the best days of my life

The night before my kids' birthdays, I have a tradition (I'd say I keep it up maybe... 90% of the time?) where I go into their rooms before they fall asleep and tell them the story of their birth. I don't know if they all love it, but I do know that when I went in and started telling Lars his birth story last night, Theo sat up and said "This is my favorite thing!" He also loves watching the birthday videos I used to make for them (tagged in this blog under "birthday babies").

So anyway, Lars was due on June 14, which was a Tuesday. I was in charge of a large children's choir that performed in our stake conference (a stake is several wards or congregations, and we all meet together twice a year) on June 12. I wanted so badly for my baby to hang on until after the choir performance. We had a few Saturday practices, and the kids sounded SO good in our practices. They sang "If the Savior Stood Beside Me," "We'll Bring the World His Truth," and a medley of "Called to Serve" and "I Will Be Valiant." Anyway, so on Saturday, June 11, I came home from our morning rehearsal and flopped on the couch. I was SO tired. I don't remember what else I did that day, but I think I mostly stayed on the couch because I was so determined not to go into labor!

I woke up at 5:00 a.m. on Sunday, June 12, with some serious contractions. I knew, I KNEW today was going to be the day. I got up, showered, got dressed, walked around, swayed back and forth. I went to the stake center. Contractions kept coming. The kids sang their song. It was so good. I honestly can't remember if the contractions stopped during the performance or if I just breathed through them. But for the remainder of the conference, I walked the halls of the stake center, because it hurt to much to stay seated.

We went home, had lunch, I cut out bunting triangles for the kids' rooms while watching Charlotte's Web with the kids. Later, I watched Matchstick Men by myself while cutting out bunting. We called Hannah and Robbie, who were going to come for dinner, and let them know that I might be going to the hospital at some point and to pack a bag (to stay with Theo and Ida) just in case.

Matt made dinner. It was chicken in a creamy mustard sauce, a recipe that I loved (and still love)(Why do I remember what we ate for dinner that day?... funny) but could barely choke down. I excused myself and went to Ida's room to try to get through some contractions without everyone looking at me.

Eventually I told Matt, "Yep, this is it." At which point he and I went upstairs, leaving Hannah and Robbie to put the kids to bed.

My doula, Nicole, came over. She helped me into the shower. She convinced me to walk around and rock my hips in circles, while all I wanted to do was lie on my side and cry (which is what I did during most of Ida's labor). Finally around 9 p.m. we left for the hospital. We took Nicole's car, which I think Matt drove, while Nicole sat in the backseat with me. (I could be wrong about that.) It was a 30-minute drive. We got to the hospital, checked in, went to triage. My doctor was in Fredericksburg at a family reunion. I got put in a delivery room. Lars was born at 10:35 p.m., an hour after we had checked in and about 10 minutes after the doctor arrived. Matt caught him. He put Lars on my chest, and I can see this visual better than almost any visual memory in my memory bank: Lars opened his left eye (right eye squeezed shut) and screamed in my face.

Once we got all cleaned up and settled in a recovery room, I was starved. I had barely eaten all day. It was probably midnight by then, and every restaurant nearby (in Leesburg, which is kinda boonies-ish) was closed. The hospital cafeteria was closed too. A nurse found me an American cheese sandwich that was in a bag somewhere, honestly I don't know where it was from but it was so bad and so dry. I barely slept that night. We knew his name would be Lars, it was our top name, although Linus was a close second choice.

Oh, that was such a good day!

Polly Pocket

 

Just a little photo update of the past few weeks. Lots of Polly. Just like always!

Thanks for a good day.

My kids didn’t have school on Monday or Tuesday. Combine that with our Utah trip and they basically had a “12-day weekend.” I had some trepidation about these additional days off, but they ended up being lovely. The kids played outside (even in the rain) and they played inside (for hours and hours doing who knows what but it was apparently in a dystopian setting), they helped with household chores, they came with me to Ikea and behaved beautifully, and I suspect that all of that loveliness is what gave me the strength to make an actual dinner last night, complete with vegetables AND breakable dishes. Every day is not like this. Usually we’re busier or fighting more or stressing out more. But that makes it and its memory that much sweeter.

August Sunday, take 2

Me in sacrament meeting. Up close and personal photo by Lars

Polly on the floor during the second and third hours of church. She was out like a light.

Ok it’s Sunday again and today was a good day! A few things were different...

-I didn’t play the organ or the piano

-I slept 11 hrs last night (how, I don’t know. Tinder mercies)

-No meetings this morning

-I ate lunch

-I drank like three bottles of water

-I had a Dr Pepper before church

-my period is over. (Matthew thinks this bullet point is the most important one)

-Then for dinner, Matt made spaghetti and served it on paper plates, so, ridiculously easy cleanup for a ridiculously stress-free Sunday night. VOILA!

I feel SO much better right now than I did exactly one week ago. The one potential downside is that i rarely have caffeine, so whenever I do I’m up late. So that might not be good.

Sidebar, Polly saw me break out the DP which i normally only drink when i have a headache. She insisted “mom i have a headache so can i have some of your soda for a sen-cond?”

Second sidebar, Polly pronounces second, “sen-cond.” She also pronounces “use” “ooze,” and I regularly get the question from her, “Can I ooze this for a sen-cond?” I want to put it on video and also put 3-year-old Polly in my pocket, forever and ever.

So, we’ll see if I can sleep tonight. Maybe I should pop in another episode of the Ken Burns Vietnam war documentary, I mean it’s really good but I have fallen asleep ev-e-ray time that I have attempted watching it.

A calm moment

A motherhood moment--

6:37 pm
Tonight's soccer practice was canceled because of rain
Ida and Theo made dinner (noodles and zoodles, a Wednesday night staple) and then sort of cleaned up the kitchen (did a passable job)
So now,
Theo is practicing the piano
Ida is organizing her desk
Lars is sitting at the kitchen table listening to the Book of Mormon on my iPhone (?)(shrug)(I'll take it!)
Polly is standing on the chair behind me putting various clips in my hair
I am catching up on housekeeping (things like swim team emails and figuring out my budget) using my new computer

Not every evening is so industrious and calm... in fact my evenings rarely are. But it is so nice when they are!

Snow and other stuff.

Well, I just wrote an entire post about periods, which I then didn't publish because I wasn't sure if it was oversharing. (OK, I knew it was oversharing.) Suffice it to say that periods are back in my life after 2+ years off; Ida learned about them recently and she was horrified and fascinated; and I have entered the 21st century in terms of period management. (Loving my app which sends both me and Matt notifications when PMS is on the horizon) Also I'm trying not to think about how I have a good 20ish more years minimum of this.

Anywho, this is one of my favorite pictures of my kids. It was going to be my Christmas card in 2013--I think I even went as far as designing it, but not printing it. Matt and I were just discussing how the rest of the country is getting snow and we've got nothin'. Just 2 measly inches back in early January. I really want one big snow like we had last year. Last year was perfect, actually. We got like 3 feet of snow at once, which lasted for three or four fun days of sledding, and then it all melted within 2 weeks--literally. And that was the only real big snowfall. It was a perfect winter of snow, in my opinion.

But oh well.

This is turning out to be a really complainy post and I really didn't intend that. I am feeling great on my version of Whole 30, which has evolved to include whole grains, legumes, and the very occasional dairy or sugar. The best thing is the massive amounts of greens I am eating, which I know is going to be hard to keep up in the long run, because I just don't like them. But when I make myself eat them, I feel so much better.

I am also just feeling very happy in general lately. I'm not sure if it's my hormones settling down, or if it's because I'm eating better, or if it's because I'm reading the scriptures every day. Maybe all of those things. Maybe it's because I have so much to be thankful for. Maybe it's because I take antidepressants and vitamin C. Maybe it's hormones. Maybe it's because we got a new bed for Christmas. Maybe it's because after several weeks of inexplicable grumpiness and volatility (truly inexplicable, or are the holidays just hard for him? Pondering that), Theo seems to be in a decent mood. Maybe it's because after several weeks of everyone taking turns being sick, everyone at my house is healthy, minus Polly's current snotty nose. Maybe it's because besides flus and colds, everyone at my house is healthy in general. Maybe it's because the women's marches left me feeling hopeful, even though the whole abortion discussion is rearing its ugly head. (P.S. I have an abortion post brewing. I know you're dying to read it. I have lots and lots of thoughts on this. They may surprise you. "This Woman's Views on Abortion May Surprise You") Maybe it's because I love being Primary president so much. Maybe it's because I am keeping busy with mostly good things.

Maybe!

Toddling

I wanted to send a pic of Polly in this dress to my mom, who sent her the dress. But Polly (newly awake from her nap) was not happy about being put down.

I realize the photos are blurry but I don't mind. Looking back at moments like these with my sweet tiny 17-lb babe (who toddles all over the house now, like she owns the place) just makes me happy to be alive. Life is good.

April foolsies

A couple of weeks ago, the power went out in the early morning. We found out through the grapevine that it was a transformer that blew at my kids' school, which is across the street from our house. School ended up being canceled.

The best part of this, by the way, is that the principal didn't send out any info about it for awhile because they didn't know when the power would go back online... So rumors (propagated by those of us who live near the school) were flying among the informal network of emailing moms. It happened to be April Fool's Day and one of my friends heard the rumor but put her kids on the bus anyway, thinking it was an elaborate April Fool's joke. I got a kick out of that.

Within a few hours they had officially canceled school and sent home all the remaining kids whose parents were able (and willing ;) to pick them up.

After I sent a few headlamp selfies to Matt (very much to his chagrin... he's not a fan of selfies... I don't understand why not)

Our power came back on. (The school's did not.) I let the kids play video games while Polly napped. AND THEN...

We took advantage of the most beeee-utiful day by spending the afternoon at Burke Lake.

One-half of an actual second after I took this picture, all three kids fell off that log into the water. Glad I didn't let Polly in that shot.

Theo was a handful all day. He gets that way when his routine is messed up. Bleeeeeeeea!!! Sure love him though.

Get a load of this weather report. Way to conform to stereotypes, April!

Wonder

No school today, so we finally made it to the exhibit "Wonder" at the Smithsonian's Renwick Gallery.

I thought about bringing my real camera (this exhibit's shtick is "take photos! Hashtag Renwick!") and then I realized that keeping track of four kids plus taking photos would be a joke. And I was right. I didn't even get any photos of our favorite installations. Theo's favorite was the one where you can lie on the floor. (Shocking) Lars's favorite was the mountains of index cards. Ida's favorite was the maze made out of bits of old tires. Polly's favorite was the LED chandelier above the steps. My favorite was the Gabriel Dawes rainbow thing. He has a similar piece at BYU's MOA which we saw in December. 

But despite the lack of photographic evidence, we went, we saw and we loved it. And, Theo touched everything. Also shocking! So anyway, if you haven't been, you can look here - http://americanart.si.edu/exhibitions/online/wonder/ (or #renwickgallery on Instagram).

Nice random ladies kept offering to take our picture. It was pretty crowded in there, not bad but definitely busy. This is how Polly spent most of our visit: leaning backwards out of the ergo to get a better view.

See what I mean?

I liked this.

And speaking of marveling, check out that sky. DC was beautiful today.

It seemed like there was a lot of extra security around the White House this afternoon. Maybe I just haven't been in a while. We got to see a motorcade heading out of the gates so that was fun. Maybe it was the Barry man himself.

I never get tired of this city.

You're as cold as ice

Before and during "Winter Storm Jonas," aka "The Blizzard," aka "Snowzilla," aka "Make Winter Great Again," aka "The Winter Awakens," Matt and I both checked Twitter a lot for the latest weather reports. I can't help myself, I'm a Capital Weather Gang junkie. I obsessively check them for updates whenever there's a weather event. Not only do I feel In The Know, I also get to enjoy photos of, for instance, AT-ATs cruising down Main Street in Bethesda.

This was the view out my window on Saturday afternoon

In between checking Twitter, I found various Snow Day playlists on Spotify

Theo and Max built a snow fort using the snow brick molds I got Theo for his birthday-- I must say, said brick molds proved quite useful

I walked around in the blizzard feeling super proud of myself that for the first time in 15 snowy winters, I actually have waterproof clothes and shoes and I wasn't even cold. Ida and I made snow angels. Multiple ones! I stayed out there for like 2 hours and only came in because I could tell the older kids didn't really want me around. Hahaha...haha....ha.

The snow went up past my knees.

This was Saturday night before I went to bed. Snow was still coming down.

Sunday dawned blue and bright and happy. Our neighbor brought out cookies and hot chocolate, and various neighbors chatted and ate and drank and shoveled while the kids sledded and ran around. It was nice.

Polly took her first sled rides with Theo and Ida.

Church was canceled so we had our own sacrament meeting at home. Matt made a delicious pot roast after he came in from shoveling. He worked hard today. The big kids played hard today. I carried the baby around and ate my neighbor's cookies, and that's pretty much what I accomplished today. It was a very good day.

Tonight

Tonight my heart is full.

"...and also our lives passed away as if it were unto us a dream." - Jacob 7:26