Thanks for the movies

Don’t you love Thanksgiving break? We’ve watched a movie as a family every night so far: Black Panther, Wakanda Forever, Spirited, and Enola Holmes. I’ll admit it’s a job to get the boys on board with watching something that’s “family-friendly” (aka Polly-friendly) but they’ve rallied. 😂😅 I figure two nights of Marvel violence followed by two nights of PGish comedy/drama: seems fair??

It's possible, pig.

I find myself saying this. All the time. There are just so many applications.

That's my secret.

I'm now 3 months into my no-yelling project and I think it's going pretty well. Unfortunately I did yell last week. Maybe I shouldn't admit this but I felt really good after yelling. But I knew it wasn't going to be a lasting kind of good feeling, and it wasn't. I apologized and everyone got a dollar and I think they all forgave me. And I reminded them that I hadn't yelled in 3 months, so maybe that helped?

Want to know the hardest part about the no-yelling project? Theo didn't get the memo. When someone yells at me every day it's hard not to break down and yell back. But I don't (usually). I think he's improved if for no other reason that I no longer yell back so it can't last as long. But then some days it seems like he hasn't, since I'm not yelling back, so although I'm actively trying to get him to chill, I'm still more of an observer and it seems like it's taking forever and I'm like "when is this child going to stop yelling already?"

I'm not going to recommend watching the movie "Looper" because it's pretty violent, but if you can get an edited version or just watch the ending, the last like 5-10 minutes of the movie were so important to me. I searched on YouTube and couldn't find the scene I'm thinking of, but basically there's this telekinetic child, Cid, about 5 years old, who has a major temper and when he gets mad, well, you don't want to be nearby because everything will explode and you'll be dead. Even his own mother, Sara, locks herself into a safe when he gets angry. In the final scene, he's out in a cornfield causing all kinds of destruction, and, as shrapnel swirls around in slow-mo, his mother puts herself directly in his vision, locks eyes with him and helps him calm down. And of course implicitly changes the course of the entire world by doing so (thanks, time travel). I read this in an online review:

"I believe it was Winnicott who wrote that a parent’s hardest and most important job was to withstand her child’s hatred, in order for the child to understand that he is loved and worthy of love regardless of how angry he might get at his parent. Sara and Cid essentially play out this process. Cid’s telekinetic anger is terrifying, and Sara hides herself from it in a metal safe: she cannot face her child’s hatred just yet, although she does comfort him after his bout of rage has subsided. But in the film’s final sequence, when Cid has lost control of himself and put both his mother and Old Joe at risk, she looks at him and whispers, 'It’s okay. It’s okay. Mommy loves you.' The rest of the sound fades out, and Cid’s rage subsides."

Matt and I worry a little about Ida because she is often either a direct or a collateral object in Theo's path of anger, and although she's very smart and compassionate and I think "gets it" in a way most 4-year-olds might not, it's just not fair to her. I often discuss with the kids that Theo is learning how to control his temper, like I had to do when I was a kid, and that Ida can help him because she loves him, even though it might not seem fair. I don't want this burden to get too heavy for her so I want to give her permission to get angry back and to defend herself, but other times hopefully she can continue to support him and show love for him, since that's the main thing we are working towards.

On a lighter note, one of my favorite movie scenes ever was this line from The Hulk in last year's Avengers movie:

 

Did anyone else get chills in that scene? Mark Ruffalo is so great, first of all, and secondly the line just clicked with me. I so identify with that because I'm calm, and I always want to be calm, but I'm also angry more often than I want to admit. I generally make good choices and I want to be good, but I also want to make bad choices more often than I want to admit. And sometimes I lose it and go for the bad choice.

Anyway. I have figured out that I can't just be calm 100% of the time because when provoked, sometimes I have to "let it out" somehow. I just don't want to let it out on anyone. Running daily helps in a maintenance sort of way, but I would love ideas of how to "let it out" situationally without hurting anyone. You know, when you're SO frustrated and no one's doing you any favors but you really don't want to make it worse. The Orange Rhino suggests yelling into the toilet. I think that's the grossest thing I've ever heard. Any ideas? Worst case scenario maybe I can go dance it out! Maybe I should teach Theo to go dance it out. Minus the smoking and beer drinking.

 

That's right, woodchuck chuckers!

I hope you had a lovely Groundhog Day.

I've seen this movie maybe...20 times? and every time I love it more. I love the progression of Phil Connors' character and how he grows to really love Rita and does what it takes to become good enough for her. So awesome. It's much deeper than it seems, Billy Murray haters!

This Is Halloween

Some Halloween favorites I'm excited to share with my kids this year:

Last October I had progesterone poisoning and my kids were not at all enthusiastic about Halloween. Theo even refused to dress up (I did manage to wrestle Ida into her old butterfly costume). So it wasn't really that fun. This year, no morning sickness, and my kids cannot believe their luck...they get to dress up in costumes, get tons of candy, and carve pumpkins. For some reason it wasn't appealing in past years but it is the main topic of conversation now. Needless to say we are all looking forward to Halloween this year.

Does he have to use the word "poopy"?

A reminder about that oft-neglected holiday (yesterday if you forgot) that brightens the darkest of winters each February: I decided I needed a label for posts about the movie Groundhog Day.

Yeah. Yep, I do.

"You speak French." "Oui."

(I love the pause at 1:50 before he whispers, "amen")

Outside it may be raining, but in here it's entertaining!

I watched Moulin Rouge! the other night for the first time in several years. I had had a bad day and upon surveying my DVD titles I decided it was pretty much the most escapist movie I own.

It was as lush and goofy as I remembered (minus the teary tuberculosis parts) with lots of good lines I had forgotten about. I used to watch this movie all the time in college. There are a few over-the-top images I would probably edit out if I could, but otherwise it's practically a family classic (minus a few topical details such as the main storyline). Now it's time to re-watch Strictly Ballroom and Romeo and Juliet...and to see Australia, which I never ended up seeing in the theater because it came out right after Ida was born, plus Matt isn't as big of a Baz fan.

After it ended I read all the credits, stretching out my escape from reality I guess. Ozzy Osbourne is listed as the voice of the Green Fairy, which is actually of course Kylie Minogue. I found that very amusing. Apparently he does do her voice at the part where she turns evil and screams. According to what I read online the Green Fairy was originally going to be a glowy-eyed, sitar-playing old man with Ozzy's voice. So, the proofreader in charge of the credits must have gotten distracted or something.

This post is totally boring and kinda going nowhere. Just wanted to share that it turns out I still like Baz movies.

Speaking of escape from reality. I'm going to get out of bed and join the living downstairs, where my mom has gotten up with the kids and from what my olfactory nerve can deduce is now feeding them pancakes. My parents are here visiting all week, and Matt, Hannah, and Robbie all have a 4-day weekend coming up. Thanksgiving indeed!

The Snowman

We checked out the book The Snowman at the library a while back and the kids LOVE it. The Snowman was such a part of my childhood...although not really the book, more the stuffed toy and the video and the soundtrack on LP. I realized while looking through the book with the kids that I didn't really remember ever reading it. There are a few key differences--they don't meet other snowmen in the book, for instance, or get sprayed by a whale.

So I told the kids that I have a Snowman video we could watch and they got excited. I got excited too until I realized that I lost it in the move. I don't think I lost it lost it, but I have no idea where it could be. Sad. I got rid of most of my VHS tapes a long time ago but was sure I had kept this one. Maybe it's in with my Christmas decorations...

It's not technically a Christmas story but it is seasonally appropriate. And Santa Claus appears in the movie version. I highly recommend it...love the soundtrack too.

"I'm a count...NOT A SAINT." bwa ha ha

My confession for today is that although I have not read any of Alexander Dumas's classic tomes (yet), I have seen the movie The Count of Monte Cristo at least 5 or 6 times if not more. That's a lot for such a random movie. I mean it's no Sound of Music or anything. And it's not as popular (or as good...or as overplayed) as The Princess Bride but it has the same kind of appeal to me.

It goes slowly downhill once Edmond escapes the Chateau d'If and you suddenly remember that the movie was made in the 2000s (Jacopo, anyone? "I'll kill them. I'll run up to Paris - bam, bam, bam, bam!"). But strangely I almost enjoy the movie's deterioration toward the end as the plot and the lines and the acting get more and more ridiculous. And I never get tired of the first half of the movie. Especially the priest/Dumbledorf. "SPEED OF HAND! Speed of mind."

Happy times. Go watch it tonight.

Loved it.

When I saw the trailer for Inception I knew it was my kind of movie. I was a little worried when we went to see it last night that I would hate it because my expectations were too high. I tried not to be excited about it. But I couldn't help myself because...Christopher Nolan's movies are awesome.

And, it was as just as awesome as I had hoped. It's the kind of movie that I want to go back and watch again (like Memento or The Prestige, but not as twisted). The characters were well cast, the action built at just the right pace, and I can't refuse "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" as a recurring motif. I hope my raving about it doesn't set your hopes too high should you choose to watch it. But if you do want to watch it, I recommend going to a packed theater rather than Netflixing it later. Not only is it visually psychotic enough that you'll want a big screen, but the collective gasps from the audience make it even more fun.

The shades of Pemberley are now in fact thus polluted

I have never considered myself a particularly Jane Austen type of person...as much as I can totally dig her themes as far as I understand them (romance, economic and social standing, men and women being total idiots without each other), I never could get through more than a page of one of her dense and flowery tomes, and Colin Firth never did it for me either. This is basically me any time I've tried to read Pride and Prejudice. Me and Joe Fox.

But I guess I just got in this mood lately. Valentine's fever maybe? Not the books, just the movies. In the past week I've watched way too many hours' worth of Austen movies. I think the crazy, I mean devoted Austen fans were on to something all along.

Please forgive me if in future conversations with you I inadvertently slip in words like "tiresome" or "pleasant" or "countenance."

Roll Bounce

Matt and I saw 50+ movies in 2005. (when I won free movie tickets for a year...if you have spent much time with me you may have noticed that I often try to find a way to work that fact into conversations, or blog posts, especially since I really haven't seen that many movies since then.) A lot of those were embarrassingly bad--Monster-in-Law, shudder! Some of them were funny--I still laugh at Fever Pitch even after watching it over and over. A few were epic--Batman Begins, be still my heart! How I love me a good solid dark Batman flick. A lot of the movies we watched were fine, and most were not particularly memorable. I probably couldn't name more than 10 for you right now.

But, I randomly thought of Roll Bounce today. I never hear anything about that movie and I've never talked to anyone else who saw it. But Matt and I loved it. It was cute, funny, and nostalgic, and you can't say no to a skate-off/dance-off. It's the kind of movie that, if I hadn't been constantly looking for movies to see, probably would have completely passed me by. Not incidentally, 2005 was also the year that Matt gave me roller skates for my birthday.

Enjoy!

Hours and hours and hours

Sorry I'm not posting pictures of what's about to follow. Too lazy/tired.

I wasn't kidding when I said I have watched a lot of movies since the swine flu reared its horrible head. A lot of said movies were TERRIBLE, yet I chose to feed myself this drivel. Maybe it's kind of like when I don't exercise, I just feel like eating terrible food and thus begins the downward spiral. Apparently when I am sick I just feel like watching terrible movies. I should have read books instead, but I chose YouTube and Netflix Watch Instantly (because I do not have a TV) and I have paid for it dearly in lost brain cells. Exhibit A, the Truly Terrible Chick Flick.

Made of Honor
The Proposal
Bride Wars
(all had terrible writing, tasteless jokes, pointless storylines)

I would have been better off doing...anything else. But I viewed the Truly Terrible Chick Flicks at the beginning of my sickness and was way too tired to get up off the couch and turn them off. It gets better. Exhibit B, the Truly Terrible Melodrama.

The Deep End of the Ocean
(why did I do this to myself, WHY?? Please promise me you will never watch this movie that should have gone straight to the Lifetime channel, how did it get into theaters?)

Exhibit C, The One I Couldn't Even Get Through. (Theo loved it though)

The Muppets Take Manhattan
(I love me some Muppets but I wanted to gouge my eyes out)

Exhibit D, The Second One I Couldn't Get Through

Three Men and a Little Lady
(I also love me some Selleck but, more gouging)

Exhibit E, OK, These Ones Weren't So Bad.

Seven Pounds (sad, but thought-provoking, and I adore Will Smith)
Notting Hill (I think I've seen this one about 5 times; a few funny lines from the roommate, mediocre story, and Julia Roberts is terrible in it, why is that?)

Exhibit F, Technically Chosen for the Kids but I Like 'Em (more than the kids did actually)

Finding Nemo
Toy Story
The Incredibles
(hard to go wrong with Disney-Pixar)

Exhibit F, Finally Some Really Good Movies

Little Women
(wiping away a tear...I really love Susan Sarandon in this as the strong and beautiful Marmee)
The Mission
(more tears, and I love EVERYONE in this! Jeremy Irons, Robert De Niro, Liam Neeson, all amazing)

Well, there's way too many hours of my life I'll never get back. I won't even get started on all the hours of Friends I've watched on TheWB.com. Plus Friends clips on YouTube, terrible idea! They suck you in! Matt was incredulous that I actually spent time doing that. And now, inspired by the ladies of Central Perk, I kinda want to grow my hair out long again. First I'll need to find a stylist to come over every morning and fix it for me, of course.

I think I am going to go read the newspaper now. Maybe even a book.

Ease my troubles, that's what you do

When I was little and desperately wanted long hair, my mom told me...very diplomatically, I am sure...that my head was too small.



And, as usual, she was right. My hair has been short for so long now that to me, it looks like I'm wearing a wig in this picture. At first glance, my hair is like a third the length of my body.

Freaky.

Speaking of tiny heads. I wish that I had a copy of my first-grade school picture (when I had longish hair) to illustrate her point even better. My head was even smaller and my hair even more overwhelming.

Speaking of overwhelming. I wonder sometimes if my long-hair days are over. It seems kind of sad to think so, but seriously guys. Aside from the fact that I can't style long hair to save my life: blow-dryers. HOW do you blow-dry long hair day after day without setting your alarm clock half an hour early? Or is that what people do?

Speaking of blow-drying. Matt and I watched One Fine Day the other night (inexplicably) and I remembered how, when I was a 9th-grader watching it in the theater, I wished for Michelle Pfeiffer's hairstyle. Little did I know that 12 years down the line, I would pretty much have it, though not on purpose. It's what my hair does on its own when I wait too long to schedule a trim.

Speaking of One Fine Day. I also remembered how I just HAD to have the soundtrack for that movie. (Who wouldn't?! "Have I Told You Lately"; "Mama Said"; "The Boy from New York City"; the country hit "Love's Funny That Way"! "For the First Time" by Kenny Loggins!) I don't know about you but when I just HAVE to have something, sometimes I pull out all the stops to get it. It was true when I was 14. Somehow I convinced my saintly dad to take me to Barnes and Noble at 9 p.m. on a school night to scratch that particular itch. Will I be such a saint when Ida is 14?

Speaking of the One Fine Day soundtrack. I still have the CD if you ever want to borrow it.

United 93

Perhaps fittingly for Memorial Day weekend (though not intentionally so), Matt and I watched United 93 on Friday night.


When this movie came out a few years ago I was reluctant to see it, despite overwhelmingly positive reviews. I thought it would (a) make me afraid to fly ever again (b) make me cry (c) be tasteless (d) be sappy (e) be too violent.

Surprisingly, not one of these fears came true for me. The tension in the first half of the film was almost too much to bear at times as oblivious plane passengers quietly talked to each other in the air and baffled air-traffic controllers tried to make sense of absolute chaos on the ground. The (very positive) New Yorker review pointed out that while most "Everyman heroism" films provoke a lump in your throat, in this one it's more like a knot in the pit of your stomach. At the end, I felt somewhat of a catharsis for the people on the plane. "I love you. I love you. I love you." repeated over and over as they phoned their dear ones at home, their last words to their husbands, wives, daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, before a group of them stormed the cockpit.

As Matt said, I don't know that I'll ever want to watch it again. It was really overwhelming at times. I shivered throughout the first half of it. A caveat: it's rated R for brief strong language and brief intense violence, probably mostly for "thematic material." Overall the movie is understated, very realistic, not sappy, and thought-provoking. Once Flight 93 is in the air, the movie plays out in real time. Real flight attendants and pilots acted in it, as well as little-known actors. Ben Sliney of the FAA and Major James Fox played themselves, as did a handful of other FAA and military personnel.

On this Memorial Day I am trying to remember to notice what's going on around me--both in the world and in my immediate environment; to be prepared for anything; and most of all to remember and learn from my own and others' past mistakes in order to live the best life possible.

Thanks today to everyone who has pursued and maintained freedom and peace in our country and around the world--whether by choice or by circumstance, a decorated general or a dedicated citizen, lauded or unnoticed, it all matters, and I am grateful for it.

La misma luna

A few weeks ago we watched La Misma Luna (Under the Same Moon). A young Mexican single mother leaves her five-year-old son with his grandmother as she makes the dangerous trek up to Los Angeles to find a better life for them. She sends him money and talks to him on the phone every week for four years, promising they'll see each other soon, planning to become a U.S. citizen before sending for him...until, just days after his ninth birthday, his grandmother dies and so the boy decides to find his mother himself.

The movie is sweet and unassuming, the plot simple, the metaphors clear (lots of crosswalks, for example). Its message may filter to a viewer differently depending on his or her own experiences and beliefs--the plight of an illegal immigrant in the United States certainly being a strong theme--and actually I am very interested in immigration. Another very compelling movie about immigration, by the way, is El Norte (The North).

But what struck me the most was a mother's love for her son and his for her, impossible in this case for imposing borders, shouting immigration officers, or sniffing, barking dogs to compromise. Until I had a son I never thought about that bond much, since, obviously, I'm a girl and had never been privy to it. I remember when Theo was first born, the sound bite I heard most often from others was: "Little boys love their mothers."

I love the stories that Matt has told me of his childhood memories of his mother. My favorite, shared with his permission, is one of his early adolescence. Matt, the youngest and the only child at home, left dozens of friends and cousins and all things familiar to move with his parents from Ogden, Utah to Fargo, North Dakota when he was about to enter eighth grade. On the first day of school, he wanted to wear shorts but his mom made him wear pants. It was a hard day for him for a number of reasons. When his mom picked him up after school that day, he got in the car and she asked him how it had gone. The stoic thirteen-year-old got emotional as he described how painful it was to be the new kid and the only one at school wearing pants instead of shorts. He looked over at his mom and she, looking back at him, had tears in her eyes.

I love that story. I love that even though Matt is still a very stoic guy (and very much a "guy," having grown up with all brothers) he still loves his mother that much, and she him. I always want my son to know of my love for him and of my constant presence should he need me. Matt and I never sneak out when a babysitter comes; we always say goodbye and promise we'll see him later. So on a few occasions, if Theo is already nervous or tired and I have stepped out of the room or forgotten to tell him I'm getting the mail, Theo has become distraught wondering where I've gone. When I've realized his concern I've come back to him and promised him, "I am here. I would never leave you."

I know that he will grow up and grow apart from me step by step until it's time for him to start his life on his own. Happily, the chances of our being separated before he's ready for it are slim. But he will inch away. Someday he'll bound away. Sooner or later his first thought when he needs help won't be to look for me. Already, after I open the car door for him, he climbs in while saying forcefully, "BYE!" I say, "Bye!" and close the door and he frantically buckles himself in as though I might come back and, heaven forbid, buckle him in myself. He does the same "BYE!" whenever he has a friend over to play. Kind of hilarious actually. He's like a mini teenager.

But even if he doesn't want me to be, I will always be there. I love my relationship with my son. I am relishing the stage we're in now. It's the stage where, every morning, he scampers into the kitchen for his oatmeal, calling on his way, "Froggie bowl dirty?" It's the stage where, every night, after the day's 800 tantrums and time-outs, he burrows down under his blanket, looks up at me in the dark, flashes the ILY sign and whispers "I love you."

I love that we sleep not only under the same moon, but under the same roof. I know that as normal as it may seem, seeing my own young son every day, showing him how to do new things, holding his hand, tucking him in, smelling his hair, watching him grow, is a precious blessing that not every mother is able to claim.

I love my sweet Theo! Who wouldn't, right?

Who picked The Lion King?

Have you seen Be Kind Rewind?

When I first heard about it I knew I had to see it. Then of course I didn't, but finally Matt and I watched it a few nights ago.

It was much slower than I anticipated, but I still kept watching because of occasional laugh-out-loud moments. It was the kind of movie where afterward, I remember almost nothing about it. It didn't get the most fabulous reviews, but I'd watch it again, if only for Jack Black. Of course I'd watch almost anything he made (though Nacho Libre was probably a mistake). He's so ridiculous. (possible favorite Jack Black moment: "I was like, you better not! You better not!" - Orange County)

Anyway, speaking of ridiculous. You may not find anything funny about this scene from Be Kind Rewind. But I laughed...hard. Mostly at the old lady. I can't decide if I recommend this movie or not. You definitely have to have a silly sense of humor to appreciate it. You also probably need to see the previous scene to put it in context. If you don't think this clip is funny, then definitely don't watch the whole movie! Oh, and turn up your volume.



Do you like the videotaping of the computer screen? Old school, man! That, and I don't know how else to get content from a DVD onto YouTube since I don't have any DVD burning software. Go ahead, put those ideas to rest about how I am some kind of techie. (First clue would be that I used the word "techie.")

My Kid Could Paint That

A few nights ago Matt and I watched My Kid Could Paint That (2007) on Netflix On Demand.

For lack of a better word, as I watched the film I felt...awkward. I felt sad for the family. Some of my favorite art is by kids I know--usually funny little drawings done in pencil or marker. I wonder what my own kids might come up with if presented with giant canvases, tubes of thick paint, large brushes and spatulas. Once they're capable of keeping the paintbrush on the canvas, that is.

Have you seen it? What did you think? Could a four-year-old paint something worth thousands and thousands of dollars? Would you even want to find out?

*

Side note: Tune in tomorrow for the first installment of the New and Improved: Getting to Know You series!

Failure Face

Theo loves Charlie Brown.



And I do mean loves. And he also loves TV now, but he only wants to watch things that involve:

a) Raffi

or

b) Charlie Brown

It started with A Charlie Brown Christmas in December. He watched it with me once and fell in love. Hard not to; it is a cute movie. But anyway I got tired of that one quickly so we tried out a few other Charlie Brown specials and even the Academy Award-nominated feature film A Boy Named Charlie Brown (which I remember watching as a kid but didn't remember any details of the plot).

Personally I am liking Charlie Brown more and more every time I see him and witness what he goes through. Charles Schulz was a genius. Lucy's Psychiatric Help stand? Seriously. But--and I'm sure I'm not the first to realize this--it's not for 2-year-olds...at least not for this one. Do you know how mean those girls are to Charlie Brown? Do you know? I know that was kinda the whole point of Peanuts, but I didn't remember it being so brutal. It's worse in the specials than it was in the comic strips, and worse in the movies than it was in the specials. Fortunately Schroeder and Linus are always good friends to him. But I don't think I want any more of this seeping into Theo's brain while he's still learning to talk:

"Stupid"
"Blockhead"
"Failure"
"You can't do anything right."

(the most popular insults slung frequently by Lucy, Violet, Frieda, and Patty)

There's even a song called "Failure Face." The girls dance in circles around Charlie Brown while singing: "You’re so impossibly dumb/ In history books your name they’ll erase/ Or else they’re bound to call you/ Failure Face./ And in the race to be stupid/ You’d set a brand-new kind of pace/ We’d like to christen you, Charlie/ Failure Face."

They're good shows for older kids and adults, maybe even made better by the meanness. This whole train of thought kind of reminds me of when I picked up Catcher in the Rye at about 10 years old and had barely finished the first page when my mom all but grabbed it out of my hands and told me I could read it when I was older.

I liked these interviews with Matt Groening and Jonathan Franzen reminiscing about Peanuts. Charlie Brown is a great character and I love the subtleties. A Boy Named Charlie Brown has some psychedelic animation sequences ("Moonlight Sonata" being my favorite), as well as some poignant symbolism. But...they're just so mean to poor Charlie Brown. I think I'd rather Theo watch them when he's old enough to appreciate subtlety and feel compassion for Charlie Brown rather than incorporate "stupid" into his daily vocabulary just because he's heard it so much.

Am I thinking too much about this? Don't answer that. I've already decided.

"Well, it's Groundhog Day... again..."

Would it be Groundhog Day if I didn't post about how much I love the movie Groundhog Day?

I think not.

"Told you. Call me Bronco."

Feel free to leave your fave GHD quotes in the comments. If you don't have a favorite quote yet, you know what it's time to do. Watch it tonight!