You keep using that word

Image by Micah Player

Today I have been thinking about two of my most memorable college classes: Communications Theory and History of Civilizations.

Comms theory was particularly memorable because I had to retake it after getting a D the first time (my freshman year was rough, OK! I had to retake a few classes...). 

I specifically remember learning about semiotics, or the study of signs/symbols and their interpretations. An American flag, a Star of David, a traffic light, a dove, a thermometer... etc. etc., they are at once an image and a multilayered statement. Anyway. That class was also when I learned the word "paradigm." 

(I remember asking the TA, "You keep using that word... what in the world does it mean??")

History of Civ was a two-parter, and I really loved part two (1500-present), where the professor used various novels, films, and nonfiction books as our texts. One of the texts was the book Imagined Communities, a book by Benedict Anderson that explores nationalism as a... you guessed it... community that exists in our imagination, a social construct.

I saw the above image today posted by one of my favorite illustrators, Micah Player, and immediately my thoughts turned back to those two classes. Ever since I was very young, and certainly when I was my most fresh-faced and optimistic as a college-age kid, the Statue of Liberty has communicated layers of meaning to me about justice, bravery, opportunity, First Amendment freedoms... maybe even our friends the French. ;) And another layer I learned about in college: Emma Lazarus’s poem that’s engraved inside the statue’s pedestal, “The New Colossus.” 

Ultimately all of those concepts together form a three-dimensional image that, perhaps next to the American flag and maybe fireworks (runner up: bald eagle), is the most iconic, most recognizable symbol of modern democracy modern democratic constitutional republic that I can think of. 

It hadn't particularly occurred to me that it might mean something else to other Americans, something more exclusive, something more narrow... like, concentrated presidential power or white Christian nationalism or isolationism or the prosperity gospel or “curated” opinion sections in a national newspaper. 

But “America” can mean whatever anyone wants it to mean. 

I just really don't think it means what those people think it means.

A warm hug

I had never heard of Mae Jemison until my kids’ school was being renamed a few years ago and she was one of the namesake suggestions. Now I feel like I see photos or quotes of hers all the time! Which makes me think, maybe I had heard of her sooner but just hadn’t noticed her…? Also… I wish she had been the namesake winner. Mae Jemison is a pretty rad school name.

I love what she says here about the earth and the sky, and letting gravity “give you a warm hug.” We live in a beautiful world 🌎 

Days in DC

We went to DC twice last week during our strange and unfamiliar staycation winter break. First on a frigid windy day (30*) and then two days later on a lovely balmy day (60*). The weather here is funny that way. I kinda love it. Selfie from the north, selfie from the south.

Brought to you by TJ’s and my camera roll

Just because sometimes I can’t think of what to write on my blog so I scroll through old photos until something strikes me. Here’s a recent TJ’s find that I texted to my sisters. Shakshuka is one of those things I’ve been seeing everywhere and the TJ’s frozen section is an extremely low-cost way (in both time and money) to try it out. I added rice (also TJ’s also frozen) and it was Very Taste. As my niece Eve would say. Or would have said when she was little.

While I’m at it. Also new to me this year—and good:

Finally, certainly not new and certainly a perennial favorite:

Thanks for the re-reads.

I just finished this book... for the third or perhaps fourth time... and loved it all over again. I just love Nancy E. Turner and have read all of her books at least two or three times (except for her latest venture, Light Changes Everything, which I am sorry to say was riddled with plot holes, and I did not finish it. Quite the departure!). 

But anyway she has a way with words, and I love learning history from novels, and I have reread all of her books in this pandemic year. (I also reread a few Little House books, and I’m sure some Betsy-Tacy rereads are in my pandemic future as well.) Nancy E. Turner = comfort reads for me. This one paired especially well today with Reese’s peanut butter cups, my comfort candy, of which I have aplenty this post-Halloween season because my kids don’t like them (?!?!).

A great woman

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#goals When we connect and work together, we can accomplish more. Thank you to all the women that have inspired me. #churchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints #churchofjesuschrist #reynaaburto

A post shared by Flora Familiar #florafamiliar (@florafamiliar) on Mar 11, 2020 at 8:19am PDT

I love this quote from Reyna Aburto, with the visual imagined by Michelle from @florafamiliar on Instagram. If you're interested in family history, Michelle has some really great stuff on the topic.

"Come here" and "go there" (part 5)

"As the clatter and clamor of life bustle about us, we hear shouting to 'come here' and to 'go there.' In the midst of the noise and seductive voices that compete for our time and interest, a solitary figure stands on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, calling quietly to us, 'Follow me.'" 

- Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Follow Me," April 2002

Image via Popular Mechanics, The Real Face of Jesus: What Did Jesus Look Like?

Bonus scriptures:
"And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away"

"And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will"

"For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things"

"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven"


Bonus links:

• Stand By My Side by Liese Rodger. "I am a Black woman who has lived in Utah for twelve years. Utah is a state with a rich history that its people are immensely proud of. But for a people so enriched in the stories of their oppressed pioneer ancestors, I often wonder why it is so difficult for many to see the parallels between their own oppression and the deeply rooted, ongoing history of their minority neighbors."
• We Are Witnesses by Charlotte Mountain. "What has made [George Floyd's] murder so different? It is that we are witnesses.... This video was shot with a steady hand by a 17-year-old girl named Darnella Frazier. Keep her in your prayers. The Latter-day Saint religion has a great tradition of anointing and setting apart children for great things. I believe that for this day Darnella has been set apart. She showed us the truth. She made us witnesses."
• Why I'm Skeptical of New Christian Allies by Marc Antoine Lavarin. "Something majestic is taking place in the midst of this struggle. However, in order for us to seize the moment, we must avoid the path of safe and easy allyship that doesn’t require theological transformation."
• Womanist Theology and Mormonism (Maxwell Institute podcast) with Janan Graham-Russell. "When you think about your religious beliefs, your theology, how much consideration have you given to your race? How has the color of your skin affected your understanding of God, of Jesus Christ, or of your religious community? Maybe you’ve never thought much about it. If you’re a black Latter-day Saint in America, you virtually can’t escape these kinds of questions. Many black American Latter-day Saints know that questions about the color of their skin and their faith are deeply intertwined. Add the component of gender and the questions multiply."
• "There Is No Equality": William E. Berrett, BYU, and Healing the Wounds of Racism in the Latter-day Saint Past and Present by Rebecca de Schweinitz. "Shortly before The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’s 2018 'Be One' event, celebrating forty years since the LDS Church removed racial restrictions on temple and priesthood participation, Black Latter-day Saint podcaster and author Zandra Vranes asked white members to consider 'what you or your Mormon ancestors were doing between 1852 and June 7, 1978.' It’s an important question that forces us to, in Eugene England’s words, 'face our unbearable Mormon loss of innocence.'" 
• Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter, Black Mormon Lives Matter by Meg Conley. "We are not individualists. Individualism is anathema to Mormon theology. If heaven can only be built through physical and spiritual collective action (and the temple is a physical and spiritual place) then God’s Kingdom on earth can only be built through both physical and spiritual action. Our ancestors said their prayers and then got off their knees and acted for the community."
• New Volume of Saints Reveals the Many Sides of Brigham Young by Peggy Fletcher Stack. "This image of the 'Lion of the Lord,' as he was known, sits atop monuments, stands on statues and graces a university named for him. In today’s 16 million-member Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, however, believers know little of Young’s many sides — tender, stubborn, willful, racist, yet profoundly religious with a great love for the temple."
• Follow Christ to Eliminate Racism by Bryant Jensen, with contributions by Janan Graham-Russell and Melissa Inouye. "By following Christ to eliminate racism, we participate in the “ongoing Restoration” of His gospel and prepare for His Second Coming. We are all children of God, members of a body. Some members have been terribly mistreated, for a very long time. Let’s work arm-in-arm—Latter-day Saints of all racial and ethnic backgrounds—to eliminate interpersonal, institutional, and implicit racism. He lives and loves us all, with our differences. He asks us to do the same." 
• Healing the Wounds of Racism by Darius Gray. "1. Acknowledge the problem. 2. Recognize it in ourselves. 3. Learn a new approach. 4. Listen."

*

Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"

In much patience (part 4)

And, here are action ideas 7-10.

Please consider these action ideas, many of which you may already be practicing, and resolve with me to make our circles at church more open, more generous, and more holy.

If they seem obvious to you: great! You're probably already doing these things! If they seem suspect or like overkill to you, maybe examine why.

TL;DR:
7) Don't ever make it about me.   
8) Avoid asking personal questions rooted in stereotypes.   
9) Listen, learn, and become friends.  
10) Repent.

7) "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted"
See also: mourn with those that mourn, in previous post.

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Eeeeeek, this is a tricky one. Ever hear of White Tears? You probably have. (Either way, I recommend About the Weary Weaponizing of White Women's Tears by Luvvie Ajayi Jones and White Women's Tears and the Men Who Love Them by Robin DiAngelo.) "White Tears" don't  mean a white person's natural empathetic human tears. White Tears are a emotional tool to help me center a situation around myself. There are a whole lot of tears flowing at church, and there always were and there always will be. So where is the line?
Action: If I find myself in an uncomfortable or emotional situation with a person of another race--or I am talking about race at church, for instance trying to stand up for someone who is a victim of racism, or maybe I'm bearing my testimony or it's some other emotionally charged moment--and I need to cry, because crying happens, I will make sure my tears are not about me. If they are about me, and I can't redirect the emotion to focus on what the problem really is, then I will excuse myself until I'm ready.

I *think* I can avoid this situation by processing those types of tears on my own at home so they don't sneak up on me in public. If I'm accused of being racist and I feel tears coming, I will promptly apologize--"I am so sorry that I hurt you, and I will listen if you'd like to say anything further"--and then promise to get back to the person ASAP once I've composed myself. I am not talking about empathetic tears in an intimate and loving conversation. I am talking about self-centering tears.



8) "In much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labours, in watchings, in fastings; by pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned, by the word of truth, by the power of God"
Whew, this discipleship thing is harder than it looks.

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Action: You might want to laugh at this one because it sounds so ridiculous, but it's really very unfunny. One way to help scale back the inadvertent offensive questions, and simultaneously to check our own biases, sounds really obvious and more than a little nerdy. If you have a question about Black people: before asking a Black person directly, try googling it first. Really. Have you ever asked a Black person if they wear sunscreen? I'm reluctant to admit that I did once. I had never thought about it before. I knew about melanin but apparently not very much. We were at the pool and I offered this friend some of my sunscreen: "...or actually, do you wear sunscreen?" His answer was friendly and succinct: "Yes, I wear sunscreen." That was about 4 years ago. Ugh. I am a curious and open person, and I sometimes can get over-personal with people. But I am trying, and I think (?) I'm less likely to ask those questions now than I was 4 years ago.

You're probably better versed in human biology than I was at the time... at age 33... (hmmm) so anyway, you won't run into that one. But what other weird ideas or questions might any well-intentioned person be harboring? Do they border on stereotypes? If a question about Black people (or Asian people or Latinx people or any people as a "people") pops up in my mind, if there's anything I'm wondering, try googling it before asking anyone. And then if I'm surprised by the answer, examine why. Dig into that.

While I'm googling, maybe even google around to figure out if I'm saying stuff I shouldn't be saying. (I literally just googled "what not to say to Black people" to see what's there, and a ton of articles popped up. Clearly a lot of people are wondering this... or a lot of people are wishing that people were wondering this.) Note: This applies to any race I do not belong to.

Besides. After stocking up on all of that information, and digging the biases out of myself, I may just find that I can have a normal conversation about normal stuff and not be an idiot who is accidentally offensive. Please note: I am NOT an antiracism expert, if you want to be academic about it there are lots of classes and seminars and things to help with this type of idiocy which enough of us want to overcome including me, that it's a problem and there's a market for it, and an extra great thing about purchasing these services is that it is supporting Black-owned businesses. A few courses that I have seen that look great are run by Dr. Mica McGriggs, Dr. Lucretia Carter Berry, and Monique Melton.

Side note about this. Sometimes people ask me a personal question about a "label" I belong to that they do not belong to--such as Latter-day Saint, or stay-at-home mom, or white person--and they preface it with "I don't want to be offensive," and I always laugh because I am a ridiculously open book, there are almost no questions you could ask me that would offend me (except maybe if you catch me between day 22-28 of my cycle, and that is a stereotype that is very true in my case). That confidence and openness comes from privilege. It comes from the fact that most days, people don't ask me naive questions about my race, because they know a lot about my race, because it's the dominant race in America. Also, I am unafraid of just about anyone who is asking me these questions. I know that "privilege" is a buzzword that has been around a long time, and sometimes it feels political or like an excuse, but it makes so much sense. I love Jasmine Bradshaw's explorations of it at First Name Basis. Anyway, just wanted to note that just because I don't think anyone could offend me, doesn't mean I should ever assume that my questions are inoffensive.


9) "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath"
Feel free to let me know if you've mastered this one. I like to talk and I'm usually right. Right?? ;)

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We've just established that just because I'm not easily offended doesn't mean I should assume that what I say is always inoffensive. Now about being swift to hear: listening instead of talking is so hard sometimes but so important. As far as action goes, number one is always going to be personal relationships, and we will all work on those in our own spheres. But we don't know everyone. And if we're a white Mormon, it's fairly likely that we aren't close with very many Black Mormons. Below I will share a few Black LDS people's perspectives that are available on the Internet, that I have found helpful.

Action: I will actively seek to listen to Black LDS people's perspectives (in all their varieties :) and to be a friend. Everyone makes friends in their own ways, but a few would be invite them over to dinner (someday when we're visiting each other's houses again...), make plans based on mutual interests, follow them on social media. You know, the usual. So: this action will be in my personal circle as well as voices that I connect with online, that I will continue to listen to, not just as a passing fad.

Obviously this doesn't mean cornering the next Black person and saying "Hello, please tell me your story of being Black at church!!!" [cringe] It means becoming friends; learning about each other is part of that.

PSA: With the below links, I am including specifically people I am familiar with who talk about the Black LDS experience. There are also many many many MANY Black people of many faiths who have made their voices available online to listen to, enjoy, and learn from. Feel free to share any suggestions you have.

Black LDS Legacy and Black Lives Matter to Christ (see previous post)

Beyond the Block: Every week these two discuss the Come Follow Me curriculum. In their own words: "Brother Jones and Brother Knox describe themselves as staunch advocates for the theology and harsh critics of the culture when it comes to Mormonism. A black life-long member and queer convert respectively, they bring a less heard perspective to the notoriously white and heteronormative faith."

First Name Basis: Look for Jasmine of First Name Basis on Instagram or any podcast app. She is Black biracial and a Latter-day Saint. "I'm Jasmine Bradshaw, a researcher, educator, podcaster, and founder of the First Name Basis Community. I truly believe that creating a more loving, inclusive, and just society starts within the sacred walls of our homes. First Name Basis exists to give you the tools you need to teach your children about race, religion, and culture. In this space we prioritize truth, hold one another accountable, and celebrate growth!"

Sistas in Zion: Tamu Smith and Zandra Vranes are on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, and they have written multiple books together. "The Sistas in Zion are two friends, Zandra Vranes and Tamu Smith, who started a blog to keep in touch when one moved out of state. Their journey, detailed in their blog, touches on all aspects of life, but most especially and most importantly on being inclusive in a world that is increasingly polarizing and divisive."

*Bonus: Not LDS, but faith-based:
Black Coffee with White Friends: Marcie is a generous and faithful Black person who shares her perspective purposefully with thousands of white friends. "I am usually the only black person in the room. That is what this is, what this blog is all about: me being the only one, most days, in most of the places I go.... Unknowingly, we so often narrow our scope of black and of white. So therefore, we narrow our experience of the complexities of each color. We miss the nuances because we can't see the differing hues. These stories I hope widen our lenses. My days radiate a unique color of the Imago Dei reflecting a particular shade and hue that He specifically chose for me to wear, and said that it was 'Good.'"


10) "When we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride... the Spirit of the Lord is grieved"
Pretty strong language that speaks for itself.

Image via me

I saved the best for last! JK. This is complicated. Not all members of our Church, believing or not, have been happy with our leadership's tentative stance on our racist past. I'm personally not that happy with it, although I think I understand where it's coming from. The NAACP is maybe medium happy with it. But I think I look at this through a specific lens, which is that I am faithful and have already spent many years reconciling a lot of the tough stuff. So it's easy to say to myself: this is a mess, but it's been a mess more often than not, and we still have a prophet, and we still have lots of people who are speaking up and staying faithful, and it is all going to be OK.

Jumping straight into the tough stuff all at once without a friend to lean on, though, can lead to a devastating faith crisis. If you're old enough, you may have already been through a faith crisis or two, and having friends to lean on can make the difference. Regardless, we have all been called to repentance lots of times, not just in D&C 121 (above) but also pretty recently, about this very topic.
Action: Daily, a little at a time, with the glimpses of clarity I can see as I'm trying my best, I will do what President Nelson has said: "The Creator of us all calls on each of us to abandon attitudes of prejudice against any group of God’s children. Any of us who has prejudice toward another race needs to repent!" How does a person repent of their sins? Something along the lines of: "confess them and forsake them." Also, repentance is not a quick or easy fix. It's a rebuilding.

Am I going to publicly self-flagellate so everyone knows I ONCE WAS LOST, BUT NOW AM FOUND?

No.

Besides, in LDS theology, repentance is not a one-time thing. It is daily and it is personal. I will examine my past and present actions. I will do the work in whatever way makes sense to my heart. I will keep coming back. I will not stop.



Bonus scriptures and links listed in next post.


Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"

Mourn with those that mourn (part 3)

Part 3! Action ideas 4-6.

Please consider these action ideas, many of which you may already be practicing, and resolve with me to make our circles at church more open, more generous, and more holy.

If they seem obvious to you: great! You're probably already doing these things! If they seem suspect or like overkill to you, maybe examine why.

TL; DR:
4) Apologize when I offend someone, even accidentally.
5) Speak up when witnessing racist statements or events.
6) Practice "comfort and cleanup" skills (thanks to Dr. LaShawn Williams for this concept)


4) "Now, it came to pass that when I had heard these words I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren"
I care deeply for my fellow humans. I do not want to hurt anyone.

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We don't want to hurt each other. We don't want to offend each other. And if we didn't MEAN to hurt or offend each other, it boggles our mind that we could do so accidentally. They are being so sensitive! If I could just EXPLAIN what I really meant...
Action: If someone at church who belongs to a different race tells me that I have offended them by something I have said or done, I am going to apologize and listen. Full stop. God knows my intent. The person I offended only feels the impact, and they don't actually need me to explain my intent in detail. Maybe I can explain my intent to them later, once I've understood the impact I made and if we have come to an understanding and a forgiveness. But honestly? Once I've understood the impact, and we've come to an understanding and a forgiveness, my urgent need to explain why "I didn't mean it that way" will probably dissipate. *note to self: this is probably a good process to follow whenever I offend someone about anything...


5) "This is Zion—the pure in heart; therefore, let Zion rejoice, while all the wicked shall mourn"
I actually meant to put this verse in my first post because I'm using it ironically, but it got lost in the shuffle. If Zion is the pure in heart, then "racist" is a label for the wicked, and that's not me, right?!

 

The above video is a thoughtful and funny version of the "intent versus impact" principle: it explores a conversation focusing on "what a person did" versus a conversation about "who a person is."
Action: As a lifelong habit that goes hand-in-hand with listening to my Black friends and taking note of what seemingly innocuous statements said by me or someone else are actually racist: If I notice something racist at church, or in a conversation surrounding church, I will point it out. If I am afraid or caught off guard and don't point it out in the moment, I will take some time soon afterward and point it out privately in the way I deem appropriate for my relationship with the person (some form of "X sounded racist because Y"). And I will focus on the action or the words, rather than speculating anything aloud, or in my heart, about the person's character or intent. Not only because there's no way for me to know someone's intent, but also because if I accuse someone of bad intentions ("You are racist!"), they'll block me out, and rightly so, because I'm acting like I know their heart when I don't.

Side note: A white person is not going to be the expert on antiracism, but don't be afraid to speak up anyway. If another white person says they don't need to listen to what you say about racism because you're white, just absorb that. It's fine. You're white, but that doesn't mean you can't talk about race in a helpful way, if you are using what you've learned from Black people, and for that matter what you've learned from people of any race or ethnicity. You have a unique voice and unique circles that only you can touch. You'll stumble and that's fine too. Black Saints should not be bearing this burden alone.

6) "And now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort"
This is boilerplate Mormonism. One of our most famous scriptures. We want to be there for each other. Help and serve. Cry together. Hug each other.

I draw this connection specifically because of something I learned from Dr. LaShawn Williams during an MWEG town hall about Black Lives Matter. She used the example of playing to her strengths as a mom: she hates vomit and has a hard time handling it psychologically when one of her children vomits. But she is very good at handling "the comfort and the cleanup." Hugs, laundry, changing the sheets, etc.
She offered this Action: I will practice my "comfort and cleanup" skills. In a situation where a white person says or does something that is racist, and a Black person is hurt (this could be a comment in a lesson, or it could be a talk, or it could be a casual conversation), as a bystander we may or may not be confident enough to say something in the moment. We may or may not be brave enough to talk to the person who said the harmful thing. But either way, we can "comfort and clean up" by reaching out to the person who was a victim of the harmful words or actions. Letting them know that we witnessed it, showing them we care, asking them if they want to talk about it, but not pushing anything on them in a white savior sort of way. Following the Spirit to continue in the "comfort and cleanup" in the way that the people of Alma promised to do. This may also apply in any situation where we believe our Black friend may be suffering from any racist or racially charged incident, either personally or in the news.

Another note which is maybe kind of tangential but I'm putting it in anyway because I like it: this can also include developing a resolve to speak up about racism sooner in the future, and also a resolve to be mindful about weaving in this topic at church in the future, not because I have an Agenda, but because I don't want our awareness to be a passing trend. Over the pulpit (in a prayer or a testimony or a talk), in a lesson (with kids or adults), in a meeting (presidency, council, what have you).

*The key to doing this effectively is: be sincere, and put your "money" where your mouth is. If I have shown to my fellow members that I am dedicated--in my callings, in my service, in my testimony--then it's less likely I'll be dismissed as Just Someone with an Agenda.

**And by that logic, if I am anxiously engaged in the gospel and truly want the best for the church community, then it's less likely I'll be Just Someone with an Agenda. (This tweet from Luvvie Ajayi Jones about Dennis Rodman, and her Instagram caption, made me lol and illustrates a little bit of what I mean.)(Can you handle my tangents?? If you've made it this far: looks like you can.)

More soon.

*

Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"

Seek ye diligently (part 2)

Please consider these action ideas, many of which you may already be practicing, and resolve with me to make our circles at church more open, more generous, and more holy.

If they seem obvious to you: great! You're probably already doing these things! If they seem suspect or like overkill to you, maybe examine why.

I hardly need to make the disclaimer that I'm not an expert. I'm a white Latter-day Saint who is taking a few steps into the unknown and, knowing that antiracism isn't a checklist or a self-improvement project, trying to have some sort of a sketch of a plan that I can share with interested friends.

The general format of what follows is: scripture, interpretation, action. Repeated a bunch of times. :) This is going to be a total of 4 posts covering 10 ideas for white Latter-day Saints about combating racism at church and being more inclusive at church.

TL;DR: 
1) Learn the history while fortifying my faith.
2) Actively teach and be inclusive with kids.
3) Attend Black-led events and plan inclusive events.


1) "Seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith"
Don't just start learning, keep learning, and use the best books. Study and pray. Look for everything, not just the easy stuff.

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Action: Assuming that I want to challenge and change the racism in my church, I will continue to learn about my church's racist past and connect it with the Teachings, Attitudes and Perceptions (as mentioned in previous post) that continue today. I will not ignore the hard stuff, but I will also not let it consume me. I will talk with trusted friends and leaders about what I learn.

*For anyone who hasn't already read much on this topic, you might start with Race and the Priesthood, Saints vol 2 (chapters 5, 12, 13, and 39 are particularly relevant), and Healing the Wounds of Racism, all on the Church website. I have more links listed at the bottom of the final post, but if you feel like getting academic about it: I loved David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism for a look at mid-century history that deals with the priesthood and temple ban in depth. A few more that I have either not read yet, or have started but not finished: Decolonizing Mormonism; Religion of a Different Color; Race and the Making of the Mormon People; Mormonism and White Supremacy; and The Book of Mormon for the Least of These.

**If you are worried that you will come across something that will shake your testimony, remember this: lots of things can shake your testimony when you least expect it. Fortify your testimony in the ways that are natural for you. Trust in God. Take the examination of our past at your own pace, while continuing to nurture your own faith in study, prayer, and service. Find trusted friends and leaders to discuss it all with. But don't stop seeking real knowledge, and that includes this real and raw history so that you have a better understanding of why racist teachings, attitudes, and perceptions continue in our church today.


2) "But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another"
This verse directly follows a verse that says we should take care of our kids and teach them not to fight. I imagine that King Benjamin is saying, "OK here are the basics when you're in charge of kids: Keep them fed and clothed. Don't let them fight. And, help them to love each other actively."

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Action: This action for white Latter-day Saints is a two-parter. First part: We will talk about racism with our kids at home AND be actively inclusive at home. (Many people of color provide free resources on this: a few are Here We Read, First Name Basis, The Conscious Kid) And we will discuss racism and inclusivity specifically in the context of the Church. This is not a one-time FHE lesson; this is an ongoing lifelong conversation, that is part of daily interactions as well as sit-down discussions, especially since we're all going to keep learning outside the home too, and bringing home new perspectives with us.

When the 2020 Come Follow Me manual came out and it became clear that a disavowed racist teaching was included, what did you say to your kids in the lesson that week? Did you point it out, and wonder out loud how it might have gotten there? (See also: Teachings, Attitudes, and Perceptions, previous post.) Did you X out that part with a Sharpie, explain that we are still working on overcoming our racism as a church, and talk about how to move forward? If you didn't: consider bringing it up soon as part of a Come Follow Me discussion. If we don't talk about it with our kids, how will they know what we think about it?

In another life, I worked in curriculum editing at the Church Office Building. These manuals take years to produce. Multiple writers, copyeditors, proofreaders, and fact-checkers look at them. Lots of eyes rested on that paragraph before it was published. I wonder if some people thought it might be a problem to include that paragraph, but maybe they didn't say anything for whatever reason. Was this an error? Maybe. But it was an egregious one. And it was also a mistake. People make mistakes. Even leaders do and even prophets do. It's OK to talk about that with our kids. It's necessary to talk about it with them.

Second part: I will actively look for ways for my kids to learn to be inclusive through play at home and at church. Nursery, Primary, and youth programs can all be thoughtfully inclusive, if we try. I will never forget when I was Primary president and a white nursery worker purchased some Black baby dolls for the nursery. There was a little Black girl in our nursery. The nursery worker did not make a big deal about it; she just did it. And the little girl could play with baby dolls who looked like her. And, very importantly, the other kids could play with them too.

I would love it if we purposely had baby dolls of varying races in all of our church nurseries, even if every child in the room is blonde, because young children learn through play. Jesus loves all children of every race, and so do we. Imagine the power of that visual for children. Now imagine a room full of blonde kids holding blonde baby dolls and learning (implicitly--I know no one is saying this in a church nursery) how Jesus loves all the little blonde children. Creepy, right? Which speaks to another related topic which is LDS Art, and Jasmine Bradshaw has a great podcast episode about that.

If you are feeling like it seems like overkill to purchase an array of baby dolls or Barbies for your children, your preschool, or your church nursery: where is that coming from? Interrogate that. You don't have to make a big deal about it. It's okay if you feel silly. Just try it. Be natural about it. The kids may or may not even mention it. If they do, then bam: learning opportunity. If anyone asks about it, you can briefly explain why. "We're trying to be inclusive with the toys because Jesus loves all children of every color, and so do we." If a child says something about the doll that sounds racist, don't get embarrassed or laugh at them. Remember you're the teacher and you are helping this child. Gently talk about the doll in the same way that you've practiced teaching kids about racism in general. Maybe this gets into tricky territory, but if I'm off base about it, I am more than willing to listen. Regardless, make sure the Black dolls are taken care of just as well as the white dolls, especially their hair. (I can't remember where I read this but I thought it was a great point.)


3) "Ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God"
I love this message of unity.

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One of the most stirring Church events I have been to in recent years has been our stake's annual interfaith Christmas devotional. My friend Martha organized beautiful Christmas concerts each year that included a variety of Christian churches, including Black churches and churches with diverse congregations. She attended events at their congregations too. One beauty (of many) of the Black church is music, and music is a universal language. I have never forgotten the spirit I felt in our own stake center with so many people of other faiths worshiping in ways that spoke to all of us.

Action: I will look for interfaith gatherings hosted by various churches (obviously we'll need to put a pin in IRL gatherings for now) and Black-led gatherings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If I am in charge of events in my ward or stake, I will consider visiting nearby churches with a more diverse congregation than ours, getting to know their leadership and members, and inviting them in return to: serve with us, eat with us, sing with us. I will do this in ways that make sense to me--through friends of friends, for example, or through connections I make online or at community events.

Also: Attending protests, rallies, or vigils (or any other community event we are invited to) with Black friends is not a church thing per se, but I think it can be a very holy and certainly a communal experience to spend time in that space where white people are not the leaders or the decision makers.

Black Lives Matter to Christ is "a space to engage with, learn about, and celebrate the stories of Black LDS members in all of their complexities and diversity." There will be a virtual Juneteenth fireside, streaming on the Facebook page this Friday night.

The Black LDS Legacy conference occurs annually on Presidents/Valentines Day weekend at the DC temple visitors center. This is a Black-led, Church-sanctioned physical space, which in Mormonism is somewhat unique and is also so vital. As a white person, if I attend this conference, I'm going in as an observer, a listener, a learner, a supporter. I am not in charge. No one is asking me to speak at the pulpit. I am not offering to speak at the pulpit. What I have to contribute will show up in my future actions and relationships. *If you don't live in DC, you can still join the Facebook group, and you can still watch and listen to previous conferences in the Videos section. Great for a Sunday afternoon while you're making dinner. Or any time.


More soon.

*

Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"

We are living in a period world, and I am a period girl.

PERIODS!

As a followup to Friday’s post about PMS. This post was in my drafts from 2018. It’s all still true. Enjoy 🤗


If you read this blog I'm going to assume you're cool with reading about Feminine Stuff. (You also most likely are a Feminine Person.) I just wanted to report about my foray into the 21st century with period-related gadgets and gizmos. If you're not cool with that, move along!

Happily, while Polly's lengthy nursing career was at times awkward and inconvenient (she finally weaned at age 24 months), it also meant that I went over two full years without a period. I thought I would start going even longer without a period once I got the Mirena IUD, but then when that made me a crazy person I went with the Paragard instead (for the second time in five years). BUT, even more awkward and inconvenient than nursing a stubborn toddler, is experiencing a Paragard period. It's ridiculous. It's medieval is what it is, really.

So anyway, I am here to report that in the 21st century I have now tried out the Clue app (a period tracker that I settled on after researching several), the Diva Cup, and Thinx underwear, and in general I am a fan of them all. I feel like Judy Jetson. If Judy Jetson had a period, which I doubt she did. I like how Judy Jetson continues to be my standard for 21st-century life. This very moment I just realized that the time for being Judy Jetson has long passed, and I am actually Jane Jetson. Who also did not have a period, I'm sure, but if futuristic cartoon shows were accurate, Jane Jetson would use the Clue app, the Diva Cup, and Thinx underwear.

Anyway, I'm in the future now with my gadgets and gizmos aplenty, and and without going into too much detail I'll say don't actually LOVE the cup but it is certainly one way to get in touch with your femininity. Like, as in Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes level of getting in touch with your femininity. Or, if you want to know what it feels like to trip and fall onto a murder scene, that is also similar to what handling a Diva Cup is like. (I assume)

I do love the Clue app. It sends me and Matt notifications about impending PMS. Whether that’s actually helpful, I couldn't say.

The founder of Thinx underwear is morally bankrupt, but I did not know this when I purchased mine. At any rate I find them extremely helpful.

After 10ish years of pregnancy and nursing I feel like I’m turning a page. I’m not quite yet to perimenopause, but it’s looming. If you’ve made it this far, you’re not only comfortable with Feminine Stuff, you are likely also comfortable with Woo-Woo Quotes. I loved this one about menopause from Ursula K. LeGuin:

“The woman who is willing to make that change must become pregnant with herself, at last.”

Boom!

Searching for Sunday

Time for another book review! I loved Searching for Sunday by Rachel Held Evans. I loved Rachel Held Evans. I still feel sad that the world has lost her voice.

***

Over the years I have read articles here and there by Rachel Held Evans. I particularly loved her thoughts on abortion (she is politically progressive but largely pro-life, as am I). And I loved her thoughts on doubt and faith and patience and persistence. I fully agree with her advocacy for inclusion and equality, her self-identification as a feminist and an LGBTQ ally, and her exploration of how to improve inclusion and equality to the point that every believer feels safe at church.

She and I were almost exactly the same age, and we married our college sweethearts near the same time, and although I am an active Latter-day Saint and she grew up in the evangelical tradition which she eventually left to become a (mostly) Episcopalian, we had very similar experiences as active church-going teenagers. (I loved her description of multi-regional church youth activities as an "introvert's nightmare." I did actually love church youth activities in the '90s, but I don't think I could handle them now!)

When I heard that Rachel had suddenly died, I felt so sad that we wouldn't hear any more from this dynamic voice, and I began to read this book, which was perhaps her seminal work. It took me a few weeks, and it is dense, but I loved it. I connected to her journey and to the depth of her searching. I loved her explorations of Bible stories and history, various scriptural translations, and potential motivations for the characters' actions. I loved her framing of her thoughts amid "seven sacraments," particularly her thoughts on the Eucharist (or as I call it in my tradition, the sacrament) and on marriage. I closed "Searching for Sunday" after the final page feeling inspired to continue pressing on in my faith and my relationships, to study more closely the life of Jesus Christ, and to keep seeking no matter what.

A few quotes (I highlighted so many it got ridiculous after a while, so this is just a sampling):

About her husband: "Dan is the son of a former pastor, and his parents divorced when he was a teenager, which is about all you need to know to understand why Dan didn't get freaked out over a little religious turmoil. He moved through the world with the patient maturity of someone who'd already had his expectations adjusted, who already knew that faith was something you took a day at a time, no something you figured out at the start."

"All the beliefs I struggled with during the week were taken for granted on Sunday morning, accepted as self-evident fact. This made my own misalignment all the more pronounced. Around me, people nodded their heads and raised their hands and murmured "amen," while I raged internally at their confidence, their blithe acceptance of the very doctrines that kept me awake night after night. I was surrounded by the people who knew and loved me best in the world, and yet it was the loneliest hour of my week. I felt like an interloper, a fake."

"I realized that just as I sat in church with my doubt, there were those sitting in church with their sexuality, their race, their gender, their depression, their addiction, their questions, their fears, their past, their infertility, their eating disorder, their diagnosis, their missed rent, their mess of a marriage, their sins, their shame--all the things that follow us to church on Sunday morning but we dare not name."

"I'm a Christian because Christianity names and addresses sin. It acknowledges the reality that the evil we observe in the world is also present within ourselves. It tells the truth about the human condition--that we're not okay." (this was my favorite quote)

"So many of our sins begin with fear--fear of disappointment, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of death, fear of obscurity. Cynicism may seem a mild transgression, but it is a patient predator that suffocates hope, slowly, over many years, like the honey mushroom which forces itself between the bark and sapwood of a tree and over decades is strangled to death." (second favorite)

"Ours is a culture of achievement, of sufficiency, of bootstrap-pulling and ladder climbing. We celebrate the winners, the leaders, the do-it-yourselfers. Like any good American, I like to wait until I think I've earned. I like to wait until I think I've deserved. With giving, I can maintain some sense of power, some illusion of control. But receiving means the gig is up. Receiving means I'm not the boss of what comes into life--be it trial or trouble or unmerited good."

I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone who has experienced doubt, who knows more doubt is coming, who believes in the necessity of doubt, and who despite that repeated pull toward doubt is also committed to the triumph of faith, hope, and love. 

I feel it all

I’m blogging on my phone today, because I’ve gone upstairs for the night and my computer is apparently still downstairs. I could go downstairs and find it, but I just made a pointed exit to end an argument, so, reappearing so quickly would take a little of the shine off of that...

I think I have blogged about HSP before (highly sensitive person). It’s the silliest label to claim, but I claim it my friends, I claim it. Noises, lights, colors, textures, smells, I feel it all. (Sorry if the Feist song is in your head now- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l-iAS18rv68

I hate it (because it’s so stupid) and I love it (because it’s so me). 

So maybe it took me several tries to get the exact right paint color for my front door. 5 tries to be exact. It’s the only shade of blue that doesn’t wash out next to the pink brick facade, which I dislike but can’t change.

So maybe I will throw away perfectly functional “daylight” (cool) toned lightbulbs rather than spend one second of my life under their ghastly beams.

So maybe I keep an ancient stick of deodorant in my closet, because when I catch a whiff I remember happy times. (RIP, Teen Spirit Berry Blossom. You got me through ages 15-25.)(Feel free to judge, 12 years later it still smells like heaven itself)

So maybe I just bought myself some noise-canceling headphones because I cannot stand another afternoon of listening to my son pounding out hymns on the piano, but I can’t ask him to stop because he loves it so much. 

So maybe I order and return $800 worth of running shoes before I finally find the exact EXACT right fit. that’s what Zappos is for, am I right?

I will say that I’m oddly not a very picky eater. I’ll eat cold leftovers and not bat an eye. I’m one of those “eat to live” people (versus “live to eat”).

Anywho. All of that is to say, I have been like this my entire life, I will not go much further into it because I’ll save it for my therapist, and the upside of any trouble I have from sensory dismay: is that I get so, much, joy from sensory delights.

Every night, EVERY night when I slide into my perfectly comfortable bed I say out loud “I LOVE THIS BED SO MUCH.”

The natural light streaming in from my big living room window lifts my mood palpably, and when a person is stuck in said living room for months on end, any mood-lifter is welcome.

Drawstring linen pants. Every single day. Basically pajamas but no one has to know. Enough said.

How to raise an adult

It occurred to me that I could mine my Goodreads reviews for the days (like today) when I don't know what to write about. I read How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims a year ago. At first I thought the book wasn't super applicable to me, since I am not exorbitantly wealthy, and I am not particularly planning to try to send my kids to Ivy League schools. On the other hand, I live in an area with a robust public school system where many kids do make it to top schools, and two of my kids are on the "advanced academic" track in their elementary school, where, if you eavesdrop at the parent-information meetings, you might wonder if this is high school or if we're really talking about 9-year-olds.

I have thought about what success is going to mean for all of my kids, since they all have different abilities and different goals. Matt and I have always encouraged independence in the kids--they were making their own lunches almost as soon as they knew how to eat them--but I can pinpoint the exact day when this philosophy took root. When I was very pregnant with Polly, we were heading to a restaurant in an unfamiliar neighborhood to eat dinner. We parked on the street across from the restaurant, and as Matt and I, Ida and Lars in hand, waited to cross, Theo darted out right in front of an oncoming car, and the driver slammed on the brakes, narrowly missing him.

Theo was 8 years old. I was shocked that my 8-year-old, with whom I had spent years reciting "Look both ways," did not in fact "look both ways" when it counted. I realized (once my heart slowed back down) that he really had no experience crossing streets all by himself and the only way he would learn the danger would be to face the danger on his own. The very next day, I sent him to walk to school by himself for the first time. This was huge for me. There's no crossing guard, and there's a bit of a blind hill. I held my breath, watching through the window from a block away, while he slowly looked left, slowly looked right, and safely crossed. I collapsed onto the couch in agony and Matt observed, "Wait until it's time for him to drive a car."

Anyway, here was my review.

***

April 8, 2019

This took me a few months to get through, mainly because I was reading multiple books at the same time. I loved it—and not just because I went into it already agreeing with her parenting approach of letting kids succeed and fail on their own. (Matt asked me “is your hand tired from patting yourself on the back so much?”)

Yes, my kids are super independent compared to some of their peers, and always have been, but I actually feel a little uncomfortable about it sometimes, because I don’t want other parents, or teachers or coaches, to think I’m being lazy, or worse, neglectful. For example, for numerous reasons, the most important of which is to build her independence and confidence, my 10-year-old daughter rides her bike to soccer practice twice a week. After a few weeks, another mom on the team texted me and said she’d be happy to drive her. It was nice of her, but I was somehow mortified.

Why do I feel that way? As long as I think I’m doing right by my kids, that should be what matters. But I am hard on myself anyway. I think in part because one of my kids has special needs and serious executive functioning issues, I struggle a bit with how much to step in and how much to let him suffer natural consequences.

One thing I particularly loved was the author’s recommendation to encourage kids to get to know faculty in high school and college—taking advantage of office hours, for example, and finding their own academic mentors. I remember my sophomore-ish year in college, I needed a faculty recommendation for a program I was applying to. I asked one of my professors, who refused because she said she didn’t know me well enough. I never forgot that, and I purposely went to office hours and interacted more with my professors from then on.

My own parents, who had 6 kids to worry about, raised us all to be independent, and they didn’t particularly encourage or forbid any extracurricular activities (other than piano and church, which were required). They restricted TV and encouraged books. I’m terrible at all sports, and I was a B+ average student particularly in college. But I roller-skated and biked all over town; and I read a million books; and I went to college; and I have 5 built-in friends in my siblings; and I always knew I was loved; and I’ll never stop being grateful for any of that.

***

P.S. It's funny how normal it was for Ida to ride her bike to soccer practice and swim practice a year ago, and how much I long for her to have a place to ride her bike to now! Our swim team season was just officially canceled. I'm not surprised at all, just a little sad. Northern Virginia is still far from being open--the state of Virginia is starting "phase one" of re-opening this week, but our county and the surrounding counties will not be on the same timetable--and I do feel a little adrift in my parenting. For the first time I think I understand why parents might not have felt safe in normal times, sending their 10-year-olds out alone. My kids still want to go out alone ("out" meaning beyond our neighborhood, which they always did pre-pandemic), but I wonder if someone will lecture them, or think their parents don't know where they are, or worst of all feel unsafe themselves seeing them. Anyway, just thinking about that and wondering when I'll feel OK about letting them go play out of my sight again. Sooner than later, I hope.

If I were a man...I’d be The Man

I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift’s new album nonstop (in between spins of Vampire Weekend’s new album) and I’m not mad about it.

After Jenn died I got super into Reputation because Jenn loved her some T-Swift. (Also got pretty into all Lady Gaga classics, for the same reason.) The funny thing is that I really didn’t listen to her music at all before that, and I kinda went from zero to 60. I know I’ve written about this before, but it just felt particularly apropos today as my girls and I danced our hearts out to “I Think He Knows,” “Paper Rings,” “Cornelia Street.” Can’t stop, won’t stop. 

“Death by a Thousand Cuts” in particular is on repeat because it’s sad and I’ve felt a little sad this week, but also because it, like ALL other songs on the album (except “The Archer” amirite? Snooze-fest) is great for lip-sync battles with one’s children. (Although perhaps “I get drunk but it’s not enough” is ill-advised...) Even the cheesiest songs are good for this. “You know I love a London boy, I enjoy walking Camden market in the afternoon...”

All right, that’s all I had to say. Go about your business. But for heaven’s sake, put on Lover while you do. (Or Father of the Bride, because that one is catchy as heck too.)

P.S. Re: my title. Taylor sings "If I was a man." The grammar police can't condone this thoughtless rejection of the subjunctive mood. If I WERE A MAN, Taylor.

The good old days

I got the itch to go through allllll my digital photos. I can't remember what triggered it. Summer, I guess. The need for a project, despite having a ton of real stuff to do. I just sat down and started going through them, deleting extras like gangbusters, and a week later I have emerged a little dazed, but triumphant. I've only gotten through the end of 2015, but that's the first 12 years of our marriage, so I'm feeling pretty good about that effort. I have deleted thousands of photos, my friends.

THOU!

ZENDS!

And yet, I still have thousands of keepers.

It has been really fun, and has also hurt just a tiny bit, to go through these. Watching my four babies grow up in front of my eyes again, on a micro level. It's fun and it hurts and it stretches my heart until it can't stretch anymore.

Want to know what else I did...? I ordered a photo book. AND I'm contemplating getting my blog printed too.

I'm having all the Creative Memories feels. (please remember Creative Memories)

Now the videos are another story... But I'll get to those someday.

Liked it

I really liked this article about high-functioning autism. Like, a lot. I actually said "YES!" out loud.

Why High-Functioning Autism Is So Challenging

Enjoy! Haha. I mean it's not that "enjoyable" but it just felt so relatable to me. And enlightening. So... Relate! (I hope :)

Putrid throat

Polly got croup and then Matt got pneumonia and then I got... Something. I don't know what you want to call it (maybe putrid throat... Poldark reference) but it felt like it could be croup and/or pneumonia and it knocked me down pretty good for a while. It's Sunday night and I've pretty much been in bed since Thursday night. OK, yesterday afternoon I got up for a few hours and then this afternoon I forced myself out of bed from about 2 pm to 7 pm. Oh and I showered yesterday. Hoping that tomorrow I'll be ready to face real life. And maybe even shower again.

In the meantime, I sure am grateful that since Friday afternoon, Matt has taken care of all the kids and the house and the grocery shopping and making dinner and church and anything else that might come up, so that I could stay in bed that whole time.

I'd like to say I've been sleeping, but in all honesty I have spent most of the time watching TV on my iPad. With a little bit of reading. OK and some napping. I rarely make time for TV shows (which I'm fine with) and also don't make much time for reading books (I'm not fine with that). Now I'm almost done with The Audacity of Hope (LOVING IT), and in between reading, I binged pretty much every random TV show or web show I came across that looked interesting. (Gilmore Girls reboot... Poldark... A Different World... Drunk History.) And some things that looked interesting but turned out to be super overrated. (e.g., This Is Us. sorry if you're a fan!) I think my brain might be ready for a rest from the screen time. I kinda feel myself turning into an iPad zombie of sorts.

Next up: Monday!

Thanks for the moon.

I'm kind of a freak for the night sky. Always have been. And I love a good moon. So does Theo. He LOVES the moon and always seems to know what phase it's in and whether it's waxing or waning and what all of that is supposed to mean.

Tonight the kids and I ventured out in our PJs and coats to check out the supermoon. It was cloudy, so unfortunately we didn't see much, though we did see a vague outline. It was nothing compared some of the incredible harvest moons we've witnessed together over the years. Hearing the kids scream with glee at a good harvest moon brings a lot of joy to this sky-loving heart of mine.

I should probably learn more about the night sky, but oh well. I just love it and that's enough for me.

When we got home from our night walk we read the books Kitten's First Full Moon and Grandfather Twilight together. Both somewhat "little kid" choices, but they ate it up. Lars even sat on my lap. Thanks for a lovely evening, moon!



*Other moony choices for little kids (or big kids who like little-kid stuff) include Happy Birthday, Moon (I wonder whether this book's author experimented with hallucinogens) and Harold and the Purple Crayon.

*I also recommend this really sweet movie, La Misma Luna (Under the Same Moon).

Thanks for the love

I'm so thankful for bright spots of love in the world that I come upon from time to time. It's inspiring, really. I need these little bursts when it feels like I'm in the dark. I felt a lot of that love at church today. Burst after burst. Preach it, Paul McCartney: In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.

h/t to my girl jenbosen.com