Please consider these action ideas, many of which you may already be practicing, and resolve with me to make our circles at church more open, more generous, and more holy.
If they seem obvious to you: great! You're probably already doing these things! If they seem suspect or like overkill to you, maybe examine why.
TL; DR:
4) Apologize when I offend someone, even accidentally.
5) Speak up when witnessing racist statements or events.
6) Practice "comfort and cleanup" skills (thanks to Dr. LaShawn Williams for this concept)
4) "Now, it came to pass that when I had heard these words I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren"
I care deeply for my fellow humans. I do not want to hurt anyone.
We don't want to hurt each other. We don't want to offend each other. And if we didn't MEAN to hurt or offend each other, it boggles our mind that we could do so accidentally. They are being so sensitive! If I could just EXPLAIN what I really meant...
Action: If someone at church who belongs to a different race tells me that I have offended them by something I have said or done, I am going to apologize and listen. Full stop. God knows my intent. The person I offended only feels the impact, and they don't actually need me to explain my intent in detail. Maybe I can explain my intent to them later, once I've understood the impact I made and if we have come to an understanding and a forgiveness. But honestly? Once I've understood the impact, and we've come to an understanding and a forgiveness, my urgent need to explain why "I didn't mean it that way" will probably dissipate. *note to self: this is probably a good process to follow whenever I offend someone about anything...
5) "This is Zion—the pure in heart; therefore, let Zion rejoice, while all the wicked shall mourn"
I actually meant to put this verse in my first post because I'm using it ironically, but it got lost in the shuffle. If Zion is the pure in heart, then "racist" is a label for the wicked, and that's not me, right?!
The above video is a thoughtful and funny version of the "intent versus impact" principle: it explores a conversation focusing on "what a person did" versus a conversation about "who a person is."
Action: As a lifelong habit that goes hand-in-hand with listening to my Black friends and taking note of what seemingly innocuous statements said by me or someone else are actually racist: If I notice something racist at church, or in a conversation surrounding church, I will point it out. If I am afraid or caught off guard and don't point it out in the moment, I will take some time soon afterward and point it out privately in the way I deem appropriate for my relationship with the person (some form of "X sounded racist because Y"). And I will focus on the action or the words, rather than speculating anything aloud, or in my heart, about the person's character or intent. Not only because there's no way for me to know someone's intent, but also because if I accuse someone of bad intentions ("You are racist!"), they'll block me out, and rightly so, because I'm acting like I know their heart when I don't.
Side note: A white person is not going to be the expert on antiracism, but don't be afraid to speak up anyway. If another white person says they don't need to listen to what you say about racism because you're white, just absorb that. It's fine. You're white, but that doesn't mean you can't talk about race in a helpful way, if you are using what you've learned from Black people, and for that matter what you've learned from people of any race or ethnicity. You have a unique voice and unique circles that only you can touch. You'll stumble and that's fine too. Black Saints should not be bearing this burden alone.
6) "And now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort"
This is boilerplate Mormonism. One of our most famous scriptures. We want to be there for each other. Help and serve. Cry together. Hug each other.
She offered this Action: I will practice my "comfort and cleanup" skills. In a situation where a white person says or does something that is racist, and a Black person is hurt (this could be a comment in a lesson, or it could be a talk, or it could be a casual conversation), as a bystander we may or may not be confident enough to say something in the moment. We may or may not be brave enough to talk to the person who said the harmful thing. But either way, we can "comfort and clean up" by reaching out to the person who was a victim of the harmful words or actions. Letting them know that we witnessed it, showing them we care, asking them if they want to talk about it, but not pushing anything on them in a white savior sort of way. Following the Spirit to continue in the "comfort and cleanup" in the way that the people of Alma promised to do. This may also apply in any situation where we believe our Black friend may be suffering from any racist or racially charged incident, either personally or in the news.
Another note which is maybe kind of tangential but I'm putting it in anyway because I like it: this can also include developing a resolve to speak up about racism sooner in the future, and also a resolve to be mindful about weaving in this topic at church in the future, not because I have an Agenda, but because I don't want our awareness to be a passing trend. Over the pulpit (in a prayer or a testimony or a talk), in a lesson (with kids or adults), in a meeting (presidency, council, what have you).
*The key to doing this effectively is: be sincere, and put your "money" where your mouth is. If I have shown to my fellow members that I am dedicated--in my callings, in my service, in my testimony--then it's less likely I'll be dismissed as Just Someone with an Agenda.
**And by that logic, if I am anxiously engaged in the gospel and truly want the best for the church community, then it's less likely I'll be Just Someone with an Agenda. (This tweet from Luvvie Ajayi Jones about Dennis Rodman, and her Instagram caption, made me lol and illustrates a little bit of what I mean.)(Can you handle my tangents?? If you've made it this far: looks like you can.)
More soon.
*
Series:
Part 1: Unspotted from the world
Part 2: Seek ye diligently
Part 3: Mourn with those that mourn
Part 4: In much patience
Part 5: "Come here" and "go there"
1 comment:
I really like the part about comfort and clean up - I can do that!!
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