I was telling Matt tonight that today was one of those days where every ounce of energy in my body, and then some--no idea where I got the extra--was spent taking care of Theo and me, basically making sure we were clothed and fed and safe and alive. Not a lot of relaxing, and yet not much to show for the day other than the fact that we are clothed and fed and safe and alive. Plus now there's #2 to take care of also, not that it's that hard yet given the fact that #2 is about the size of a lemon, but it does throw a wrench into things.
Anyway I wasn't really trying to complain. It wasn't a bad day. It just used up my energy. And actually even bad days can be nice in the long run. They help me appreciate the easy days, and plus it feels good to work hard. This may sound kind of silly because like I said, there's really not much to show for today even though physically it kind of feels like I have been digging ditches all afternoon. I should add that our morning was actually fun, and then it was nap time (granted Theo cut that short for some mysterious reason), and so it was really just the afternoon and early evening that made it seem like the whole day was hard.
My need to vent was compounded by the fact that I had just spent an hour in in rainy, rush-hour traffic, which of course was my own fault for being out and about during rush hour, but when I measured the risks, it beat being stuck inside or shivering in the freezing rain at the park--by the way, I don't ever want to hear anyone complain about traffic when they are sitting alone or with only adults in the car--and Theo and I were both hungry.
This is the type of day that makes you reach for the warm, fuzzy, Bonnie D. Parkin type talks and quotes that remind you of how important your work is and press on and all of that. I know people complain about those quotes (I have been known to do so) because who are moms of toddlers to need so much pampering? I have worked at a few different jobs, and I have to say, in this particular job, the proportion of hard days to joyful, simple, awe-inspiring moments is downright ridiculous. I don't have to list the other perks, but let's just say that a daily nap is one of them. What am I going to do when he gives up his nap . . . hopefully he'll be in school by then. ha! By the way this talk is a must-read. I said it's A Must-Read.
Anyway, the point of all this is that I am somewhat hormonemotional, which is a word I just made up, and so it only takes a little thing like Matt offering to take Theo to mutual with him so that I have an hour's break to make me tear up and thank my lucky, lucky stars for this lucky, lucky life.
Apparently my sliding glass door needs cleaning. Anyone . . . anyone . . .
24 comments:
Don't forget, have a little munchkin growing inside of you uses up the same energy daily as it would to hike up a mountain - every single day. You totally have a right to be exhausted!!!!
*hugs*
If you need any grown up company, let me know!
Believe it or not - and I didn't believe it when the likes of Donna Hanke and Carol Thomas used to tell me - these are really the "easy" years.
Just remember I told you first!!
shanae, you're the best ;)
oh babs...you're not the first to tell me. bonny has told me this often. although you may have told me already before, too.
would you say that physically, taking care of toddlers is more exhausting than taking care of school-aged kids or teenagers? it seems like as they got older you'd have different, more dramatic, more life-changing worries but you would get to sit down once in a while . . . if only in the driver's seat of the minivan.
oh well, i guess there's no turning back now either way, might as well not think about it!!
second comment along those lines: i believe people when they tell me it gets harder. but kind of in the way that i believe people who say college is harder than high school, and the rat race is harder than college. i think this is completely true, because it happened that way for me. high school was a piece of cake in comparison to ensuing challenges. but would i ever want to go back? nope!
can you tell a lot of people tell me "it gets harder"? ;)
Isn't is nice to have a husband who "gets it" when you say you are tired and will gladly give you a break. One of my fondest memories of when Vickie was a baby was one morning I woke up and realized it was probably 8:00 (late when you have a newborn). I got up and went to check on her and Greg was sitting on the floor of her bedroom reading the newspaper and holding her. It still makes me smile to know he realized taking care of a baby wasn't always easy.
It is physically exhausting to have small children - but you are in charge - in control - and as they get older, so many more people and things can get in your way.
And that lack of control is scary - and sometimes overwhelming.
But being in charge is also overwhelming.
I remember when the first earthquake hit - I thought, "Yikes, I am in charge here!!"
So I guess it's tough all the way around.
Fortunately with age comes a realization that you really can make it - you've made it that far.
Which is why a 2nd baby is easier than the first - in spite of having another one to care for also.
I feel for you. I don't know which I would rather have.... being pregnant and sick or taking care of my little "sweet" alost 2 year old plus 3. I think I would take the kids.
Pregnancy is hard. And sometimes you just need the sympathy of others to make it thru one day. I hope things go better.
thanks pam and amy.
and mom, i appreciate the comment about how with age comes the realization that you can make it. i don't see how warning people about the future being harder, is at all helpful now. no offense! i mean maybe it could put things into perspective sometimes, but overall it's really more discouraging than anything.
I think women have been giving one another advice since the dawn of time.
We don't want anyone saying, "Why didn't you tell me??"
don't worry...i certainly won't be saying that!
Whatever the child/ren's age, I cannot help but stand in awe at the immense effort that goes into raising children. As wonderful as it has the potential to be, I am suffering under no delusions about how challenging it actually is.
If I were in the area, I'd drop by to clean your sliding door. Feel free to fly me in from Monrovia, though! :-)
I don't know what I'll do when Jacob no longer takes his afternoon nap. Probably go crazy. It is amazing how recharged I feel after some time to myself.
Glad you got a little bit of time to yourself last night. Heaven knows you deserve it!
Oh, Eliza, you have just described many of my days. I agree with your mom, that we need each others support. I was so depressed this morning and begged and pleaded to go into labor today, but instead the Lord sent me three phone calls from three different friends encouraging me to hang in there, plus my mother was here to rub my feet and shoulders and basically sympathize with me. I recieved email messages from three others (including you). I was given, through others the strength to make it through one more day. Life with toddlers, preschools and the fatique of being pregnant can be overwhelming and exhausting. It's such a relief to have even just one kind gesture of sympathy shown.
Congrats on #2- that is really exciting... no wonder you are tired!
Thanks for the link to the Talk from President Hinckley. What wonderful and encouraging words!
I don't think having younger kids is harder than older kids, its just a different hard.
That being said, I did love those days of just Henry. They were fun.
But it is always nice to think about about the "good old days" and forget the difficult times.
heehee... did you know my labor started exactly the same way? Great minds think alike;)
i did know, because it was a comment from you on my blog back when i was several days overdue, that led me to try it! and lo and behold i went into labor.
Hi Eliza -- This is Melissa Dunn, your old iSchool chum from way back in '06! Anyway, I totally love your blog and am a total lurker! Anyway, congrats on #2 -- I'm pregnant too with our first and love reading about your pregnancy too! I too have crazy dreams, am utterly exhausted and hormonemotional all the time! Anyway, talk to you soon! BTW, when are you due?!
congrats on #2...like I said, I've missed so much! Hope you'll get some energy back soon!
Melissa! Congrats on your pregnancy, yay! We will totally have to swap stories. Do you have a blog or just your work one? I guess we could e-mail or facebook, wouldn't be that hard, I am just lazy and responding to all of this in a comment! When are you due? I am due October 8. So, that probably translates to roughly November 8...just kidding. Like most people, I will only go 2 weeks over, but especially because I am going to attempt a VBAC. It will probably feel like a month if I go that far overdue, though.
Meredith, don't feel bad about not keeping up on blogs. It means you are normal, leading a normal life! To be honest, when I go several days without checking blogs, I just delete all the new entries in my RSS feeds. It takes too long to catch up. Then I think, "hmmm, maybe I spend too much time reading these in the first place." But I can't resist staying in touch with family and old friends.
After naps come quiet time for an hour and a half and it is lovely! Congrats on baby #2! It really isn't that much more work than baby #1, except for the first few months of having them inside you and first few having them outside you. I'm excited for you!
Hey! I don't currently have a blog but send me an e-mail at melissadunn915@gmail.com! We'll totally have to swap pregnancy stories, especially since you've been through this before. ; ) I'm due Nov. 19, so you're about a month ahead of me! The first trimester is tough (migraine headaches and severe nausea anyone?) but I'm optimistic it will get better! ; )
Can't wait to hear from you!!!
hold on a minute there... you forgot to add you could muster up the energy to BLOG! Na, totally kidding. So good you got your feelings out. As far as napping goes, I'm a big fan. So much so that I have scheduled my kids' at the exact same time (even though Anna is 3) That's just her quiet time while mommy sleeps. She does have her own room which makes it easier but soon she will go to preschool and I can still catch some zzzz. I'm just one of those people who need like 10 hours of sleep even when not pregnant.
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