Nursing Polly has been totally different from nursing all my other kids. It has just worked. (Minus the mastitis 4 times but let's not dwell on that.) It just comes second nature to both of us. And while my other kids all weaned themselves, she doesn't seem like she's really going to, so I feel like I have to take the reins. I'm not really ready, but then again I'm also kind of ready. (Mostly I'm ready not to be in a meeting or something and her putting her hands down my shirt while yelling "Wan nee? Nee? NEE???") Also I'm going on my first trip without her in like... 4 weeks... and I'd rather she and I not be completely traumatized, so I'm trying to do it slowly.
Anyway, so I started giving her milk in a cup during the day, and I just nurse her in the morning and at night. She has taken right to it. The first day I decided to do it, she asked to nurse and I filled up a little cup, sat with her in my lap and she drank the whole thing down. While I sat and cried and felt a little bit empty even with her right there in my arms.
It's what's supposed to happen and it is what I want for her. I want her to grow up and have an independent happy life. I know I still have years and years with her, and the snuggles and love and connection won't go anywhere. But then I glance over at my tall gangly Theo and realize those years and years with Polly are actually (poof) almost gone.
Don't mind me while I tearily read some poetry to myself... It's how I cope. This is one of my favorite poems. UGH, MY BABIES!!! I want you to grow and I also don't want you to grow.
The Weaning
by Carol Lynn Pearson
There is cloth now
Between you
And my breast --
Cloth
And a little pain.
This is the
Beginning.
I take your face
In my hands
and guide your gaze
Away, out there --
To the fruit trees,
To the stars.
My arms,
Though empty,
Fold comfort
To a mother-heart
That yearns for nursing,
Yet knows that weaning
Is the bigger part.
by Carol Lynn Pearson
There is cloth now
Between you
And my breast --
Cloth
And a little pain.
This is the
Beginning.
I take your face
In my hands
and guide your gaze
Away, out there --
To the fruit trees,
To the stars.
My arms,
Though empty,
Fold comfort
To a mother-heart
That yearns for nursing,
Yet knows that weaning
Is the bigger part.
1 comment:
All my babies - except you - weaned themselves. The dr. suggested weaning you - it wasn't really great advice because you didn't like it - I think giving you a little more time to make the choice yourself might have been better - but who knows? I once read, in some parenting book I'm sure, that the right time to wean was when either party wanted to! Maybe they were right. But what about when a third party dictates?
Post a Comment