You keep using that word

Image by Micah Player

Today I have been thinking about two of my most memorable college classes: Communications Theory and History of Civilizations.

Comms theory was particularly memorable because I had to retake it after getting a D the first time (my freshman year was rough, OK! I had to retake a few classes...). 

I specifically remember learning about semiotics, or the study of signs/symbols and their interpretations. An American flag, a Star of David, a traffic light, a dove, a thermometer... etc. etc., they are at once an image and a multilayered statement. Anyway. That class was also when I learned the word "paradigm." 

(I remember asking the TA, "You keep using that word... what in the world does it mean??")

History of Civ was a two-parter, and I really loved part two (1500-present), where the professor used various novels, films, and nonfiction books as our texts. One of the texts was the book Imagined Communities, a book by Benedict Anderson that explores nationalism as a... you guessed it... community that exists in our imagination, a social construct.

I saw the above image today posted by one of my favorite illustrators, Micah Player, and immediately my thoughts turned back to those two classes. Ever since I was very young, and certainly when I was my most fresh-faced and optimistic as a college-age kid, the Statue of Liberty has communicated layers of meaning to me about justice, bravery, opportunity, First Amendment freedoms... maybe even our friends the French. ;) And another layer I learned about in college: Emma Lazarus’s poem that’s engraved inside the statue’s pedestal, “The New Colossus.” 

Ultimately all of those concepts together form a three-dimensional image that, perhaps next to the American flag and maybe fireworks (runner up: bald eagle), is the most iconic, most recognizable symbol of modern democracy modern democratic constitutional republic that I can think of. 

It hadn't particularly occurred to me that it might mean something else to other Americans, something more exclusive, something more narrow... like, concentrated presidential power or white Christian nationalism or isolationism or the prosperity gospel or “curated” opinion sections in a national newspaper. 

But “America” can mean whatever anyone wants it to mean. 

I just really don't think it means what those people think it means.

Thanks for the memories

I had this random memory when I poured myself a bowl of cereal today…

When I was 19, I studied abroad in Vienna, Austria: a foundational experience for me. Everything about that experience, even the most difficult stuff, has taken on a sparkly sheen in my memory, and it’s all happy.

One difficult thing about my time in Vienna was that I didn’t have a lot of spending money, and I also didn’t have much of a food budget. The woman who hosted me in her home for the semester was obligated to provide me and my roommates daily breakfast and one dinner a week, and she did not offer beyond that. So I tried my best to stuff myself at breakfast so that I could last until dinner. 

Every single day, breakfast consisted of cornflakes and whole milk, a variety of breads and rolls, spreadable cheese, and jam. I used to eat as many bowls of cornflakes as I could stand, and then fold up the rolls and cheese and jam packets into napkins and stuff them in my backpack for lunch. (Random aside: sometimes I would buy a bell pepper at the market and make a bell pepper and cream cheese sandwich for my lunch. I did that a lot.)

Up until that point I had never regularly drunk whole milk; I grew up drinking 2%, and got in the habit of drinking skim in college. I still don’t drink whole milk that often; Matt always buys it, but I get 2% at normal grocery stores and only buy whole at Costco because Costco whole milk is delicious (I don’t make the rules).

Anyway so that is a long background to tell you that today I ate a bowl of cornflakes with Costco whole milk, and it transported me to 27 Mariahilferstraße in the fall of 2002. Some of my very best memories. Some of my hungriest memories, but man. What a life.

Thanks for my college.

Did you have as much fun in college as I did? Maybe you did. Or maybe you didn't.

I am so thankful for my time in college. I know BYU isn't for everyone, but it sure was for me. Not even including the super-important stuff evident in this picture, like how I rented my computer (the dorms rented out refurbished used PCs with minuscule hard drives) and used it primarily to chat on AIM and download songs from Napster. Class of 2000 forever! The hard drive could only hold about a hundred songs at a time, so I rotated through.

Besides that, I also made lifelong friends, met my husband, discovered some of my very favorite books which I still love and reread and cry over to this day (The House of Mirth, I'm looking at you), certified as a lifeguard which was one of the harder things I'd made myself do, and got my first job in a library, which led me later to become a librarian. I learned how to run. (Not until my senior year.) And I gained the requisite "Freshman 15" by eating waffles and donuts every day for 9 months. And I lived in Europe for a semester. And occasionally I went to class. 

I lived in that bubble for 4 years, and these days I can see pretty clearly what a bubble it was, but I'm thankful for that aspect of it too. I'm very thankful that my parents made it possible for me to go in the first place by handing me an application; waking me up at 5 am to register for classes over the phone; and paying my way.

I wouldn't say I "grew up" at BYU, because for me I think that came later. Or maybe it hasn't actually come yet, who knows. But I started to grow up there. I wouldn't trade my memories and lessons and experiences at BYU for anything.

wondering

I wonder if you'd be able to tell how old I am by looking at my blog.

Cause I'm thinking, at first glance, by the fact that I'm listening to John Mayer, reading Anne of Green Gables and watching Billy Madison...and posting about how much I love teen girl movies...people could jump to the Island of Conclusions mighty quickly.

Plus that Phantom Tollbooth reference makes it even more likely that I'm 12.

Well...if you DON'T know...I guess you'll just have to keep wondering!

haha.

P.S. Hannah...Nicole...just pretend that other people read this.

Happy birthday to me...yesterday! It was a good day. Hester took me to breakfast at Mimi's, then we studied and took a final, then I went to work, then I went to P.F. Chang's with Matt, Matt's parents and Matt's grandma, then Matt and I went to Target (always exciting for me, never for Matt), and then we watched Big Fish. That was the second time I've seen it, but I still liked it a lot. It's the kind of movie that makes you want to go out and do something with your life.

And...now I have just one more paper left to write in my college career. Boo yeah! Except I have no idea what I'm going to write. 3 pages though...I think I can handle it.

Anyway, sorry I haven't blogged in forever, I was busy getting a 46 on my biology final. haha...that was embarrassing. I just didn't want to study for it, so I took it cold, and that was a horrible idea. I'm pretty sure I aced the other three I took though. And who knows how my 495 paper turned out (the one on Harriet Jacobs) - we'll see on Wednesday.

OK. Sorry for the random post. Wanted to let you know I'm still alive, and 21.

P.S., congrats to my dad on Boston Marathon #2!

Love: M*A*S*H
Music: Hear Me Out - Ben Kweller

Anything but studying

Whatever you do, DON'T type "blgospot" instead of "blogspot" by accident! It's a bad idea, unless you want 25 pop-up ads within SECONDS! hahaa....

Missed the bus again this morning, I think I've missed it more than I've caught it. The sad thing is, I had time before that to watch Regis & Kelly (Kelly Ripa is a lot funnier than she seems.), Dawson's Creek, Saved by the Bell, Janet Reno's 9/11 hearing, Sharon Osbourne's horrible talk show (seriously, don't even try it out), M*A*S*H, Livin' it Up! with Ali and Jack, and Barney (yes, Barney). I didn't watch all of these all the way through, of course...just flipped a lot for a few hours, only to miss the 11:24 bus, which means I had to walk to work, which means I was late to meet Hannah, which means her hatred for me still festers. Anyway, the point is that I'm done with classes and I just don't want to do ANYTHING! I'm not a TV junkie, I'm just sort of in the vegging-before-finals mood. It's not crunch time yet.

While we're at it, I'm not sure if I should admit that I watched "Corrina Corrina" last night. Twice.

And of course tonight after work I watched Scrubs and checked out LDS blogs while Matt dutifully studied. And continues to study. Bah.

Music: I'm having a hard time with this category as of late, because every time I sign in to blog, I'm reminded of the Shins song. Time to change that one.
Love: my work...I'm going to miss it. Also, it's kind of been a fun 2 days just hanging out before finals smack me in the face.

Not writing my essays

haha, here's my mug shot!

Ah, to have long hair again... I look so happy to be in front of that camera. Well, closer to stoned, I guess.



Also, I think this picture marks the one day of my life I wore a sweater vest. My hair is approximately...6 inches shorter than that now. I just ordered my cap and gown (late, of course, so I had to pay $10 extra - where does this money go?? Does it really cost $35.00 to make and maintain a freaking black dress and hat? Also, I felt like a dork measuring my own head.), and I was checking my "personal information" to see if my address was correct, and I noticed this lovely shot of me. I didn't realize my eyes had twinkly white dots in the centers.

I definitely go on blog binges. I don't blog for like a week, then all of a sudden BAM! 5 blogs within a day. Don't tell anyone, but I really should be writing an essay right now. 2, actually. The ones I was planning to write earlier, and now it's 12:41, yet still I find other things to do. Like measure the circumference of my head. And make seven-layer dip, which I just finished doing, and now my whole apartment smells like guacamole and olives. But these things need to be done, okay? If I don't do them, who will?

I enjoy this snapshot of Hannah, Noah and me 2 Christmases ago. We all look like vampires. I honestly didn't realize how pale and horrible we all seemed to look that day. Maybe the overabundance of red made it worse. Not only that, but Hannah's eyes are scary, Noah's grin is scary, and my teeth somehow look as yellow as my hair. I swear they're not. And my hair is not nearly that yellow anymore. Also, I think I had gotten my wisdom teeth out earlier that week. That must account for something.



On that lovely note, I'm going to go write essays now!

Utterly simple idea

Thought I'd republish this quote from June 14th, 2003. I was re-reading old blogs (distracting myself from my history paper, natuerlich) and I liked this. I think I found it when I was doing research for my term paper for my science fiction class.

"To my mind, there must be at the bottom of it all, not an utterly simple equation, but an utterly simple idea. And to me that idea, when we finally discover it, will be so compelling, and so inevitable, so beautiful, we will say to each other, 'How could it have ever been otherwise?'"
-Professor John Wheeler, PBS science documentary, "The Creation of the Universe"

Music: Someone Keeps Moving My Chair - They Might be Giants. "Some--one-- keeps-- mo--ving-- my--hy--hy-- chair..."
Love: Thin Mint ice cream

Evil kangaroo

Good evening, everyone!

I would just like to point out that a week from today, it will be April. And three weeks after that, I will have a bachelor's degree.

Someone just farted in here and it smells. Bad. People, just walk outside when you need to do that! Please, for our own sanity!

I was on pollhost.com just now (changing my poll - finally) and there was a banner ad at the top claiming that if I shot the evil kangaroo, I'd win a free digital camera. So I couldn't help it, I shot the evil kangaroo! He looked so sinister! But I didn't win a digital camera.

Music: Know Your Onion! - The Shins
Love: peanut M&Ms, my official testing center snack

Quote of the Day: "Eliza, I've got to tell you, your hair reminds me of Reba McIntire's." - J.P. Melzer



Ouch. I think NOT! haha. I do love Reba though, and I told Jake that. And I would love to have a body like hers when I'm her age. But I assure you, my hair doesn't really look like that. It's much hipper. And not quite so red. More like blonde. Ish. Blondish brownish. And it's not as long as Reba's in that picture.

So I just stood and ate a tuna sandwich in front of one of the curators, and he didn't even say anything to me! haha. Well not like he would. Maybe he'll bring it up in some Big Meeting and I'll get in trouble!

So I talked to my boss today about writing me a letter of recommendation - like my boss's boss, that is. It felt like a job interview. "So, Eliza, can you tell me about a time you showed initiative at work?" "Um...don't you know all I do is eat tuna sandwiches?" Just kidding. Anyway, it was nerve-wracking.

This post goes out to Nicole.

Music: The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia- Reba McIntire
Love: I'm in a good mood EVEN THOUGH I missed the bus today - like BARELY! Like, picture me running just behind the bus with my arms outstretched, screaming, "No, NOOO!!!"

Ack! I'm blogging again! haha, one month later.

I just really needed to publish the Utah Baby Namer. Seriously, this is funny. My favorite is the "Cream of the Crop" list. Even though I'm a little skeptical of some of these names. Would parents really name a kid "DaLinda LaDale" or "Clitoris"? Apparently so. Have these parents ever taken an anatomy class? Apparently not. Is it even appropriate for me to be repeating that name in my blog?

24 days until Christmas! 17 days until I'm DONE with school FOREVER...until January. hahaha.

P.S. "Matchstick Men" was good. "Master and Commander", on the other hand...oh boy. Make sure you bring candy or a Game Boy or something else to keep you awake during that one. No offense to the ever-contending Oscar contender Russell C.

Dudes! I'm back! hahahaha. Now, on almost the 4-week anniversary of the last time I blogged.

So anyway, not much has happened since then, actually. I'm still engaged. The party will commence December 27th at approximately 6:30 p.m., after we get married at 11. And YOU'RE ALL INVITED! haha. Meaning Hannah and Nicole. And Katie, of course, if you even ever still read this! Speaking of which, Katie, I need to call you re: your potential trip to Utah. We need to make some plans if you're still going to come!

Anyway, so basically my life now consists of class, work, studying, and The Party on December 27th. I already have a dress, but that's about it. Woo hoo! My colors are different shades of reddish pinkish purplishes, if that's vague enough for you. And I want reddish pinkish purplish calla lilies and roses. Boo yeah.

So seriously, don't ever take 4 lit classes at one time. It's way too much reading, writing and searching for themes! Right now I'm taking contemporary American lit (1960-present), Shakespeare, later British lit (19th & 20th centuries) and an entire class devoted to the poetry and plays of William Butler Yeats. Also D&C. I like most of the stuff I'm reading though. For example, the D&C. haha. Also: American Short Story Masterpieces. Very good. Or Blue Skin of the Sea, by Graham Salisbury, also good. Or Running in the Family by Michael Ondaatje (author of The English Patient), also good. Then there's Frankenstein by Mary Shelley - kinda freaky. Plays by W.B. Yeats, which are very freaky and HE'S freaky. He was like a magician or something. Also I've read a bunch of Romantic poetry, i.e. Wordsworth, which I thoroughly enjoy. So far in my Shakespeare class we've read Much Ado About Nothing - which, by the way, is my new favorite movie and I continue to love Kenneth Branagh and Denzel Washington - and The Taming of the Shrew, my new favorite Shakespeare comedy. Even though we had to talk about whether it was politically correct for an hour this morning. OK, so it's not politically correct! It's still awesome! haha. I'm a feminist, okay, but I don't think there's anything the matter with loving your husband and being good to him. I guess that's a little general for Taming of the Shrew, but anyway. The point is, I liked the play. It made me want to watch Ten Things I Hate About You again. Even though people in my apartment watch that movie about 3 times a week, haha.

Hannah, do you remember when Mom and Dad made us watch the Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton Taming of the Shrew for family home evening once? hahaha. I remember being like, "What is this?"

This is my life now! Reading. And patronizing SparkNotes in cases like Frankenstein. hahaha. Poor monster, I felt so bad for him. Nobody liked him, just because he was made out of old dead body parts and he went around strangling people.

Anyway, now I'm going to go read some more. I'm trying to get better at blogging! Really! Slowly, yet quite surely.

Music: Back to You - Johnathan Mayer, haha, what if that was his name?
Book: Blue Skin of the Sea
Love: my purple cords; also, the tasty turkey sandwich I made for my lunch; also, writing a decent blog after a month's absence. :)