Friday, January 11, 2013
Little boy, little boy
Theo turned 6 today. (Every age that my oldest child turns, always sounds so old to me!) Last night when I tucked him in bed I told him, as I've told him many times, the story of the day he joined our family. He listened with a huge smile and asked questions. He loves to hear it and I love to tell it.
I wish I could say that Sandy Hook didn't change my entire life because I already lived the way I wanted to, but it did. I think moms of 6-year-olds everywhere must have sobbed that day. Sometimes it's easy to forget how precious a 6-year-old is. I think it's partly because they're pretty independent with the day-to-day stuff, and they start talking back and really strutting their stuff in a way that can drive a person crazy. I remember reading when Theo was tiny that taking care of a baby's every physical need, while exhausting, is the sure way to develop a deep bond. Feeding, changing, cleaning a baby takes so much time and makes you lose so much sleep and they absolutely can't do any of it for themselves. I really think that full-body dependence is what makes babies so irresistible, as backwards as it may sound.
A 6-year-old needs his parents in a completely different way. Anticipating his needs and taking care of them, directing and guiding his emotional and spiritual path, letting him choose how he wants to live--these take less physical effort and much much more thought. And many more tears actually. Preparing him for the world he will soon be a part of--and honestly already is now that he's away from me for 7 hours a day--is a full-time job and I know we're all just getting in deeper and deeper as he grows and (gradually, I hope) loses his innocence. He needs us even when (or especially when) it's not obvious, and we need him even more. He is a treasure to us and vital to our family. We love our precious 6-year-old!
*St. Judy's Comet - Paul Simon
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3 comments:
I understand 100% Happy Birthday Theo!
I can't believe he is 6. He is such a sweet boy. I agree with you about the whole baby thing and the whole growing up thing. With a baby is it simple, but totally exhausting. And, as Owen grows and I try to explain things to him that are more complex I find myself wondering all the time if I'm saying anything right. How to make abstract ideas that he wants answers to make sense. It's tough. I don't want next year to come. I don't want to send him to school. I can hardly stand thinking about putting him on a bus and having someone else be with him more in a day then I get to. I just don't know about the whole thing.
Happy day to sweet Theo - it's always harder to let your first child go - after that it's just easier - except maybe with the last one!! Young parents today seem so much more concerned than I remember us feeling - maybe there is more to be concerned about.
But you are doing a great job - and articulated your thoughts and ideas so well.
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