Ahhhhh...spring cleaning

Once again a photo completely irrelevant to the post's content. But Lars's funny little smile in this picture brings so much joy to my heart. You have no idea.

So. About time for a long, rambly post, wouldn't you say?? (what, you wouldn't?) Over the years I have gone through blog-reading phases. Sometimes I read no blogs at all, sometimes I read way too many, sometimes I read only design blogs or only family blogs or only friend blogs. Currently I am in a phase of subscribing to 1) blogs of family and friends, 2) library science blogs, 3) Primary chorister blogs, and 4) a handful of strangers' blogs that I find interesting and inspiring. Getting a smart phone has really economized my blog-reading habits, which is nice. Two of my favorite "stranger" blogs are Barefoot in the Kitchen and Little Green Notebook.

Since the beginning of this year I have been thinking about how to put my life and my family's life into better order, and two posts from these blogs have been instrumental in getting me on the right track. Blogging is so great! First of these posts that inspired me is from Barefoot in the Kitchen: A New Year, a New Idea. She referred to Julie B. Beck's address at the 2010 BYU Women's Conference. The gist of the talk is found in this quote:

 "I have said lately that women are like lionesses at the gate of the home. Whatever happens in that home and family happens because she cares about it and it matters to her. She guards that gate, and things matter to that family if they matter to her.... Sisters, you are each like the lioness at the gate. This means that there has to be some prioritizing. I was taught years ago that when our priorities are out of order, we lose power. If we need power and influence to carry out our mission, then our priorities have to be straight.
"Years ago I began using a system that works for me, and maybe it will work for you. There was a time when I needed to prioritize, and in one of those sacred meetings between me and the Lord, He gave me three categories that I have worked from, and they have been a guide in my life. The categories are the essential things, the necessary things, and the nice-to-do things." 

You can read the entire talk here to get the details of what she deems "essential," "necessary," and "nice-to-do," (basically along the lines of: spiritual health and family; then housekeeping/work; then hobbies) but everyone can decide that for himself or herself. Mostly I just like how simple it sounds when you put it that way. We all have a million things to do...but not a million "essential" things. Doing those first, followed by the "necessary" things, naturally makes time for as many "nice-to-do" things as I realistically want to do anyway, and I can do them with a clear conscience and a (sort of) clean house.

And my favorite part of the talk: 

"In order to prioritize time wisely, I learned something from my father-in-law years ago. He was a steel-worker and spent his life working three different shifts. He either worked the day shift, the afternoon shift, or the night shift. As a young mother I realized one time that I was working all three shifts, and that’s why I was so tired. We can’t do all things all at once, and we have to be careful and safeguard our shifts.
 "As I have talked to young mothers and mothers with children at home—those with teenagers and young adults especially—they tell me that their most important shift to be at the top of their game, to be the strongest lioness at the gate is the “swing shift.” That’s the afternoon shift. That’s when everyone comes home hungry, tired, needy, and less lovable. It is when you are hungry, tired, needy, and less loveable. It is also the time of day when people are more teachable, when they are most grateful. When we realize and prioritize our time properly, we don’t expect to use all of our strength on the other two shifts so that the afternoon shift can be safeguarded and can be a time of strength and power. We plan for times when the meals are there together, when we can create that home environment and when that family can gather, and you are the strengthening power and force in that family.
 "Remember that influence and power come when we prioritize correctly. If you spend time elsewhere, you don’t have it to give. For other women it might be another time of the day. Some of us have to be on call during the day shift. There are many who need help during the day. Service is needed during the day, but look at and evaluate your life. Ask “Where do I need to prioritize my time?” and “When do I have to be at the top of my game?” I have learned that a good woman with the help of the Lord can usually work two to two and a half shifts. However, no one can work all three shifts. You have to prioritize where you are going to spend your energy." 

I know I've mentioned multiple times that sometime last fall I started putting my kids to bed between 6 and 6:30 p.m. It's not always realistic (and not always pretty) but it happens probably...80% of the time. What I have found by doing that is that--most days--Theo gets off the bus, I immediately start making dinner while he and Ida blow off steam (Lars is usually on my hip if not crawling around chasing a shriveling balloon or some other weird favorite toy of the moment), we eat dinner together and talk, and all three kids take a bath and go to bed immediately after dinner. If it's not way past the 6:30 goal then we read stories together before they all drop off to sleep.

 It is a LOT of work to get this to happen stress-free in 2 or 2 1/2 hours because Matt is not often there to help, but when it happens, it is so wonderful and honestly an answer to prayers. The kids get the sleep they need, their evening meltdowns happen way less frequently than they used to, we all have time to talk together, and I have time after they get in bed to do the other stuff like "putting the house to bed"--which I used to do after dinner while they played, or not do at all because I was way too exhausted from wrangling them--and blogging or working or whatever else I want to do on my own before Matt gets home. Knowing that I can do all this stuff once they're in bed and still have time for myself takes the pressure off the late afternoon somehow and I really think we are all 100% happier than we used to be during those tough hours.

I want to add here that I know the 6:00 bedtime won't be realistic forever. Theo's starting kindergarten in just 6 months. But I can still enjoy it for now!

 So as far as the "necessary" things go...cleaning and whatnot...I have been pretty much avoiding that for the past year or so but lately, especially now that I have gotten rid of so much junk and things actually have specific homes in my closets and drawers, I have felt the itch to try to get back into the swing of things with cleaning. I have halfheartedly tried a few methods in the past--Fly Lady; Home Comforts; sticking with one "cleaning day" per week; and very briefly the Zone Cleaning method mentioned on C Jane which I actually like in theory but it was way too complicated for me.

 Then just last week I ran across this on Little Green Notebook: My Cleaning Process. In short, I love it. I don't know if it will stick, but so far it is working for me. Well, a modified version. I typed up my own version of the chart and put it on my fridge. I know myself and so I know I won't always follow through on every "chore," but allowing myself to do just one big chore a day is something I had not really considered before. It seemed to me like the house would never truly be clean that way. But guess what, if I devote an entire day to cleaning, then it still never stays clean as long as there are people in it. And I would be pretty sad if my house didn't have its people in it.

 So there you go.

 There I go.

 Congratulations for making it this far.

Happy spring. :)