I guess it's kind of odd that I haven't written anything yet about baby Jonah, but I haven't really known what to write so I just...haven't. Not for lack of thinking or talking about him, because he has been a reality and a topic of conversation at our house for months now. Tonight after watching a video of his mom holding him, I feel compelled to share a little of his story with you.
Some of you know that my nephew Jonah was born on Saturday with full Trisomy 13. Harry and Dawn (my brother and sister-in-law), who live near my parents in California, found this out at his level II ultrasound last spring and have been preparing since then for the eventuality of his birth and death. They hoped he would make it full term and that they would have a few minutes to hold him. Now he is 3 days old, after being born 7 pounds at 40 weeks, and home from the hospital--all miracles. His condition has been up and down--he was doing really well on Saturday and Sunday, then not as well Sunday night, then a little better on Monday, then worse today. He is surrounded by his family and lavished with love on all sides.
I'm not flying out for a few more days (my 2 sisters who also live far away are flying out too) and although I have been hoping so hard to be able to meet him and hold him when I get there, I don't know that that will happen. There's pretty much no real way to know in advance when he will die although his struggles to breathe are an indicator. My kids have been telling me ever since I told them about baby Jonah that he is going to live with Jesus and Heavenly Father, but somehow that isn't something I want to think about quite yet. Little Jonah's condition, caused by an extra chromosome on the 13th pair, caused several deformities, both internal and external, which make it difficult and ultimately impossible for him to live here on the earth with us for very long. When I talked to Harry yesterday he said it's like Jonah's running a marathon. 3 days isn't very long for most people but for little Jonah it might feel like a long, tough race that he signed up for long ago and is now in the thick of.
I have been thinking constantly about Harry and Dawn, mourning with them from thousands of miles away. They are such loving parents and take such good care of their kids. I'm drawn again to 3 Nephi 17: "He took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them. And when he had done this he wept again; And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones." This has been the first experience I have had of loving someone so much whom I haven't met. I can feel his little spirit so strongly. I feel so much love for such a tiny boy who lives so far away.
Thank you for your prayers and support so far for this wonderful family. I am sure that Harry and Dawn and Jonah, and Jonah's 2 brothers and 2 sisters, could use some more....and more, and more.
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13 comments:
Eliza! I am so sorry for you and your brother's family! My neighbor's brother and sis in law had their baby born with the same problem a few months ago and it just breaks my heart. I was thinking about how sad, sad, sad it was and I could only think about the loss the parents would feel and how they would stand it. Then I thought to change the direction of my thoughts and instead think about the glory that Heavenly Father's will was done and that this baby got to come have the earth experience exactly as he was supposed to and be born into a covenant family and eternally, everything is good. But that doesn't make it any easier for anyone. And I'm sorry! I will definitely include him and his family in my prayers tonight!
This is so heartbreaking. I will be thinking of them and including them in my prayers. I was struck in reading this post about the wonder and beauty of families, and I mean that in a rather mystical sort of way. You love this tiny boy you have never met, but he is part of your eternal family and his spirit is perfect and eternal and someday his body will be, too, and you will know him. I am so grateful for the gospel and the peace it brings to us in these awful times. I am glad that your brother and sister in law were able to have time with their precious baby. I am so glad they know they will have forever with him someday.
I hope he can hang on until you come, but I also know that it's entirely possible that he will not. But I am glad you can feel his spirit, because it is the most present attribute about him - and it is strong.
I have no idea what to say so I will have a gigantic hug waiting for you at the airport.
this has me quite emotional. I can only imagine how jonah's family feels. i'll be praying for them and their sweet baby.
Well said, Eliza.
I've been thinking about him and dawn and harry and their kids nonstop for the last few days. I think now that I'm a mother it's even harder for me to comprehend something like this. I'm so happy that he's been able to go home and that they've all been able to be together as a family for a few days.
I am so sad for your family. Do you know Jason and Alicia Bassett? They were in the Vienna ward for years before moving to Iowa last year. They had a baby girl, Clara, born with Trisomy 18 about 2 years ago. She lived for just 38 precious minutes and passed away. It was such an emotional experience to watch them go through that process and support them through it. But I know that Clara had a purpose in this life and Jason and Alicia were grateful to be able to give her a body and bring her to this earth, even if for a short period of time. Before Clara was born, we had a little shower honoring Jason and Alicia where we each shared a thought or memory. I remember sharing a thought from Elder Wirthlin's talk, "Come What May and Love It." There is a section on the principle of compensation, which was especially comforting to me.
"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.
One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father."
I recently reread those words while going through my own trials and they have been so comforting. I hope they are comforting to you as well. I know that Jonah has a purpose on this earth, just as Clara did.
I just watched the birthday video that was posted on your Mom's blog. Jonah is a special blessing to all of us. He makes us appreciate what we have and know that there is something special about each moment spent here with our families. I am so glad that you and Hannah will be here soon to lend support.
I will second Phoebe and say well said Eliza.
I think my emotions are too strong to say anything else.
Oh Eliza. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Let me know how I can help. I would love to watch your kids.
Again, well said. That's all I can manage.
Shedding many tears...
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