But even though he is right, it still kind of feels like a huge life change. And that doesn't even include the fact that I woke up to an alarm clock, which I almost never do. Say what you will about stay-at-home motherhood of little ones being hard--it's hard in some ways but so delicious in most ways. My little kids are my alarm clock and I will take that EVERY time over a beeping contraption right next to my ear. So what if we're late to preschool half the time? (unless I'm co-oping, in which case I do require an alarm clock....)
One thing that makes it feel like a major change is that I am now diverting part of my (scattered) brain to something totally new and different. That entails the actual work as well as the work environment and the give-and-take there. I told Matt (when I called him for my after-work report...felt like the first day of school or something) that I really, really want to do my best at this. I have so much to get done and very few limitations or instructions. That part is daunting but it's also a terrific challenge. It's basically this huge gift--that I was invited to come back and do some needed work that I did not do in my previous setup there and honestly always wished I had done. I really want to summon all of my mental energy to do my best so that when I leave again, they and I will say, "That was totally worth it."
Oh and also I was super anxious about leaving my kids. Funny how that happens...when I went "back to work" part time when Theo was 8 weeks old it was the same way. But I came home after lunch and they were all smiles, told me all about their morning and how much fun they had had. (without me.) I can't begin to place myself with those supermoms who do it for real every day, whether by choice or circumstance, but for now with this short amount of time I really want to do my best at it.
I hope that in the process I can get better at the stay-at-home mom part too. I can't tell you how great it was to open the door and see Theo and Ida smiling back at me. Is this how Matt feels every night after work? No wonder his only request is that he comes home to a happy family.
4 comments:
I often wonder if I could have done it if I'd had to work full time when I had small children. So many women do it, but it looks almost impossible to me!! It's hard enough just taking care of Dad and me!
Hope it goes well!!
Librarian is my dream job. Sounds like a good opportunity!
I think that sounds so cool, Eliza! I think it'd be cool to have a reason to do something totally different a few hours a week. I love using my brain, but I have such a hard time doing mothering AND something like going to school at the same time. So, you go girl! And I think to myself sometimes how much happier my kids are when they aren't with me, just because it's fun to have a change of pace for all of us.
Very cool! Congrats to you and Matt both on the new jobs! :)
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