Did I tell you about how I am ready for Ida to be sleeping somewhere that is not my room?
So last week we decided to try putting Theo in a twin bed to make room for Ida's crib. He is past the weight limit of his beloved, BELOVED Pack'n'Play, the mattress of which is totally thrashed, so I thought (hoped) that with a mesh rail and cozy sheets on the twin he would transfer okay. That lasted exactly one night. Well, until about 3 a.m., to be specific. Then, as I vowed amid the cries of various babies, "He can sleep in the Pack'n'Play until he's FOUR for all I care," Matt set the Pack'n'Play back up and Theo has been napping and sleeping peacefully in it ever since. That's what we get for fixing what wasn't broken.
It's not a question of keeping him confined, by the way, because he has demonstrated that he can climb in and out, but in general he chooses not to. What a silly kid. I think he's just really attached to that cozy little space.
If we really felt strongly about it I guess we could try to break his spirit over successive nights. But not only does he love the PnP with a fierce and abiding love; I already have one child waking me up at night and two is just too much. We'll try again in a while...maybe. What's the worst that could happen? Scoliosis?
By the way, I was talking with a friend about how Ida still wakes up at least once a night, usually twice. She called it the "dark secret," which I thought was funny. If you have ever had a child who woke up at night while your friends' children slept from 8 to 8, maybe you can identify. I sure can. Although I probably wouldn't elevate it to "dark secret" status for another several months. Actually I do kinda lie about it to my upstairs neighbor, whose formula for sleeping through the night is in a bottle mixed with rice cereal. But I think a three-month-old waking up at night is totally normal, even with the most structured days, and I challenge Gary Ezzo to prove otherwise. Right here, Gary, right now! Defensive! I know! But how I wish it weren't true.
So anyway, Ida...I am ready for her to move to Theo's room. But the only place to put her crib in his room would be right next to the twin bed, which would make it far too easy for Theo to get all up in Ida's business. He does it while we're awake, so why wouldn't he do it while we're asleep?
Oh man. Sleep. I tell ya.
But I may not tell ya if Theo really is sleeping in a Pack'n'Play every night at age 4. That would probably fall in the category of dark secret.
18 comments:
Is there someplace else you could stick Theo to sleep, like a closet? I know, this sounds mean, but he'd get his PNP, even if he didn't love where it was. And Ida could get her own space too. Maybe it would persuade Theo to want to sleep in the twin bed.
Theo has totally slept in Matt and Eliza's closet before, mostly because I was sleeping in his room and he had nowhere to go. Sorry, Theo.
You know, I actually said to Matt the other day that maybe we should try putting Theo in my closet! Because that's where Ida sleeps now and she seriously wakes up the moment I get within like 20 feet of her.
As Hannah said, Theo has slept in our closet before. Multiple times, whenever we had guests before Ida came. Maybe we should try it out sometime. Really not a bad idea.
Admittedly, we all have "dark secrets" that never need to be shared, unless it comforts another in need.
You could always move the PnP onto the twin bed so Theo gets used to the space, then slowly move everything he keeps in his PnP to the twin. Did you ever see the movie "Bruce Almighty" he does something similar to potty train the dog. Not that Theo is trainable like a dog. I digress. Good luck.
The sleeping issue can be a real shock. Vickie slept through the night at six weeks old. I sort of expected the same thing from Katie, but as I recall she was about a year old before she made it through the night. I think first babies spoil us.
Bonny slept through the night at 3 weeks - I thought it was my expert parenting skills!!
It was dumb luck!
I would say the closet trick - or just keep introducing it - say once or twice a week - and back off pretty quickly but just put it out there - when he's developmentally ready for it, he will probably surprise you and go for it then.
"If we really felt strongly about it I guess we could try to break his spirit over successive nights."
This made me laugh, although it's kind of sad.
My children did not sleep through the night for about 1 year. Marla Dalrymple told me that she always enjoyed getting up with her children in the night because it was the only time she had with only them. I changed my attitude after that and began to enjoy our middle of the night visits. I watched many a movie during those times. I then enjoyed the Tour de France! That would start at 3:00am. I hoped he would wake up! He did.
It all passes. No one wakes up now.
Jude is almost a year and I am up with him every night (only once). Maybe it's my milk?? Moriah was up every four hours until about 9 mo. old and has slowly improved! She is a unique case though, we think she inherited her grandmother's genes (had 8 children and adopted 4 more while in her late 50's, currently 70 years old with 4 adopted children at home and the woman can run circles around me.)
But I hear ya, the one really difficult thing about this early motherhood stage, for me anyway, is the whole sleep issue. Good luck! I think the closet idea sounds great.
Loving the comments.
What a sweet story about Marla Dalrymple! It makes me want to go hug both my kids right now. I actually do have some perspective about getting up in the night with babies...generally that perspective only comes in quieter, pondering moments though; sometimes it's hard to appreciate the moment while in the moment.
Thanks guys. Keep the advice, suggestions, ideas coming, because I really love the different angles.
I loved reading all your comments and will share that Teo slept through the night for about 2 weeks and hasn't since and Chloe did not sleep through the night until almost 2 and just this week we are weening her off bottles at 2.5 (gasp!) I told her that we had to give them to all the little babies in the playgroup so they wouldn't cry...it is kinda working, in the meantime I hid all the bottles in my closet....maybe you could hide the pnp in your closet and force Theo to sleep on his bed. (ha ha, not really...that was more of a joke.)
Gretta has slept in her PNP in my closet a few times due to guests, as well. She likes it.
And I used to love getting up with my kids during the night. Not only because I'm a night owl, but because someone once told me "the nights last forever, but the years fly by". After that, and after I saw how quickly my first child grew, I had a greater appreciation for those late night cuddles.
All I have to say is that you're really lucky he's not interested in getting out of the PNP.
Baby Harry has slept in the closet his whole life (in a Pack and Play) he still does. We don't know when he will "come out of the closet", maybe when he has to curl up in fetal position to fit in the pack and play. He loves it, sleeps through the night (till 9 or 10) unless we wake him up earlier. The closet is cool, dark, quiet, he has no idea that the sun is up. I think all kids should sleep in closets. By the way our two Australian Shepherds sleep in a closet of sorts, the laundry room. They were crate trained since birth. If its good enough for a dog why not a human. PS he also takes three hour naps in his closet.
Good point. As I said, we were pretty much fixing what wasn't broken when it came to moving him to a bed. Except, I'm thinking that the Pack'n'Play will be broken before Theo's done with it.
Oh well!
I wish we had an actual walk-in closet like Baby Harry's. What we have is a small hallway between my room and the bathroom, with two small closets in it that face each other across the hall. There is exactly enough room in there for a Pack'n'Play. Ida's in a portacrib that is a little skinnier than a Pack'n'Play. I hung a curtain so that Ida couldn't see us. But she can still hear us. I would love to have a door that closed.
Ie Li, you're right. You reminded me of what I have been thinking while reading online about three-month-old nap schedules. So many people out there are writing in to message boards saying, "My three-month-old sleeps through the night but won't take long naps during the day." What! Take what you get! I'd trade a night's sleep for long naps any day!
Both of our kids were so excited to go into beds that I am having a hard time relating. Although we may get there with Agnes, she is our first that loved her crib.
I don't mean to put a damper on the happy party of finding the joy in waking with your babies at night, but I still, even though I have no babies at the moment, get frustrated when I hear of any babies before five months old sleep through the night with only one wake up or less. I can't help it. I just don't see the fairness in life, and I don't see the joy of being exhausted, grouchy, and on edge for five + months when other people only have to endure it for six weeks. I think people should keep it a dirty dark secret when their babies sleep through the night for the first six months. I sound really negative, but I just hear it so much and I'm convinced none of my kids are ever going to be like that, and life should be fair in my mind, even if it's not.
I should probably clarify that Marla Dalrymple died while still a mother of young children, which is why I thought the story was sweet. It is definitely hard (impossible) to see the romance of middle-of-the-night wakeups when you are entrenched in them.
And Theo didn't sleep through the night consistently (my definition being I can put the baby down for the night and not have to worry about him until morning) until he was 10 months old. He is a fabulous sleeper now though, so I guess I wouldn't change anything! Except that it would have been nice at the time to know that it wouldn't last forever. In some ways that makes it easier with Ida--I know it won't last forever--but in some ways makes it harder--like, why don't you just hurry up and sleep all night already??
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