Turn and face the strange

I feel like I know a lot of people who exercise regularly throughout pregnancy. Pumping iron, downward dog, a brisk run in the morning, that kind of thing. I don't want to scoff at these people. I just want to know--how do you do it? Intellectually I understand that the more you exercise, the more you want to do it. But how do you even get started, let alone keep it up?

Before I got pregnant with Theo I was a machine. I was busy with work and school and church, but I jogged three times a week, cross-trained on the alternating days, and went for long runs on Saturdays. That perpetuated healthy eating and sleeping habits, which in turn propelled my desire to exercise.

And then, I got pregnant, and then I was sick, and then I was tired, and then I was huge, and in those nine months, although I did make dozens of half-hearted attempts, I never once broke a sweat intentionally and I ate a million percent of my daily allowance of sodium and sugar. I like to blame at least some of this on Pregnancy Insanity. Do you want to know what I was eating when I went into labor? Top Ramen. Gross! And do you know what I did with the half-eaten bowl of Top Ramen? I put it in the fridge so I could finish it when I got back. Sick.

Then for an entire year after that, I maybe, MAYBE went jogging once or twice a week and I never set foot in a gym. (Gyms are expensive here.) Granted, nursing burned a zillion calories a day, so there went that motivation. Plus I was doing all kinds of exercising just in my daily life taking care of a baby and then toddler.

My point is that even when I was a dedicated superwoman in the exercise department, the pregnancy that followed was almost completely exercise-free. So now that I am pregnant again and I haven't really exercised seriously since before Theo was a twinkle in my eye, I feel like it is a lost cause. But I have lofty goals: to exercise every day. Not to mention the fact that ever since 15 weeks I have prohibited myself from eating high-sodium packaged foods, and informed myself that I would be eating fruit or yogurt instead of candy or ice cream; vegetables with every meal; upping iron intake; remembering my vitamins. (These are guidelines...don't think I've given up ice cream or anything.) Not only do I feel better when I do all this stuff, I know that it is really the only path to take for a healthy pregnancy.

And yet, each day comes, and all I want to do is lie around, and all I want to eat is macaroni and cheese and pudding. Mainly because I still hate cooking. If I had a personal chef this would totally be a piece of cake. Oh and I never cared about this before but now all of a sudden when I'm not supposed to allow my body temperature above, what is it, 102, all I want to do besides lie around is take hot baths. Figure that one out.

The added pressure of wanting a VBAC and fully expecting another marathon labor is not helping. You would think it would help, but no, it doesn't. I know I need to be in good shape for that but it feels like a million years away.

Complaining about the "rules" for a healthy pregnancy is like complaining about the expectations for members of my church. My answer to those complaints is, "You're here because you want to be, not because you have to be. If you'll just do this stuff and focus on the big picture, you'll be happy." So, I am saying that to myself. I am pregnant because I want to be. If I just do this stuff and focus on the big picture, I'll feel better. It's not like macaroni and cheese is going to get me there.