Yesterday in the car I popped in "Home Is Where the Heart Is," a mix my sister made for me when my husband and I moved across the country, jobless with a baby on the way (so romantic I know).
1. Movin' out. Billy Joel
2. Our house. Phantom Planet
3. The district sleeps alone tonight. The Postal Service
4. Neighborhood #1 (tunnels). The Arcade Fire
5. Homeward bound. Simon and Garfunkel
6. Town called Malice. The Jam
7. Move away and shine. Tim DeLaughter
8. She's leaving home. The Beatles
9. Subterranean homesick alien. Radiohead
10. Far, far away. Wilco
11. Homesick. Kings of Convenience
12. Where happiness lives. Magnet
13. Mushaboom. Feist
14. Sound of settling. Death Cab for Cutie
15. Home. Depeche Mode
16. Two fine people. Cat Stevens
17. Family tree. Ben Kweller
18. If you leave. OMD
19. In my life. The Beatles
I hadn't listened to it since I almost wore it out last fall. When the first song came on yesterday I could picture myself barreling down Georgetown Pike in our almost-to-200,000 Maxima in the morning on my way to work. I would roll down the windows and blast this mix through the tall and bright trees that line that twisty road. Don't you just love fall mornings? Every morning my clothes fit just a little bit tighter and I am still shocked that I never got into an accident. I mean that road is really windy and I barely fit behind the steering wheel.
If you care about Andie and Duckie at all then you know what "If You Leave" reminds me of. "Tunnels" gives me mixed feelings. It reminds me of last summer, when I was first pregnant and morning-sick and a little troubled about a few things, including moving. "Homesick" is a tiny bit cheesy but it's pretty. I have felt "homesick...'cause I no longer know where home is." "Where Happiness Lives" is a beautiful song although I am pretty sure it is about snorting cocaine. "Mushaboom" is totally my life, "Family Tree" is totally Matt, and "Two Fine People," while "too '70s" for Matt, is one of my top fave Cat songs.
Anyway, it's just funny what songs can do. Although I love summer and I look forward to it all year long, I am excited for fall this year, and not just because I can wear "regular" fall clothes as opposed to maternity fall clothes. It's also because I want to see colorful leaves again, because fall is a cozy, homey season, and also because Hannah will be here then.
Although I have felt sick-to-my-stomach homesick before and I know what it's like, I don't get homesick that often now, because home is a lot of places for me: the house and town and state where I grew up; the town I went to college in; my husband's parents' house, where we lived for two years. California, Utah, Virginia: they are all home.
Every time I move to a new home, I fear just a little that I will not fit in where I am going. But even if I don't "fit in" I still always find a place to fit . . . if that makes sense. I love the memories associated with the places I've lived, I miss my siblings and parents and in-laws and nieces and nephews and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and FRIENDS too, and we may very well move back "West" someday, but right now home is here with my little family. It's good to feel good about that.
6 comments:
1) Hey what about all your good friends who you miss????
2) "In My Life" is my favorite Beatles song ever...I get sort of emotional just thinking about it.
3) I want a copy of that CD!
#1) I don't know what you are talking about Alex.
la ha ha ha.
Actually, I have seen you more than almost anyone else, since we have moved out here.
Are you in Philly yet??
what an endearing post. Really, you just capture my sentiment as well - so provoking, really. Bravo! We must have known each other in the life before this because I do the EXACT same thing. I LOVE windy roads in the fall and will go out of my way just to drive down one that is picture perfect. I roll down the windows because you can absorb so much more that way: wind, crunchy leaves, aroma. Music evokes sooo much emotion and a cd (like a perfume) will bring back all the emotions of that time in your life. Good times. Love you lots.
p.s. I left a message on your phone before reading this
Aw Sarah. Here's what else reminds me of fall: that orange creamsicle candle. I don't remember the name of it. Dreamsicle? Anyway, I should buy another one. Yum.
"And use the last of the powder, that let's him push ahead."
Now how is that about using cocaine??!!
Jk dogg. I know, drugs, whatever, but it IS pretty.
Don't you hate it when you listen to a song and think, "Oh, this is a nice song" and then realize what it's about?
That's why WHL actually kind of makes me a little bit throw-uppy now, even though it is pretty.
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