I feel that this vegetable patch is an excellent metaphor for how well I took care of myself this summer. I tried--sort of. I planted my garden in a sunny spot. I got cages for the tomatoes. However, vegetable plants need water. Also they need attention.
That evergreen rosemary bush is somehow holding strong for its third year now, no thanks to me. Basil, cilantro and tomatoes, not so much. I did harvest maybe 15-20 cherry tomatoes here and there over the course of the summer. They were delicious.
Anyway I had four kids and a house to take care of and the house didn't fare so well either BUT the kids did OK. The garden is a lost cause, which is fine. Homegrown herbs don't pair that well with Easy Mac anyway. The cilantro met its own natural demise sometime in August. Yesterday I sent the emaciated tomato and basil stalks off to their eternal reward with a benevolent snip of the shears.
That's where the metaphor ends, thank goodness. No worries there. But I am struggling. I have talked to my family doctor about it... it's probably a combination of hormones (birth control plus breastfeeding/weaning), the chaos of summer, the chaos of my beloved oldest child, and my reactions towards all of these, which have been the equivalent of ignoring my tomatoes, AKA self-medicating Mormon style which in my case includes treating ice cream like its own food group, going on cookie benders, and staying up way past midnight.
"There was this one time... we stayed up way past midnight..." Lenny, That Thing You Do? Steve Zahn? Anyone?
I have been super forgetful--way more so than usual. Please don't assign me any tasks, because I will forget about them immediately. I have been super snappy with my husband and kids, WAY more than usual, the zenith of which was an event wherein I threw my husband's favorite hat out the car window at 65 mph. I have not showered about as often as I have showered. At what point is this TMI? Is it the cookie benders? Is it the lack of showering? I don't even know anymore.
So to ward off this mild depression my plan is: getting more sleep, eating less sugar, finding a new therapist because mine moved away (ahem... a year and a half ago), adjusting to the new school year routine, and continuing to ignore my house and yard while I try to focus on the people in them. Including myself.
10 comments:
The fact that you threw your husband's hat out the window makes me love you more. I'll admit that I threw a zucchini at my husband once; maybe those things are in the same sort of reaction family. Good job identifying what you need to do to get back on track. I think I'm in the same boat.
I wish I was in the neighborhood!! Look forward to our November visit! And know that you are daily in my thoughts and prayers!! I almost called you the other day at Bonny's! Maybe I should act on my impulses!!
I threw a deck of cards out of Jeff's car window once at top speed -- I think it's a sign of true love -- you hang in there! you're bigger and better than this is! you got this! love you!
"You got any threes? Go fish"
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I wish I could suggest something helpful, but I don't what the stress of having kids is like. All I know is when I feel overwhelmed, it's time to escape...even if it's just for an hour and even if it's just reading a scary book. It helps me. I hope it helps you.
Did he ever get his hat back?
He watched in the rearview mirror as it bounced behind us on 66 and was immediately crushed by another vehicle. Which was also going 65 mph.
So, no.
Thanks for the solidarity, Sarah. It was not a proud moment. My kids were speechless.
Being a mom is hard. Hang in there.
No worries! Thanks for thinking of me. :)
Ah, poor Jeff and Matt. ;)
Thank you. (And thank you for the TTYD quote...you get me!) a quick escape sounds awesome, and you're so right!
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