Maybe it's dropsy.

I discovered something about myself recently. Two things, actually. Allow me to back up: a couple of days ago I poured a glass of water on my phone. Not on purpose, silly. I was bringing Ida to bed with me at 5:30 a.m., her wakeup time of choice. I was super thirsty so I brought to my lips the bacteria-ridden glass of water that had been sitting on my bedside table. I was also super tired and instead of placing the glass back on the table after my treacherous swig, I accidentally dropped it, drenching my somewhat new phone.

My gasp woke Matt, who tended to the phone accordingly and instructed me not to leave glasses of water on my bedside table. About ten minutes later, I reached for the glass again, which was still on the table and still had some water in it. I took a drink, then dropped it again, this time on the power strip next to my bed. Again a plea to Matt saved the day (I was trying to get Ida to go back to sleep...clearly quite unsuccessfully) and he unplugged the power strip and dried it off with a towel.

Sadly, this is not the first time something like this has happened, nor the second, third, fourth, twentieth, or hundredth time. I have made a lifelong career out of dropping things. In college I even wrote a prize-winning short story about dropping called "Dropped," which someday I shall hunt down and publish on this blog for you. At least daily I drop my phone, my bag, a dish, a pan, if my hands have held it I have dropped it.

I have wondered aloud in the past why I have never dropped one of my kids, and this is my first discovery: while my gross motor skills are somewhat lacking (I trip over my own feet), I lack fine motor skills even more. Sure, I can type and play the piano, but these are open-handed activities. Maybe I didn't play enough video games as a child (possibly) or maybe I have early signs of arthritis or Parkinson's (please no). This is why I can carry medium-to-large objects such as people--more specifically, my children--with ease, but cannot hold on to a glass of water early in the morning.

Discovery number two came one day last week when I was balancing several small items in my arms and hands while putting things away in my closet. I had to carry them about twenty feet without dropping them, and so I said out loud repeatedly, "Don't drop these. Don't drop these. Don't drop these." I concentrated harder than I ever do at anything else. I utilized such magnificent force of brainpower that I felt like Matilda from Matilda preparing to write on the chalkboard using only her mind, or Hiro from Heroes manipulating time and space by sheer force of will.

And so, my friends, those are my discoveries. I have telekinetic powers that enable me to carry small objects that I would not be able to carry otherwise.

By the way, my phone still works. Also, my short story from college did not actually win any prizes.