Granted it's really not as good as it used to be, but I still luv it. Matt and I watched the season finale (J.D.'s "finale") a few nights ago. (To watch the whole episode go here) I almost teared up during the very end. How can a slow-motion montage containing weddings and babies and set to Peter Gabriel not make a person tear up, right? Although maybe it won't make you emotional if you don't care about Scrubs...
It wasn't because I love the staff of Sacred Heart so much (although I do). Rather it got me thinking about my life. Lately my life has been, shall we say, HARD. I have cried over it...mostly out of frustration (Theo: "Mama so frustrated") but also out of exhaustion and out of sorrow for my own mistakes.
But I really have nothing to cry about. (Even if I did spend my free time today cleaning up very old avocado pieces pounded by determined babies into every nook and cranny in the kitchen and reading articles with titles like "To Spank or Not to Spank," I could have been lying on the couch eating bon-bons for all anyone else cared.) So, Matt and I watched this montage and I thought about how sweet and beautiful J.D.'s "fantasy future" looked, dressed up in slow-mo and the melodious strains of yon Petey. Then I thought two things about my own life:
- My future life doesn't seem like it's coming fast enough sometimes. (Today the somewhat immediate future is all the future my brain can grasp even its my most reflective moments. The moment Matt will walk in the door. The day Theo will take a break from throwing bone-rattling tantrums every 20 minutes. The night I will sleep for more than 3 hours in a row.) But someday the real and long-term dreams I do have for my family's future just might come true. Who's to say they won't?
- My present life is not stylized, color-saturated, or set to violins. In fact you might have been a little scared to see it today...or any day last week. But somehow, even despite me, it is sweet and beautiful and all I ever could have dreamed about.
(Who would have thought I could glean such magnificent lessons from Dr. John Dorian. Good times.)
14 comments:
I think you have to care about Scrubs - or at least be familiar with it!!
I'm sorry Theo's in the throes of the terrible twos - they do end!!
Hang in there!!
The picture of Theo is classic two year old!
I'm sorry your life is hard right now. You have a tough job, but very rewarding I would assume. If it makes you feel better tantrums and all I am jealous of you getting to be home with two kids all day.
I hope that doesn't offend you. I don't mean it to be offensive, I just think being a stay at home mom would be fun, although probably a lot more challenging than going to an office job everyday.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way.
I had the same feelings about the finale, I really liked it. And now they're continuing the show but I don't care because I liked the way the show ended and that's that.
I used to envy stay at homes moms, don't they all just sit at home and watch TV? I know they don't and I no longer have envy. As I am typing this, there are screaming children outside! No envy here!
Hang in there, we all love you!
I love Peter Gabriel. And babies.
Don't worry, Katie, you didn't offend me! That was my point...I do love my life and it isn't always hard. In fact usually it is not. So far, my life is good despite my fumbling.
just think, in less than a month you'll get to pretend what it would be like to have two babies and two pre-teens in the house. :)
stay awesome!
I feel you. One of the newer words in little Eliza's vocabulary is "frustrated," also. And she probably could be referring to both of us a lot of the time. You show that old avocado who is the boss.
there is something lovely about scrubs, it took me awhile to warm up to it, but yes i love it too. and really, just mentally fast forward the rough years and slow down the good ones.....
You are one of the best mom's I know. I am often jealous of your life. I know its hard though. We all go through hard times sometimes. Just know that you have many, many, many people who love you.
Ali, your comment reminds me of the movie Click....which I really loved, despite a couple of unfortunate side storylines. Obviously in order to have the good you really have to take the bad. I mean the good times wouldn't even be as good if it weren't for what you learned during the bad times.
As much as I enjoy and am grateful for my life, I am often jealous of others. I wonder sometimes if I would trade my blessings for theirs. In the end, I wouldn't. Usually!
I almost wrote, "or my hardships for theirs." Except that it seems like usually blessings are much more on display than hardships. I doubt most people know many of my hardships, and I certainly don't know most of theirs.
I liked what you said about how the future doesn't come fast enough sometimes. That's really how it feels to me a lot, then I think that I'm supposed to be enjoying all this, etc. And I am, but that doesn't mean you can't be excited about pre-school in your future or something. And I've been getting down so I just read a whole bunch of mothering talks by apostles and they made me feel enlightened and emboldened. And I just told me husband today that if I ever say, "I want to go back to when Rosemary was a baby..." to tell me it's a lie and I'm not really remembering things. I think we have a lot to look forward to as moms of young kids, and recognizing that helps me enjoy my days now.
I want to be best friends with you.
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