Matt and I won't get the in-depth ultrasound for another month (mark your calendars) but people have already asked about it. The answer: we're not going to find out the baby's sex until it's born. We have talked about finding out early with future children, if it matters to our older kids and if we think it's important to help ease the transition of a new member of the family, or something.
Although I probably won't want to find out until someone can convince me that it won't be wrong. I personally know three people whose ultrasound techs were wrong . . . one of whom didn't find out The Truth until her baby boy was born and had to sleep in a fairy-themed nursery and wear pink dresses until they got him some boy stuff. True story!
Anyway I never try to convince people that it's better to look away when the ultrasound tech zooms in on the pelvic area. I'm not entirely convinced it is, myself, but it's the way we did it last time and it was fun. If I were to try, I have to say that besides the concern of planning for a girl and ending up with a boy, or vice versa, a big convincer for me is the wow factor in the delivery room. People have said to me, "It's a surprise either way . . . you just get the surprise 20 weeks earlier if you find out in the ultrasound." But I am a believer in culminating moments. If you didn't know. I like a little bit of (good) drama. Hearing Matt say, for the first time, "It's a boy!" and then holding the boy! like right after he said that! was pretty amazing.
Also, you only have about 10 minutes in which you have to "be strong." An ultrasound doesn't take that long. Then, well, your chance is over. And you get over it.
That said, I found this post that gives some pretty convincing arguments not to find out. At least I thought so . . . then again I was already convinced. I don't totally agree with a couple of them, like the fear of loss and the idea that labor goes more quickly. I think loss is devastating either way and I shudder to think how long labor might have seemed had I already known what I was having and the only thing left to find out was whether the baby was healthy. But overall I think it's a solid list.
I don't know where I find these random blogs. I am pretty sure this girl is about 5 people removed from a person I actually know. But anyway here is another funny post from her. I am sure I would like this person if I knew her in real life.
Side note, no offense at all because every one of my pregnant blogger friends has this, but I am soooo creeped out by those floating fetus countdown pictures that grace so many sidebars. Just had to let that be known. Not that it keeps me from checking the one on Jess's blog periodically since she's due at the same time as me.
12 comments:
I'm with you. I imagine I will wait to find out. I agree with a lot of the points on that girl's list especially about the one that people are excited to find out what you had and the name.
I know I asked you if you were going to find out. Hope that didn't bug you. I knew you wouldn't so I don't even know why I asked. LOL. I am glad you aren't finding out. I remember how cool it was when your mom posted the sex and name when Theo was born.
I also think that it would be fun to throw more names around. Gives the whole process some variety.
I can see why people would want to find out but I am not someone who is that partial to gender based colors so I would be cool with getting a lot of green, yellow, and white.
I have to say, that after I started having scheduled C-sections the surprise became a lot more valuable to me.
But everytime, I have been tempted to find out. Especially with Agnes when I found out that the entire office knew what I was having, the tech had let it slip. It was torture, but still worth suffering through for the shock/surprise of seeing that little baby for the first time and finding out who he/she is.
BTW I know Notorious' sister. Funny.
I was excited to see that your friend Jessica is having a baby - and the same time as you - how fun!!
And my rationale for not finding out (the technology was available when you and Hannah and Noah were born, but it was never offered to me. And I didn't think of asking. I'm not sure how I'd vote if I was a young mom today because we all know how I read the end of the book first) has to do with the baby just being "baby" and not he or she.
It's hard to explain, but it's just you and baby - and once they are born they are everyone's baby - but for a time it's just the two of you and assigning a gender to that relationship seems to change it.
Besides, who wants to be "the first one to find out ahead of time??"
I'm with you. I waited to find out with my first 2. Like Phoebe said, especially with scheduled C-Sections, the surprise is most valuable. But we did find out early with Gretta. And that was fun, too. But I did kind of miss the expression on peoples faces when they find out you don't want to know the sex.
We tossed around the idea of not finding out with Scarlett but Steve nixed that. His theory is the whole birth process is surprise enough and never how you think it is going to happen, so at least you know one thing! Our excitement/surprise is bringing home a healthy baby!
I say to each their own, I will be waiting for the anouncement in October!
Jeremy and Brenden were surprises. We wanted it that way. With Kristiana I was driving Jeff crazy because I was certain she was a girl and let's say I was getting stressed over having the right clothes at the right price - but afraid to buy them in case I had a boy - so Jeff talked me into finding out.
And we were both okay with it. But both missed the delivery room surprise. So Natalie was a surprise and things went wrong.
But I was still glad that we waited. And everything turned out fine in the end. In case of doubt see happy, smiling baby on my blog!!
I don't have that kind of patience, plus I wasn't sure I even wanted this strange being inside of me that was about to turn my life upside down (I think I missed that nurturing gene) so I needed a gender, and idea of what I was having to prepare my and psyche myself into it. I think I got my surprise when I saw those 2 lines on the little stick.
You think our baby is creepy??
Congratulations on being pregnant. I had no idea. October will be a perfect to to him him/her. Right before all of the holidays. Good luck with everything.
I think we didn't find out ahead of time until number 5, and that was for the older kids. And it seems that after we finally had a (2nd boy #6) we didn't find out for #7, but then the older kids really wanted to know for #8, so we did.
I see that you are reading Julie Andrew's book. It is on my birthday book list.
Jessica, you got me. Actually I have to confess that if it were a picture of an actual fetus, I would be all over it. And there are lots of illustrations of fetuses that I think are cool. But the Babystrology one, I just find creepy. I don't know why, maybe it's the floating? Or the black background? I do like keeping up with the development though.
Which reminds me of when Matt and I went to Body Worlds a few years ago. There were several (plastinated) fetuses there at various stages of development. You might think that would be creepy, but it was amazing. Incredibly, incredibly sad, but amazing.
Body Worlds II is in Baltimore right now. I really want to go. I'm a little bit obsessed.
Post a Comment