Allow me to do it again.
- Smokers--3 smokers in my unit. The smoker above me smokes inside her apartment so it comes in through my AC vents. (Luckily I think we resolved this last summer; here's hoping. AC comes on in May.) The smoker next to me smokes on his balcony so it comes in through the screen door on balmy days. He also enjoys summoning all phlegm from within his deepest, most inner bowels and expectorating it approximately every 5 minutes. The smoker below me is actually the "companion" to the lady who lives there, and she has no qualms about smoking in the actual stairwell on her way out to the car.
- Parrots--1 very loud parrot in the apartment across the yard. Not kidding, this is the loudest, most loquacious parrot you've ever met in your life, and its owner loves to (a) leave her windows open, (b) take him for very slow, deliberate walks all around the grounds. Don't worry, you can hear the bird even if they are on the complete opposite end of the property. I am pretty sure the bird never sleeps, and also never stops whistling.
- TVs--1 very loud TV in the apartment just below ours. My nocturnal neighbor leaves it on All Night. You may think I'm kidding, but just come visit and you'll see. I have also taken care of this, twice, by knocking on the door at 3 a.m., which by my calculations has given me about 8 months of peace at a time. I think she slowly turns the volume up every month or so until I snap. It's time to take care of it again. Don't worry, we're friends. Although to be honest that makes it much more awkward.
- Gardeners--I estimate 6-8 gardeners who work on the property. Sadly, ever since my parents' gardeners killed their apricot tree I have been more than a little suspicious of gardeners. We live on a gorgeous property with luscious trees and grass, but I still think the amount of maintenance is excessive: these guys start up at 9 a.m. twice a week and I am not kidding you, it is 4:20 p.m. and they are still going strong. My question is, couldn't the condo association be saving money on these guys? They raised the condo fee 13% this year due to some major problems with the plumbing last winter. And yet we've got these leisurely gardeners who, I would guess, are paid by the hour. Ever since 9 it has been nothing but lawn mowers, weed whackers, and edgers. Nonstop, I tell you. And they all seem to be right outside my window. How does this take 8 hours? How does this take 8 hours? Would I care if I didn't have a napper? Probably not as much, but still a little.
Can I help it if I have high standards?
Everyone, I can attest to the truthfulness of 1) the smoky smell, 2) the woman who walks her parrot, 3) waking up in the middle of the night because the TV is too loud downstairs, and 4) gardeners who garden. All the time.
ReplyDeleteNot that anyone doubted Eliza, but I've definitely slept over at her apartment enough to have experienced all of these things firsthand.
And just for the record, it's ok to have high standards when it comes to smelly neighbors and people who keep birds on leashes.
Very impressed with the use of "expectorate" and "loquacious" in one post.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I once had an upstairs neighbor who would play Dance, Dance Revolution CONSTANTLY. THAT was annoying.
I've experienced everything except the parrot walker.
ReplyDeleteNot that I feel bad about it.
We don't have too much that is annoying in our neighborhood. In fact, maybe WE annoy the neighbors!
I don't like the deer who eat my roses.
I'm sorry for your pain.
ReplyDeleteI have people who live below me who play their music very loud, and have play loud video games when I'm trying to go to sleep. Oh, wait, those are my kids.
But we do have a neighbor with a dog that growls a lot every day. And our neighbors behind us can see right into our kitchen/dining when the curtains are open (drat having houses where the main level is 5 steps off the ground!) I feel like I live in a fish bowl sometimes.
I think my best neighbor experiences where when most of our neigbors were not in close proximity. There is something to be said for having some space around you.
Just get your neighbors to move out and sabatoge all attempts of new people moving in. That's the route we are taking and it's going pretty well so far.
ReplyDeleteAnd we love the rest of our neighbors, even though their friends sometime smoke in front of our place. But then again, everyone in Oregon smokes, except for us.
Calvin keeps pointing to the picture of you with Dad and saying, "It's Grandpa and Mommy and Calvin." Mabe I should get his eyes checked.
I love rant posts, they're so refreshing and interesting. I would want to hurt the downstairs neighbor with the loud TV, it takes me back to living in crusty Provo apartments where you can hear everything that goes on like walls don't exist.
ReplyDeleteIn my new apartment building, the guy who lives next to me plays gangster rap from the early morning hours til about noon. Sometimes I hear him mixing it so I think he may be a dj.
ReplyDeleteI work early most days so I don't hear it, but on the days when I'm off, it would be nice to sleep in.