Today as lunchtime approached, Theo got more and more vocal. He really was hungry and we had forgotten a mid-morning snack. In my mind I threw together a delicious panini of fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, and pesto . . . we are regular gourmets around here . . . and then I realized that the George Foreman grill was still covered in hamburger grease from yesterday's dinner. You may know that one of the rules of making hamburgers is that you just don't leave the pan to clean up the next day. Gross. But I was tired last night.
So I scraped it and scrubbed it, all the while simultaneously feeling grateful that Matt made us hamburgers (I don't touch raw meat if I can help it) and cursing the somewhat Faustian bargain he and I made during my last pregnancy: if he would refrain from cooking the sumptuous and potent dish of Spaghetti-O's-and-chopped-up-hot-dogs while I was in the house, and also refrain from leaving gum wrappers and used dental floss in the car, then I would become Sole Cleaner of the George Foreman (cleaning this grill being a task we both hate).
Yes, I know. I must have been desperate. What kind of a deal is that??
Anyway, I realized after a few minutes of scrubbing--that thing was greazy--that Theo had been quiet for a while. I turned around to find the contents of the very full kitchen trash can strewn around the floor (and I wonder why we have ants), while Theo contentedly munched on the portion of my hamburger patty that I had been unable to finish.
I tell you this not because I want you to turn me in to the authorities, but because I think it's funny. And I suppose I laugh to keep from crying. . . .
What's that they say about exposure to germs building immunity? What doesn't kill them only makes them stronger, I say!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad, you are surviving a pregnancy and that's that.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet this type of thing happens whether I am pregnant or not. I do appreciate the sympathy, however. ;) And I agree, Theo's kind of a germ magnet, despite any precautions from me, and yet he has never been sick. Knock on wood!
ReplyDeleteReally though...I kind of wish I had had a camera handy...because he was just so happy to be eating that stinky old hamburger out of the trash can. My little freegan child.
I think it's a great story - be sure to put it in his baby book!
ReplyDeleteAlthough the only kid we ever had who ate food from the trash can was little Bernie!!
And I didn't want to record that for his posterity!!
Eliza- I love this story. So real life! Theo shows independence. He knows how to get the job done; )
ReplyDeleteLike father, like son.
ReplyDeleteHe must have seen that Oprah about the freegans. That is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHey, sounds like Theo is quite advanced for his age! That's definitely higher order problem solving. (Told ya kids who were afraid of vacuums were sharp!) Theo sure has my two teenagers beat. How is it that a teenager can look into a well stocked pantry and fridge, see dinner going on the table and still say, "There's nothing to eat around here!" ???
ReplyDeleteThought of you and yours this morning as I watched coverage of the tornado in Virginia. Hope you are all safe and sound.
Food in the trash (or off the floor) somehow must taste better than when it is presented in a proper dish on the table. Yes, my kids will eat veggies off the ground that I haven't got around to cleaning up yet. I guess that's one way to get nutrition in them. It's a good strategy, Eliza.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, thanks for the laugh! By the way, Matt and I are all about bargains too. When we got married we made a deal that I would do the laundry if he would clean the bathrooms...doesn't sound too bad right? Well then we got a house with a yard, and I don't feel like I can make him do all the yardwork and clean all the bathrooms while I'm twiddling my thumbs. Oh well. Hate cleaning the Foreman as well.
ReplyDeleteBargains really don't work for me, at least not specific ones. In the case of spaghetti-o's and hot dogs, and trash in the car, those are things that seem normal to me _not_ to do. By the same token, we both hate cleaning the GF grill but I usually did it anyway. Hence, a horrible bargain for me but I was desperate.
ReplyDeleteIf I were to be in charge of the laundry and Matt the bathrooms, then the bathrooms would never been "clean enough" for my taste. No offense to Matt; it's just the way it is. He will admit his strengths and interests lie elsewhere. So for the most part, aside from the obvious official difference wherein he makes money and I take care of the baby and home, we divide and conquer unofficially, and it usually seems to match up with gender stereotypes, heaven forbid but I am a happy feminist housewife. When he is home he is very hands-on with the messy parenting stuff, as well as some housework.
When we lived in a house, Matt did the outside stuff (yard, etc.) and I did the inside stuff (cleaning, etc.). That seemed to work okay, although I think once we own our own house, I will be more interested in the yard, garden, etc. than I was before. Somehow I doubt he will be more interested in mopping floors, but he has always been generally happy to do indoor tasks like fixing, building, assembling, or painting.
Long comment on my own post.
Maybe he saw Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street.
ReplyDeleteeating stuff out of the garbage can is one of the signs of an eating disorder. theo....please.
ReplyDelete