I feel it all

I’m blogging on my phone today, because I’ve gone upstairs for the night and my computer is apparently still downstairs. I could go downstairs and find it, but I just made a pointed exit to end an argument, so, reappearing so quickly would take a little of the shine off of that...

I think I have blogged about HSP before (highly sensitive person). It’s the silliest label to claim, but I claim it my friends, I claim it. Noises, lights, colors, textures, smells, I feel it all. (Sorry if the Feist song is in your head now- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l-iAS18rv68

I hate it (because it’s so stupid) and I love it (because it’s so me). 

So maybe it took me several tries to get the exact right paint color for my front door. 5 tries to be exact. It’s the only shade of blue that doesn’t wash out next to the pink brick facade, which I dislike but can’t change.

So maybe I will throw away perfectly functional “daylight” (cool) toned lightbulbs rather than spend one second of my life under their ghastly beams.

So maybe I keep an ancient stick of deodorant in my closet, because when I catch a whiff I remember happy times. (RIP, Teen Spirit Berry Blossom. You got me through ages 15-25.)(Feel free to judge, 12 years later it still smells like heaven itself)

So maybe I just bought myself some noise-canceling headphones because I cannot stand another afternoon of listening to my son pounding out hymns on the piano, but I can’t ask him to stop because he loves it so much. 

So maybe I order and return $800 worth of running shoes before I finally find the exact EXACT right fit. that’s what Zappos is for, am I right?

I will say that I’m oddly not a very picky eater. I’ll eat cold leftovers and not bat an eye. I’m one of those “eat to live” people (versus “live to eat”).

Anywho. All of that is to say, I have been like this my entire life, I will not go much further into it because I’ll save it for my therapist, and the upside of any trouble I have from sensory dismay: is that I get so, much, joy from sensory delights.

Every night, EVERY night when I slide into my perfectly comfortable bed I say out loud “I LOVE THIS BED SO MUCH.”

The natural light streaming in from my big living room window lifts my mood palpably, and when a person is stuck in said living room for months on end, any mood-lifter is welcome.

Drawstring linen pants. Every single day. Basically pajamas but no one has to know. Enough said.