Girl talk.

Girl talk! Boys, avert your eyes!

By the way I think Matt really, really likes it a lot when I post pictures like this.

So. Last week we were having a very mundane discussion in the car and I may have gotten a little dramatic when Matt's replies were not what I was looking for. I asked him, "Are you done being weird?" to which he replied, "Are you done being emotional?" to which I replied, "I will be, in about 8 to 12 days," to which he surrendered with a frustrated laugh. Nothing can unhinge Matt like PMS Wife can, except for maybe a big, ugly BYU loss.

Of course you may know that Matt's "Unhinged" is comparable to my "Almost Imperceptibly Annoyed." Long ago Hannah dubbed his disposition "Uni-Mood" and that's almost always true. A metaphor: the pirate ride at Knott's Berry Farm and other assorted theme parks, you know the pirate ship that swings back and forth. I am on the pirate ride and he is standing by the gate watching and talking to me. Every time I swing by I give him a high five. Sometimes I invite him to hop on the ride with me. He declines every time. Sometimes I ask him several times in a row. Finally, once in a blue moon I just reach out and drag him onto the ride with me. After a couple of swings he wrenches himself out of my grasp and dives back onto solid ground. Rolling when he hits the concrete of course, to avoid injury. He stands up, adjusts his shirt and continues our conversation as though nothing had happened.

Moving on, because I am starting to have too much fun with the pirate ship metaphor. I read that PMS does not cause emotions but instead enhances the ones I already have, so I can't completely blame it. Anything I might be fretting or otherwise upset about, becomes the end of the world for a week or two every 4-5 weeks. And minor, daily-type victories become life-altering triumphs. (I scrubbed the kitchen floor yesterday--alert the media!) I should probably just stay away from public gatherings and also resist sending e-mails or writing blog posts during this time.

Apparently it is common for PMS to get worse with age and babies. For me it definitely has. And it doesn't matter whether I am dealing with synthetic hormones or just my own real ones. It happens every time either way, although synthetic is a little worse. I hate being part of this stereotype.

So if I am acting a little bit strange, maybe quoting an excessive amount of melancholy poetry, maybe uncomfortably defensive, maybe overly theatrical, I know it's a cop-out, but you might be able to blame it on my hormones. Or you could blame my personality because most of the time it is that too.