I'm Just Wondering

I like to think that I'm decent at "enduring to the end."

Okay, maybe medium decent.

I'm not talking about big life trials here, I'm talking about the kind of short-term endurance where you're so behind schedule even you can't believe it, and the rest of the quarter (all 4 weeks, in my case) looms before you, not like an exciting path of intellectual discovery to culminate in a sense of accomplishment and pride, but like a very, very long checklist to culminate in...utter exhaustion, maybe.

Matt and I are in agreement: the time has come for both of us where the path is now the checklist. Because it's not only the end of the quarter or semester, it's graduation we're talking about. Who cares anymore?! (Fortunately he only has a few days left of this.)

In college my mantra during finals was, "I'll get it done." That's how I comforted myself when the tasks piled up because I knew no matter what, I would get it done. Hester and I would say to each other, "You can do anything for four weeks/three weeks/one week." The thought that I wouldn't pass a class just didn't occur to me. It might come down to zero hours of sleep and burning the midnight oil and all of that, but then it would all be over.

My problem now is that I'm a little tired of it! I feel like I've already graduated! Only 2 classes this quarter, neither of which are very interesting to me, one a bewildering 5-crediter where I made the mistake of listening to the professor when she told us the assignment due dates were more like "suggestions." Now I have 5 papers left to write for it instead of the 2 I should have, according to the "suggested" timeline.

And this time instead of doggedly checking things off, I'm wondering....Will I get it done????



I will...right?